Coaching Monday: Actually, not a big deal

We behave, we talk, and we get stressed & upset as if everything, every day, would always be a big deal.

The truth is, most things are not a big deal at all. Not now, not in five minutes, not in five days, and definitely not in five months, or five years from now.

[Do you want to make a game out of it?

How about finding every day one thing 

that is actually not a big deal?]

Realizing it is quite liberating, both short-term and long-term.

All those things that used to be a big deal in our imagination and are not... can help us get back mental space, energy, time, and attention for the very few things that truly are a big deal.

"What is actually not a big deal?" 

PS. I can start. Last week I was not able to post my Coaching Monday question for technical reasons. Unfortunate, and yet, in the big scheme of things? Actually not a big deal.

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Letting go, Life design

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #219. - Your measuring stick for big statements

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Coaching Monday: Your song for endless days

Music is so inspiring and powerful that we should always be aware of the incredible effect it has on us, our body, our nerves, our energy level, and our emotional state of being.

So during difficult or long days, it's important to pick our soundtrack very carefully and intentionally.

[If you have more than one song for those days,

that's even better!]

If you don't have already different playlists able to energize you, motivate you, calm you, entertain you, and soothe you depending on the needs of the moment, it's time to create some very soon.

Have fun with the process!

"What's your song for days that feel endless?"                                              

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Self-care, Power of music, Personal playlists

What to read next:

Coaching Monday: Your happy tune for rainy days

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Coaching Monday: Your happy tune for rainy days

There are good days and, sometimes, not-so-good days.

It's important to enjoy and be thankful for the good ones and practice resilience, self-care, and emotional intelligence during the not-so-good ones. Like with everything else, it may take some time and practice to get there.

We can always do our best to make the most of a not-so-good day. There's always room for improvement and a not-so-good day can become a good one, after all.

One of the first rules, at least for me, is knowing what I need to feel better, improve my mood, and keep calm even if not everything is going as planned.

Listening to music is incredibly powerful and yet still undervalued, even if we do it all the time.

When I don't feel well, I know that many songs will flip my mood within seconds of listening to them, and those are the ones I call my "happy tunes for rainy days".

[A good example? For me, for sure

"Steal My Sunshine" by Len]

Having some of them always handy, if needed, is for me a sure way to give my not-so-good days a fair chance to become a good one. How about you?

"What is your happy tune for rainy days?" 

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Happy tunes for rainy days, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #323. - The soundtrack of your days

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Coaching Monday: The time to call it quits, sometimes

Once in a while, in the middle of something, we may hear a little voice from within saying something like "That's enough", "This doesn't make sense any longer", or "It's time to stop".

And yet, even if the voice may be right and calling it quits could be the most reasonable thing to do, we don't, more often than not out of fear.

Calling it quits has a bad reputation, as if calling it quits sometimes would automatically mean that we are quitters all the time and that quitting is what defines us. 

In reality, they are two different, separate things.

[While reading this question, your mileage may vary.

All is possible, from "Many times a day" to "Never",

but I like to think that the answer is 

"When something doesn't feel right"]

Calling it quits can be a good decision.

Depending on the circumstances, it's about cutting losses, letting go, designing a healthier schedule for ourselves, setting boundaries, changing course, improving our time management, concentrating on the right priorities...

Calling it quits is not always about laziness or someone's character flaws. And yet, we are still afraid. 

"When is it time to call it quits?"    

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Time management, Setting boundaries, Letting go

What to read next:

Coaching reloaded - Coaching question of the day #418. - There's no going back, and that's a good thing

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Coaching Monday: The question you keep asking yourself

Suppose the quality of our lives depends on the quality of the questions we ask (ourselves and others, no exception) on a bigger scale than on the quality of the answers we give and receive. In that case, it's easy to understand that being aware of the questions we keep asking ourselves is pivotal in creating the lives we want to lead.

We may be aware of some of those questions, others may run in the background, invisible and unchecked, and yet in a sort of endless loop. Are they useful? Are they helpful? Are they serving or hurting us?

[A good way of practicing self-observation

is asking yourself how you feel

after each of the questions you ask yourself]

When in doubt, getting curious about which questions are keeping us company regularly can be the missing step in getting the clarity we need and in noticing thinking patterns, both positive and negative, that may have a big influence on us without us noticing.

How about you?

"What is the question you keep asking yourself?"

                                                 

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Thinking patterns, Self-observation, Life design

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With the right reframing, there are no stupid questions

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Coaching Monday: Your own definition for "liberating"

"Liberating" is a word we don't use that often, probably because it has been weaponized and misused in the past. 

I hope we can finally leave that collective past behind us and, letting politics aside, ask ourselves what would be liberating.

What does the word mean for each of us?

What do we associate the word with?

[With your answer to this question 

you can go big or, just as good, 

stay small and think about all the little things

that make you feel free, and lighter]

To me, being honest with myself feels liberating, and the same applies to being able to let go, choosing my battles carefully and ignoring the rest, and plenty of other habits that can make a difference in my life on a daily basis.

How about you?

"What would feel liberating right now?"           

                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Healthy habits, Liberating

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #279. - A liberating experience, today

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Coaching Monday: Just lovely

Sadly enough, we often use the expression "just lovely" in a very sarcastic way, in order to convey quite the opposite.

"Isn't just lovely?!" we say while being actually upset, angry, stressed, even desperate, or all of these things at once.

[That's the kind of question that could help you

establish a new daily ritual about finding something lovely

and being open about it]

Wouldn't it be better if we would get used to using the expression while truly meaning it and do our best to find daily something that is, indeed, just lovely?

What kind of difference would it make in our days and what would our focus be, this way?
"What about today has been just lovely?"

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Emotional intelligence, Positive reinforcement, Focus

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #95. - How every single smile counts

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Coaching Monday: Simply irresistible, because...

Today's question for Coaching Monday may look silly and yet it is pretty important and revealing.
The answer to it is for sure very personal and says a lot about us, what we like, what we value and find endearing, about our soft spots.

The answer to it is so personal that we may or may not feel comfortable sharing it with others at all, depending on their role in our lives and how we want to be seen, perceived, and considered.

[No matter what others would think of your answer, 

the most important part is the "why" attached to the question]

What matters is for us to be honest with ourselves about the answer, it doesn't matter whether we decide to share it with others or not, and to get curious about the why. Even if we think that we know ourselves well, discovering the "why" could be a big revelation.

"Who or what is simply irresistible to you, and why?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, 

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Not feeling 300% motivated and full of energy 24/7 every single day? This is what you should ask yourself, instead of beating yourself up

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Coaching Monday: The ones that make us feel special

You will probably agree that our desire to feel special and to be treated accordingly is no secret and incredibly human.

We want to be around people who are able to make us feel special, show us their appreciation, and that with their behavior are saying "I see you, I value you, I am thankful for you".

The people around us want that too. 

[Very often, making someone feel special

is all about the little gestures, the small details, the ways we show

that we notice, we care, we remember, we are grateful]

It's never too late to find ways to make our loved ones feel seen, cherished, and... every day a little bit more like they were your own personal VIP.

Getting curious about the five love languages by Gary Chapman is a good place to start. What else could you try out?

 

"How do you make your loved ones feel special?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Five love languages, Gratefulness, Relationship mindsets

What to read next:

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Coaching Monday: Something worth celebrating

Since Germany is celebrating one of its most meaningful national holidays this week, this Coaching Monday is dedicated to celebrations.

The big achievements need to be recognized as such and celebrated, sure thing, but what about the small ones that many people take for granted or brush off out of fear of being seen as someone bragging for no reason? 

[The answer to this question is a very solid hint

to what matters the most to you: 

career, health, success, relationships, self-awareness, generosity...]

And what about the tiny ones and even the mistakes, the good days, the bad days, the daily baby steps that help us be who we want to be, even when we are not at our best but we are still doing our best to get there? 

Everything can be celebrated, and there is so much to be thankful for. Celebrating is not about showing off, it's about gratitude, humility, and hope.

"What in your life is worth celebrating?"        

                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Celebrations, Thankfulness

What to read next:

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Coaching Monday: Young at heart

Age is just a number, they say. Sometimes it's true.

For this Coaching Monday, I would like to wish you a great last September week with a short, and yet very important question: 

[Like with all important questions, there's no wrong answer.

What makes sense to you makes sense, period]

"What can keep you young at heart?"                                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Motivation, Young at heart

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #200. - Looking for surprises

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Coaching Monday: A different kind of jackpot

Today's question should be a no-brainer.
If we know the answer to this question and live by it, almost nothing will be impossible.

[What's your secret weapon

and show what you are truly made of,

even if you are dead tired?]

    

The days can be long and tiring.
Knowing what motivates and gives us strength is like winning the jackpot.

"What gives you strength when you are very tired?" 

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Strength, Resilience

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #369. - The hidden side of resilience

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Coaching Monday: Your most beloved treasure

If we talk about treasures, what's the first thing going through your mind?
The most apparent treasures may be material possessions, but everything and everyone can be a treasure: a strong relationship, our loved ones, a goal, our health, being resilient, a meaningful book, or the memories of a unique experience.

[The answer to this question may reveal 
what are your values and principles
and it can help you stay focused]

If someone asks about treasures, what's the gut answer that makes sense to you, and when was the last time you have been consciously thankful for it?

"What's your most beloved treasure and why?"  

                                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Thankfulness, Resilience, Personal values

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #295. - Your most treasured memory of this year

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Coaching Monday: Taking your gut feeling seriously

Many people (myself included) swear by it, others seem to doubt its existence and/or efficacy, and others would love to use it more for big and small decisions, but have lost the connection to it (or never had one to begin with).

We can call it "gut feeling", "instinct", "sixth sense", "or intuition", and come up with plenty of other names regularly. 

If you ask me, that happens when we were not taught to listen to it in the first place, or when for whatever reason we decided, at some point, that we could not trust our gut, or that decision-making is all about facts and figures and other elements are not relevant. 

[Your mileage may vary, but if you ask me,

the answer to this question should be: "Daily"]

And yet, I am sure that each of us said at least once in life: "I should have trusted my gut. Deep down, I knew that something was off, but I ignored it".

The good news is that we can always learn to trust our gut more, step by step, one decision at a time. It may require some effort, and that's okay.

The secret is creating new habits and reinforcing them consistently: taking our gut feeling into account before making a decision, asking ourselves how we feel about it, then taking the answer seriously and, if possible, acting on it. Decisions taken this way are very seldom the ones we end up regretting.

"How often do you take your gut feeling seriously?"   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Gut feeling, Decision-making

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #314. - Time to follow your intuition

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Coaching Monday: The unexpected side of worrying

Worrying about something has a bad reputation, but it's not always bad. 
Sometimes, being worried is precisely what we need. 

Acknowledging that something is bothering us is not a sign of failure, it's a sign of self-awareness and it may provide very useful feedback about us, our state of mind, our time management, and plenty of other essential factors that may require an honest audit and a reality check.

[The answer to this week's coaching question

can be something we don't want to think about

or something actually surprising and unexpected]

"What is bothering you right now and why?" 

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Emotional intelligence, Time management

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #395. - To worry, or not to worry, that is the question

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Coaching Friday: Performing under pressure

Happy Friday evening to everyone, amazing people!

Let's be honest for a minute: Being under pressure is often scary.

Being able to stay calm when the going gets tough? Having what it takes to think, to act in a meaningful way, and last but not least to perform well under pressure is not an easy thing to do.

And yet, most of the time, we can say afterward: "I did it". 

We make things work. We take things as they are, even when they are anything but perfect. We keep our cool and succeed, in our own way. 

[The last time you performed under pressure

you made yourself proud. It's great to celebrate it

and to remember it when you need it the most]

Some days the task is very scary, some days it's a little less scary, but most days we go for it anyway. Next time we're having a bad day, we should therefore ask ourselves: "When was the last time you performed under pressure?" 

As a nice reminder: 

Coaching Friday: Dealing with bad news

Today's coaching question has a special place in my heart.
Not everything in life is rainbows and unicorns, and something we have to deal with a disheartening piece of information, something frightening in the news that hits too close to home, or maybe a health scare or a layoff.

Even if the habit of "doom-scrolling" may be considered way more common now than in the past, most people still tend to be afraid of bad news in any shape or form. Even more so when it feels "personal".
It doesn't matter whether we are confronted with it on a personal or professional level, or if we are talking about received feedback, discovering something (negative and) unexpected, or catching up at last with long-feared consequences of a situation or decision... 

[What if we would see bad news as a chance

to get stronger and try something new in our lives?]

The way we deal with bad news is often revealing of how resilient we feel in the moment, how much we trust our ability to take care of ourselves and others in an unpleasant or scary scenario, and how confident we are that, eventually, we will be able to cope with something, learn from it, and make the most out of it.

"How do you deal with bad news?" often is a synonym for "Do you believe that you are able to grow under difficult circumstances?".
Is bad news always "forever bad" or is it a matter of perspective?              

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Resilience, Growth mindset, Emotional agility

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #369. - The hidden side of resilience

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The quote to keep in mind every time you need to keep calm and stay in control

When thinking about self-empowerment, self-awareness, and emotional agility, very few quotes can compare to this evergreen gem by Jim Rohn: 

["Either you run the day, or the day runs you"

Well said, Jim Rohn!]

In a nutshell, you either are in control of your emotions, thoughts, and actions and go through the day accordingly, or you are going to be "controlled" by the day and by every possible external factor, distraction, and unrequested interaction that comes your way.

What's your daily strategy? How do you relate to this quote, if at all?        

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Motivational quotes, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

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When "annoying" can actually mean something good... for you

Growth and self-awareness are not always about sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns.

More often than not, they are actually about the hard stuff, the unpleasant stuff, the stuff that makes us uncomfortable.

[There's no meaningless size of "annoying":

Big and small sources of annoyance can be equally revealing]

Knowing what annoys you is just as important as knowing what energizes and makes you happy.

The emphasis lies on the word "you", and for a reason: What annoys you can be a blessing for someone else, and vice-versa. 

Just because others don't mind, it doesn't mean you have to be okay with something, and just because something drives you crazy you shouldn't assume that it's the same for everyone else.

What does annoy you the most?             

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection,  Emotional intelligence, Well-being

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Three annoying things people do while dealing with tattooed people and what this has to do with you

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A question that is only apparently easy to answer, and how to make a game out of it

Ask someone about their most cherished memory ever and, more often than not, they will tell you it's the birth of a child, the day they've got married, a lavish holiday they took, the day they graduated against all odds, the special celebration night for an award they received, or something else just as memorable.

On the other hand, some people will reply "The next one, the one I didn't create yet" or "Each one, I cherish them all".

[The three most cherished memories could be

from three completely different life areas]

It may seem like an easy thing to ask, and yet replying to such a question can feel daunting, confusing, or even "dangerous": The risk of saying something awkward or not aligned with social expectations is high.