Coaching Monday: Actually, not a big deal

We behave, we talk, and we get stressed & upset as if everything, every day, would always be a big deal.

The truth is, most things are not a big deal at all. Not now, not in five minutes, not in five days, and definitely not in five months, or five years from now.

[Do you want to make a game out of it?

How about finding every day one thing 

that is actually not a big deal?]

Realizing it is quite liberating, both short-term and long-term.

All those things that used to be a big deal in our imagination and are not... can help us get back mental space, energy, time, and attention for the very few things that truly are a big deal.

"What is actually not a big deal?" 

PS. I can start. Last week I was not able to post my Coaching Monday question for technical reasons. Unfortunate, and yet, in the big scheme of things? Actually not a big deal.

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Letting go, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #219. - Your measuring stick for big statements

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Coaching Monday: Your song for endless days

Music is so inspiring and powerful that we should always be aware of the incredible effect it has on us, our body, our nerves, our energy level, and our emotional state of being.

So during difficult or long days, it's important to pick our soundtrack very carefully and intentionally.

[If you have more than one song for those days,

that's even better!]

If you don't have already different playlists able to energize you, motivate you, calm you, entertain you, and soothe you depending on the needs of the moment, it's time to create some very soon.

Have fun with the process!

"What's your song for days that feel endless?"                                              

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Self-care, Power of music, Personal playlists

What to read next:

Coaching Monday: Your happy tune for rainy days

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Coaching Monday: The reality check question

Today's weekly question may seem too easy. Or too difficult to answer.
I strongly believe that we should ask ourselves this question more often, quite regularly, as a useful and humbling reality check.

[Write down today's answer to this question, 

and then ask yourself the same question in a week.

Comparing both answers may surprise you]

No matter when you last asked (yourself and/or others) this question, today is a good day to ask it again.

"What's next?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Reality check

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #161. - Turning off your autopilot

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Coaching Monday: In need of a rethink

The big misunderstanding about rethinking something is the idea that rethinking something is like admitting that we were wrong before. Maybe sometimes it may be true, but it's not always the case.

[A rethink doesn't always have to be big or life-changing, 

but it can always change the quality of our lives]

A rethink is a new (mental, physical, emotional) place, a new page, a new chapter. A rethink is a chance to start fresh again thanks to different ideas, updated information, and/or improved tools.

What could be better than that?

"Where in your life do you need a rethink?"                                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Rethink, New chapters, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #159. - Rethinking what crying is for

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Coaching Monday: Your cue for walking away

We can call it a deal-breaker, a no-no, a red flag. Or we can just call it our cue. We all have one, for both getting involved with AND walking away from something (or someone).

Recognizing our cue is half the battle.

[Knowing what your cue is before you are going to need it

can spare you from drama, problems, and discomfort]

"What is your cue for walking away from something?"                                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Boundaries, Letting go

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #134. - Your money, as a customer

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Coaching Monday: Protecting what's non-negotiable

Important decisions are scary. We may fear the consequences, the uncertainty of an unknown outcome, the FOMO. 

Also, many of us focus only on the supposed outcome and not on the journey that a specific decision can generate for us. They focus on the "what", not on the "how" or the "why".

That way, it's difficult to know where we are headed with the decision we are about to take.

[Another way to think about this question is:

"What's the most precious treasure I have

and how I am going to protect it?]

Knowing what is non-negotiable and how we are going to protect what's non-negotiable to us provides us with a blueprint for every decision. This way, we always know what we can compromise on and what is out of the question, what can be a possibility and what we would for sure regret in the long run, what is worth the effort and the discomfort, and what we can let go of. 

When in doubt, let's look for what's non-negotiable.

"How do you protect what is non-negotiable to you?" 

                                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Priorities

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #15. - Not negotiable

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Coaching Monday: Your happy tune for rainy days

There are good days and, sometimes, not-so-good days.

It's important to enjoy and be thankful for the good ones and practice resilience, self-care, and emotional intelligence during the not-so-good ones. Like with everything else, it may take some time and practice to get there.

We can always do our best to make the most of a not-so-good day. There's always room for improvement and a not-so-good day can become a good one, after all.

One of the first rules, at least for me, is knowing what I need to feel better, improve my mood, and keep calm even if not everything is going as planned.

Listening to music is incredibly powerful and yet still undervalued, even if we do it all the time.

When I don't feel well, I know that many songs will flip my mood within seconds of listening to them, and those are the ones I call my "happy tunes for rainy days".

[A good example? For me, for sure

"Steal My Sunshine" by Len]

Having some of them always handy, if needed, is for me a sure way to give my not-so-good days a fair chance to become a good one. How about you?

"What is your happy tune for rainy days?" 

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Happy tunes for rainy days, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #323. - The soundtrack of your days

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Coaching Monday: Your best-case scenario, for a change

Happy New Year, everyone!
I am back from the festive break with one of the questions I like the most.

We like to hope for the best and plan for the worst, be ready so that we don't have to get ready, and we love to say that there are no mistakes, only life lessons.

So far, so good, but how about concentrating less on avoiding the worst-case scenario and thinking more about our best-case scenario?

Moving toward what we want is so much more interesting than trying again and again to run away from what we don't want, so our best-case scenario may deserve some time, attention, and focus...

[In order to make progress and see results,

it's very important to get acquainted with the outcome

we are working toward]

Are we sure to know what it looks like, what it means for us and our loved ones, what it takes to get there, and what we need to be doing for it?

What if what we have is already very close to our best-case scenario? Are we able to see it?

"How does your best-case scenario look like?"    

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Best-case scenario

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #357. - The blocker that isn't actually a blocker

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Coaching Monday: The time to call it quits, sometimes

Once in a while, in the middle of something, we may hear a little voice from within saying something like "That's enough", "This doesn't make sense any longer", or "It's time to stop".

And yet, even if the voice may be right and calling it quits could be the most reasonable thing to do, we don't, more often than not out of fear.

Calling it quits has a bad reputation, as if calling it quits sometimes would automatically mean that we are quitters all the time and that quitting is what defines us. 

In reality, they are two different, separate things.

[While reading this question, your mileage may vary.

All is possible, from "Many times a day" to "Never",

but I like to think that the answer is 

"When something doesn't feel right"]

Calling it quits can be a good decision.

Depending on the circumstances, it's about cutting losses, letting go, designing a healthier schedule for ourselves, setting boundaries, changing course, improving our time management, concentrating on the right priorities...

Calling it quits is not always about laziness or someone's character flaws. And yet, we are still afraid. 

"When is it time to call it quits?"    

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Time management, Setting boundaries, Letting go

What to read next:

Coaching reloaded - Coaching question of the day #418. - There's no going back, and that's a good thing

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Coaching Monday: The question you keep asking yourself

Suppose the quality of our lives depends on the quality of the questions we ask (ourselves and others, no exception) on a bigger scale than on the quality of the answers we give and receive. In that case, it's easy to understand that being aware of the questions we keep asking ourselves is pivotal in creating the lives we want to lead.

We may be aware of some of those questions, others may run in the background, invisible and unchecked, and yet in a sort of endless loop. Are they useful? Are they helpful? Are they serving or hurting us?

[A good way of practicing self-observation

is asking yourself how you feel

after each of the questions you ask yourself]

When in doubt, getting curious about which questions are keeping us company regularly can be the missing step in getting the clarity we need and in noticing thinking patterns, both positive and negative, that may have a big influence on us without us noticing.

How about you?

"What is the question you keep asking yourself?"

                                                 

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Thinking patterns, Self-observation, Life design

What to read next:

With the right reframing, there are no stupid questions

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Coaching Monday: Your own definition for "liberating"

"Liberating" is a word we don't use that often, probably because it has been weaponized and misused in the past. 

I hope we can finally leave that collective past behind us and, letting politics aside, ask ourselves what would be liberating.

What does the word mean for each of us?

What do we associate the word with?

[With your answer to this question 

you can go big or, just as good, 

stay small and think about all the little things

that make you feel free, and lighter]

To me, being honest with myself feels liberating, and the same applies to being able to let go, choosing my battles carefully and ignoring the rest, and plenty of other habits that can make a difference in my life on a daily basis.

How about you?

"What would feel liberating right now?"           

                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Healthy habits, Liberating

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #279. - A liberating experience, today

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Coaching Monday: Your open list for this year

I hardly believe it, and probably it's the same for you, and yet there are only five weeks left before kissing this year goodbye.
Even if it may feel pointless to make plans or think about what could be achieved before the year is over, it's not pointless at all.

[A career change, asking someone out, learning a new skill,

going for a trip, a difficult phone call,
dedicating more time to yourself...

What item is still on your list for 2023?]

The days will go by in any case, whether we spend them doing something meaningful and productive or not, so why not give the items still on our list for this year a shot and work towards them, one day at a time?

"What is still on your list for this year?"   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Time management, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #362. - Your plan for the next three months

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Coaching Monday: Just lovely

Sadly enough, we often use the expression "just lovely" in a very sarcastic way, in order to convey quite the opposite.

"Isn't just lovely?!" we say while being actually upset, angry, stressed, even desperate, or all of these things at once.

[That's the kind of question that could help you

establish a new daily ritual about finding something lovely

and being open about it]

Wouldn't it be better if we would get used to using the expression while truly meaning it and do our best to find daily something that is, indeed, just lovely?

What kind of difference would it make in our days and what would our focus be, this way?
"What about today has been just lovely?"

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Emotional intelligence, Positive reinforcement, Focus

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #95. - How every single smile counts

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Coaching Monday: Simply irresistible, because...

Today's question for Coaching Monday may look silly and yet it is pretty important and revealing.
The answer to it is for sure very personal and says a lot about us, what we like, what we value and find endearing, about our soft spots.

The answer to it is so personal that we may or may not feel comfortable sharing it with others at all, depending on their role in our lives and how we want to be seen, perceived, and considered.

[No matter what others would think of your answer, 

the most important part is the "why" attached to the question]

What matters is for us to be honest with ourselves about the answer, it doesn't matter whether we decide to share it with others or not, and to get curious about the why. Even if we think that we know ourselves well, discovering the "why" could be a big revelation.

"Who or what is simply irresistible to you, and why?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, 

What to read next:

Not feeling 300% motivated and full of energy 24/7 every single day? This is what you should ask yourself, instead of beating yourself up

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Coaching Monday: Thinking ahead

Thinking ahead is important, but being able to be in the moment and reflect on the past is just as important.

We may want to be all in for playing the long game and to have as many steps as possible figured out as soon as possible... and yet finding a good balance between our thoughts on the future, the present, and the past is what can help us design the kind of life that will make us happy, thankful, and satisfied both short-term and long-term.

[How about three to five? You would prefer to have ten?

What's a good number for you?]

Thinking ahead is great, as long as we don't get lost in the process and forget about the present moment. 
"How many steps ahead are you thinking right now?" 

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Thinking ahead, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #214. - The golden part of your day, every day

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Coaching Monday: The ones that make us feel special

You will probably agree that our desire to feel special and to be treated accordingly is no secret and incredibly human.

We want to be around people who are able to make us feel special, show us their appreciation, and that with their behavior are saying "I see you, I value you, I am thankful for you".

The people around us want that too. 

[Very often, making someone feel special

is all about the little gestures, the small details, the ways we show

that we notice, we care, we remember, we are grateful]

It's never too late to find ways to make our loved ones feel seen, cherished, and... every day a little bit more like they were your own personal VIP.

Getting curious about the five love languages by Gary Chapman is a good place to start. What else could you try out?

 

"How do you make your loved ones feel special?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Five love languages, Gratefulness, Relationship mindsets

What to read next:

Coaching Monday: What gift-receiving says about you

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Coaching Monday: The reward for staying curious

People are full of surprises, more than we expect them to be and way more than what we often credit them for. 

But in order to be able to see it and to let us surprise us, we have to give up control to a certain degree and stay curious instead, granting the people around us the benefit of the doubt, which is not always easy.

[The more unexpected the surprise, the better.
And you can also be the one surprising yourself]

Staying curious and giving people around you the benefit of the doubt can be so rewarding! 

"Who surprised you today?"   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Curiosity, Strong relationships

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #408. - Every shade of unpredictability

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Coaching Monday: In only twenty minutes

Our to-do lists get longer and longer every day, and yet, somehow, we keep saying "I will take care of [insert a task you are dreading right now] at some point".

Why at some point? Why not today?

While hoping for the best and waiting for those magical days when we will have plenty of time to do everything and catch up with anything in order to get started, we are ignoring very powerful pockets of time where, in only twenty minutes, we can get things done and accomplish more than we would have expected or ever imagined possible.

[An extra tip? Go for a small task that can be completed 

in only twenty minutes, start to finish:

tackle one of those each day (or most days)

and enjoy the positive domino effect they create]

Just twenty minutes of focused work can be like a miracle. Are you ready to try and accept the challenge?

"What can you get done in only twenty minutes?"      

                                         

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Time management, Productivity

What to read next:

A short reality check question for all your to-do lists

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Coaching Monday: Something worth celebrating

Since Germany is celebrating one of its most meaningful national holidays this week, this Coaching Monday is dedicated to celebrations.

The big achievements need to be recognized as such and celebrated, sure thing, but what about the small ones that many people take for granted or brush off out of fear of being seen as someone bragging for no reason? 

[The answer to this question is a very solid hint

to what matters the most to you: 

career, health, success, relationships, self-awareness, generosity...]

And what about the tiny ones and even the mistakes, the good days, the bad days, the daily baby steps that help us be who we want to be, even when we are not at our best but we are still doing our best to get there? 

Everything can be celebrated, and there is so much to be thankful for. Celebrating is not about showing off, it's about gratitude, humility, and hope.

"What in your life is worth celebrating?"        

                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Celebrations, Thankfulness

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #355. - Where the magic is already happening

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Coaching Monday: Young at heart

Age is just a number, they say. Sometimes it's true.

For this Coaching Monday, I would like to wish you a great last September week with a short, and yet very important question: 

[Like with all important questions, there's no wrong answer.

What makes sense to you makes sense, period]

"What can keep you young at heart?"                                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Motivation, Young at heart

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #200. - Looking for surprises

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