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Localization manager/translator and coach/intercultural consultant living in Berlin (Germany), passionate about diversity management and intercultural communication, self-awareness and coaching, SFBT and NVC, languages, cultures, body art, dancing, self-empowerment, and, last but not least, vegan gluten-free keto food and good movies.

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I'm the only person responsible for its content and the views and opinions expressed here are solely mines.
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Monday, December 19, 2016

"People change", "People never change": Why both sentences are true and not relevant to you

People change. People never change.
Depending whom you are talking to, you could hear both undeniable 'truths' about people and life, used either in a positive or negative way in order to describe oneself, other people, the right attitude for something, a bad person, the reason why someone should do or not do something, and so on.

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
Barbara Haines Howett
Ladies of the Borobudur

And yet, both sentences are true. But they are not 'truths'. And they are not lies. 
They simply represent two possible perspectives, two different storytelling chances, two common mindsets.

[Not as famous as the poetic quote by Barbara Haines Howett
that rules the Internet and has been displayed in zillion kawaii memes, 
and still a very funny quote about caterpillars by George Carlin]

People change. We all do.
Our bodies change, our knowledge and skill set change, our taste about food music clothes movies beverages vacations changes, our ideas and our dreams change. Our job description changes. Our priorities change.

People never change. We are always the same.
Our bodies don't change dramatically without surgery or external influences, our previous knowledge doesn't disappear when we learn something new, our taste changes but not as much as we would like to think when we consider ourselves very well educated and open, our ideas and our dreams are part of who we are and change at the same pace that we have in other things. Our next job would probably be in the same field or in the same city of the previous one, or even both. Our priorities sometimes stay the same for years. And then they change again.

Change is part of life.
Some of us embrace change on a daily basis, some of us prefer to avoid change if possible.
At the end of the day, there is no right and wrong. There are just choices and they are both totally fine, as long as one is happy with his/her own choices.

And yet, if you feel that you have changed, you really have and people keep treating you in the good old way and telling you that you didn't change because people never change, don't worry and let go.

They are not talking about you.
They are talking about themselves and their own way of seeing the world.

People can always change, if they believe that they can and are willing to do the hard work that every lasting change requires. Caterpillars and butterflies and cocoons can be found only in fairy tales. And maybe in some old Ron Howard movie.

Tags: Change, Attitude about changes, Quotes

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