7 easy tips on how to create the right frame for an important meeting

Are you practicing the four steps of Nonviolent Communication?

I hope so!

While using the steps of Nonviolent Communication to face conflicts and difficult situations in a respectful and pleasant way, it's very important to create the right frame for your discussions, in order to make it easy for you and for the other person to ride over the problems without getting stressed and without losing the face. 

[The right frame is essential, 

while discussing an important matter]

Here you can find 7 easy and useful tips, related to emotional intelligence, perfect for creating a peaceful and "productive" frame for a meeting, a discussion or a gathering:

#1.  Don't try to discuss a very important matter with someone if you are upset or angry;

#2. Calm down and connect with yourself before doing it.

#3. Ask someone when he/she has time to discuss the matter with you and be open to his/her suggestions.

#4. Discuss the matter with someone in a neutral environment, if possible;

#5. Discuss the matter with someone in a place where you can be sure of not being disturbed by others.

#6. Discuss the matter with someone in private and not in front of other people who are not involved;

#7. Schedule a "feedback" meeting after a week (or after a month, it depends on the matter), if necessary, for discussing improvements, changes and further topics.

Did I forget something?

Are you already using these tips?

Let's discuss in the comments!

Previous posts:

The four fantastic steps of Nonviolent Communication – Step #1. Observations

The four fantastic steps of Nonviolent Communication - Step #2. Feelings

The four fantastic steps of Nonviolent Communication - Step #3. Needs

The four fantastic steps of Nonviolent Communication - Step #4. Requests

Tags: Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Emotional Intelligence, Meeting

The four fantastic steps of Nonviolent Communication – Step #4. Requests

Nonviolent Communication is becoming a second nature for you? It's a great news, even more because  today we are going to discuss the last step of the communication process invented by Marshall Rosenberg. 

Step #1. Observations

Step #2. Feelings

Step #3. Needs

Step #4. Requests 

Step #4. of 4, Requests, will help you to point out what you want without being perceived as aggressive or rude.

[Step #4. of Nonviolent Communication is all about

making a request in a nonviolent way]

After observing a situation and describing it in a facts-oriented way, recognizing the feelings that the situation suscitates in you and expressing your (absolutely human!) needs, it's time to make a request, in order to find a solution that can make the situation more pleasant or at least acceptable for you and for other people involved.

You should:

- make a request related to the present situation. The past is... the past and it doesn't matter now, also because you can't change or improve it. Focus on the present and prepare yourself for a better future;

- express your request, being clear about what exactly has to be done/changed/improved, how and in what sort of timeframe. Provide as much information as possible and be patient: the other person may need time in order to work the situation out!

The request: 

- must be precise, clear, positively expressed. Simply saying "Please don't do XY again!" or "Please don't be rude next time!" will not help anybody;

- can include relevant information about what you are going to do by yourself in order to make the situation easier for both sides. Feel free to get feedback on this one, by asking if your actions will help the other person to get things done on his/her side.

The most important part is also the most difficult one: Please don't forget that, in order to communicate in a nonviolent way, a request is a request, not a threat. It must be possible for the other side to accept or to reject the request. Be prepared for a "no" or for a counterproposal.

Don't take it personally!

Next Saturday we will take a look at the necessary frame for a nonviolent discussion.

See you!

Previous posts:

The four fantastic steps of Nonviolent Communication – Step #1. Observations

The four fantastic steps of Nonviolent Communication - Step #2. Feelings

The four fantastic steps of Nonviolent Communication - Step #3. Needs

Tags: Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Marshall Rosenberg, Requests