The quote to keep in mind every time you need to keep calm and stay in control

When thinking about self-empowerment, self-awareness, and emotional agility, very few quotes can compare to this evergreen gem by Jim Rohn: 

["Either you run the day, or the day runs you"

Well said, Jim Rohn!]

In a nutshell, you either are in control of your emotions, thoughts, and actions and go through the day accordingly, or you are going to be "controlled" by the day and by every possible external factor, distraction, and unrequested interaction that comes your way.

What's your daily strategy? How do you relate to this quote, if at all?        

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Motivational quotes, Emotional intelligence

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #88. - Your many accountability buddies

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One of the best descriptions of coaching you will ever read, brought to you by Carl Richards

The always brilliant Carl Richards penned one of the best descriptions I ever read of how coaching actually works and why it can be so helpful and nourishing:

You don’t hire a coach — whether to help you with money, business, creativity, or sports — because you’re stupid.

You hire a coach because they’re not you.

Other people can see things you clearly cannot see.

[A good coach is an excellent detector of blind spots.

Well said, Carl Richards!]

Way too many people think hiring a coach is the same as admitting something is wrong with them or screaming out loud in front of the world that they need someone else to "fix" them and that the fixing needed is so "bad" that they cannot do it alone.

This could not be farther from the truth.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #390. - Intentional with decisions

The sentence "A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally" is attributed to Oliver Herford by Leonard Lewis Levinson in his Left-Handed Dictionary, published in 1963 by MacMillan Publishing Company. 
Did he actually say it?

We don't know. Over the years, similar quotes have been linked in no particular order to Oscar Wilde, Lord Chesterfield, Margaret Butler, unspecified or misquoted Greek philosophers, Geraldine Grove, and, more recently, Christopher Hitchens, and John Cleese.

[If the answer to this question should not come easy to you,

how about starting with small decisions at first?]

Whoever actually said one of those famous lines for the very first time is not so relevant, in the end. 
The main point stays the same: It's all about intention.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #386. - Something risky, every single day

For most people, something "risky" is the same as something huge, scary, and dangerous: A big life decision, a bold move that can change everything, being physically in danger, an amazing adventure in the wild, or a costly gamble of some kind.

And yet "risky" doesn't have to be something life-threatening every single time. 

We make risky decisions every single day, often without even realizing it, every time that we go for something without being 100% sure about the outcome... which is the case most of the time.

[Another way of asking this question could be
"What could have had a price tag today?"]

What is going to be risky? Speak up or remaining silent? Trying something different or accepting the status quo? Being blunt or opting for small-talk?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #381. - Our daily quest beauty, from now on

What is life all about, after all? 
In The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013), the second movie adaptation of the short story by James Thurber (1939) directed by Ben Stiller as a remake of the one with Danny Kaye and Virginia Mayo (1947), the wise and adventurous photographer Sean O'Connell played by Sean Penn says "Beautiful things don't ask for attention".

That's not only a very interesting line and an elegant way to introduce the bittersweet plot twist that will become clear at the end of the movie, but also a fascinating way to look at life.

[The best thing about this question?

Every place is a good one to start with, 

as long as we start for real...]

Beautiful things don't ask for attention, but we can learn to notice and appreciate them anyway.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #380. - The art of leaving out what is not needed

The English novelist Henry Vincent Yorke (1905-1973), better known as Henry Green, famously said: "The more you leave out, the more you highlight what you leave in."
Difficult to understand for many, particularly during times of affluence and wastefulness, this principle could be also summarized with the popular saying "Less is more".

And indeed, as counterintuitive as it may sound, quite often less is more: more important, more visible, more valuable, more in the spotlight, more remarkable.

[Just think about how to leave out all the rest, 

like in the famous Linkin Park song]

What remains is what's necessary. Far from being interchangeable or superfluous, what is necessary is (or should be) critical and meaningful for each of us.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #376. - The dating question that can be used in many other settings as well

"You are crazy, sometimes", he says while he's laughing, which is usually a very good sign during a coaching session.

"Yes, I am", I smile. Because I am happy. And because I am crazy, in my own way.

It took me so many years to learn that's a good thing. To some extent.

According to Alain de Botton, "And how are you crazy?" could and should become "a standard question on any early dinner date", and if you ask me, it makes a lot of sense (besides the fact that right now going on a dinner date could be rather problematic because of the pandemic...).

[Play with this question and have fun with it.

Afterwards, you will be glad that you did]

No matter the actual circumstances, the question is still revealing and interesting and some of the following variants could also be quite powerful during a job interview at a later stage in the recruiting process, a business meeting between two potential partners, and a relaxed small-talk round at a networking event:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #374. - Your next bold statement

Swedish writer, educator, and suffragist Ellen Key (1849-1926) famously said: "Happiness lies so far from man, but he must begin by daring to will it."

It's a fascinating observation, in which being bold and being willing to dare are seen as important prerequisites for achieving (and pursuing) happiness.

[What if our bold statements would be

absolutely necessary for our happiness?]

Isn't it a little bit like they were synonyms, in the end?

Can we be truly happy without being brave enough to stand up for ourselves and make a bold statement if necessary?

Coaching question of the day: 

"Which bold statement should you make right now?"                              

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Self-empowerment, Quotes, Boldness, Being brave, Making a bold statement

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #153. - Being bold against all the odds

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #317. - Getting ready VS. living

Ralph Waldo Emerson [1883-1882] famously wrote that "We are always getting ready to live but never living."  

I think we are all, in some capacity, "guilty" of this.  

Instead of cherishing what is and being thankful for who we are and what we have, we spend our days endlessly getting ready to live: We get ready and we wait for something that may or may not happen.

[Having goals, dreams, and expectations is fine and dandy...

as long as we keep living while we are pursuing them

instead of waiting for our life to "start" under better circumstances]

And yet we keep waiting and getting ready for something we believe will be what's necessary for us to start living our life to its fullest, at last:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #306. - Self-mockery à la Victor Mature

What's your favorite Victor Mature movie?

Legend has it that sometimes around the peak years of his quite successful movie career, Victor Mature (1913-1999), famous Hollywood heartthrob and muscular movie star in the 40s and 50s, when his application as a member of the Los Angeles Country Club got rejected because he was an actor, replied: 

"I'm not an actor — and I've got 64 films to prove it!"

[Having people laughing with you

is way more interesting than 

having people laughing at you]

Since many different sources have quoted this episode and since Victor Mature himself also said something similar during an interview in the late 60s, we could assume that it is true.

In any case, true or not, the quirky anecdote proves a point:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #296. - Preparing for new adventures, with a caveat

The motivational mantra of one of the most ambitious and driven people I have ever met in my whole life is "Preparation is everything".

Again and again, I had to think about it and, at least to me, it holds some truth. With a caveat.

The caveat is beautifully depicted in a popular quote often wrongly attributed to Thomas Jefferson or Samuel Goldwyn and probably crafted in its actual form by Coleman Cox almost exactly a century ago, that goes: "I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more of it I seem to have."

[Preparation may not be everything, 

but it can be of vital importance anyway...]

Even if preparation itself is not everything and other factors (timing, serendipity, sheer luck, unpredictable external circumstances, and so on) do usually play a role as well, being well prepared and having a solid plan with a lot of options is very often a game-changer.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #277. - Your favorite quote, and what it says about you

Sometimes quotes are just a commodity, a gimmick, a shortcut for getting attention or creating some drama, a (cheap) way of causing a stir, it doesn't matter whether on social media, on an article, or at the dinner table.

Other times, when they are used for sharing knowledge, explaining complex ideas, or describing a belief system in an accessible way, quotes can be life-changing, and even mind-blowing.

[Many of my favorite quotes are from movies

and classic titles from European literature.

How about you?]

A quote is like a secret door to another world, another place, another perspective, and we usually have a couple of favorite ones that we use again and again when the circumstances are right... and once in a while, even when they are actually not a good fit.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #268. - Your version of possible, your version of impossible

"That's impossible", they say. And they often mean it.

Even if they may be wrong. Or even if maybe it is true for them but it doesn't have to be true for you.

What is possible and what is impossible is often a construct of our minds, like Muhammad Ali (1942-2016) beautifully said (even in just an Adidas ad, the copy was actually by copywriter Aimee Lehto):

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.

[You know, all those things where you usually go:
"If someone would have told me that one year ago

I would have never believed them"]

Coaching question of the day: 

"What just happened that you considered impossible not that long ago?"                         

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Impossible, Perception, Quotes from advertising, Growth mindset, Belief system

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #35. - Your life motto

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #262. - What your dreams and your happiness are made of

While interviewed about what in life could bring long-lasting happiness, Zappos' visionary CEO Tony Hsieh [1973-2020] replied: 

Most of the frameworks for happiness conclude that there are four things required: perceived control, perceived progress, connectedness (meaning the depths of relationships) and being part of something bigger than yourself.

We often tend to focus on the first two elements of this happiness formula, perceived control and perceived progress, and we don't pay that much attention to the other two elements.

Connectedness (emotional wellbeing and sense of belonging) is way too often taken for granted, and being part of something bigger is just good for children or for hopeless dreamers.

[Your dreams can be about whatever makes you happy

and gives meaning to your life.

Sharing them can change other lives as well]

And yet, it's no wonder one of the most remembered songs of John Lennon is still "Imagine", with its famous riff: 

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #247. - Standing out, just like Mae West would

Even if many people, as a rule of thumb, prefer to keep a low profile instead of attracting attention, more often than not the divine Mae West [1893-1980] was absolutely right: "It is better to be looked over than overlooked".

Standing out may be exactly what we need, if it's done on our own terms, and as a way to stay true to ourselves and to cherish who we are.

[In your private life, in your career, with your old friends,

with your fashion choices... 

Where's time to be daring?]

If it's something that still feels difficult or risky, it may be the right moment for asking ourselves where being ourselves more often would make us happy, even if this should mean catching other people's eyes and being different.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #245. - Between powerless and powerful: Self-fulfilling prophecies

Today's question may sound silly until it becomes clear that self-fulfilling prophecies are not just the ones related to big events, the perfect soul mate, or whether or not it's a good idea to become a digital nomad and leave everything behind in the process.

Every kind of thought we have related to our self-efficacy, our self-worth, and our ability to grow, to learn, to change, and to make a difference is, to some extent, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[The question could actually be

whether or not such prophecies make you feel condemned

or free to dare greatly]

Henry Ford probably never actually said that “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right", and yet... it's nevertheless a good point.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #190. - The resilience slogan you wouldn't expect

Besides being a popular meme and a quote wrongly attributed to Clint Eastwood, "Improvise, adapt, and overcome" is one of the most used slogans in the United States Marine Corps.

As surprising as this may be, the main elements cherished in the slogan are the same that characterize resilience.

Resilience is about "bouncing forward" while dealing with difficult situations and significant obstacles in life while finding a suitable way to react, adapt in order to move forward, and create a positive outcome for us. 

Even if it's a popular misconception, resilience is not about surviving, it is about thriving and experiencing growth even when the external conditions could be less than favorable.

[Improvising can make you more resilient.
Who would have expected that?]

A good training for building up resilience?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #188. - Dealing with the unexpected

There's one old Yiddish proverb made famous by Woody Allen in the version "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans" and, to me, it is clear why it has been quoted again and again over the years.
Life is unpredictable, and even if a good plan helps, being resilient, flexible, and able to deal with whatever comes our way helps as well.

Having some sense of humor is quite helpful too, just like having that famous plan.
Dealing with the unexpected is part of being human, and still, it is no excuse for having no plans, no direction in life, and no long-term ambitions.

[The unexpected can be...

Just what you actually needed]

Also, dealing with the unexpected doesn't always make the expected outcome less likely.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #166. - You, every single day

In 1956, while commenting on the new developments of the movie scene of the latest years and on the occasion of his The Man Who Knew Too Much, Alfred Hitchcock (1899-1980) notoriously said:

Movies have lost a lot by this new trend towards documentary realism at the sacrifice of fantasy. After all, drama is life with the dull bits cut out.

This is something that we tend to forget quite often: We expect our life, our career, and our relationships to be as exciting and adventurous as in the movies and to be that way all the time.

[Besides Instagram and all social media,

who are you every day, when nobody is watching?]

We also expect ourselves to be as bold and bigger than life as we can see the main character of our favorite movie be in the most important scene...

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #155. - So many roles, so many choices

William Shakespeare (1564-1616), or who actually wrote his comedies and tragedies in the case that all speculations about his identity should be true, nailed it around four hundred years ago already:

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

As You Like It

We all play a role in other people's lives.
Most of the time, we play many roles, depending on the context: Who are we as a colleague? As a consultant? As a freelancer? As a parent? As a friend? As a partner?

[If you don't like the word "role",

you can use the word "function" instead]

The list could go on.