Coaching Monday: Actually, not a big deal

We behave, we talk, and we get stressed & upset as if everything, every day, would always be a big deal.

The truth is, most things are not a big deal at all. Not now, not in five minutes, not in five days, and definitely not in five months, or five years from now.

[Do you want to make a game out of it?

How about finding every day one thing 

that is actually not a big deal?]

Realizing it is quite liberating, both short-term and long-term.

All those things that used to be a big deal in our imagination and are not... can help us get back mental space, energy, time, and attention for the very few things that truly are a big deal.

"What is actually not a big deal?" 

PS. I can start. Last week I was not able to post my Coaching Monday question for technical reasons. Unfortunate, and yet, in the big scheme of things? Actually not a big deal.

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Letting go, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #219. - Your measuring stick for big statements

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Coaching Friday: Your most essential task for today

In (busy) times of endless to-do lists and online availability around the clock, it's easy to feel frustrated and overwhelmed, as if nothing would ever get done and, no matter the hours and the effort, you would always be back right where you started. Or even nowhere near that starting line.

​And yet, this is far from the truth. It's just a matter of perception: We will never be done with every single item on our lists because our lists are constantly evolving, changing, and adapting based on our goals, commitments, needs, and priorities. 

Trying to tick each and every item off our daily lists is just as elusive as trying to hit an invisible moving target. But why should we even try to be "done" once and for all? Is it even possible?

[You can think big for this one... or go for something minimal

and yet useful and dearly important to you]

I prefer the concept of the "most essential task" instead: Each day, at least the most essential task for the day has to be accomplished for me to feel at peace.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #380. - The art of leaving out what is not needed

The English novelist Henry Vincent Yorke (1905-1973), better known as Henry Green, famously said: "The more you leave out, the more you highlight what you leave in."
Difficult to understand for many, particularly during times of affluence and wastefulness, this principle could be also summarized with the popular saying "Less is more".

And indeed, as counterintuitive as it may sound, quite often less is more: more important, more visible, more valuable, more in the spotlight, more remarkable.

[Just think about how to leave out all the rest, 

like in the famous Linkin Park song]

What remains is what's necessary. Far from being interchangeable or superfluous, what is necessary is (or should be) critical and meaningful for each of us.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #269. - Letting go, with some help from...

"Letting go" is something that feels scary or like a bad deal for many people, like we would give away something without getting anything in return.

This way, letting go is seen only as a way to throw stuff or people away, and yet letting go is about finding inner peace and accepting what is without giving up our hopes, dreams, and goals.

[Letting go can become easier and more empowering

when we have a role model to look up to]

Letting go can be associated with decluttering, minimalism, emotional health, mindfulness, resilience.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #216. - The decluttering question to ask on a regular basis

Lifestyle magazines, reality shows, and KonMari aside, there is so much more to decluttering than just throwing away that old jacket that doesn't fit any longer and it has been out of fashion for at least three decades already.

Decluttering is a way of life, and it can be applied not only to interior design, but also to career planning, daily and weekly habits, hobbies, time management overall, work tasks, and relationships.

Therefore, we could ask ourselves on a regular basis whether or not what we are doing - or something we possess, or our interactions with the people around us -  is still serving us, making a difference, aligning with what is important for us in the long run.

[If many areas of your life could use some decluttering

at this very moment, where to start?]

Would we miss it, if it were gone?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #202. - The meaning of doing without

In our modern society, wants and needs get mixed up quite often and what was once a symbol of luxury for the lucky few is now often a commodity taken for granted by many.
Giving up on something is either inconceivable or seen as a failure. 

And yet, each day we have only 24 hours at our disposal and thinking that we can be all, do all, know all is just an illusion.
Therefore we choose, again and again, either in a conscious or in an unconscious way.

 
[It doesn't matter what is essential for others...
It matters what is essential to you, and what isn't]

Each day, there are things (projects, activities, thoughts, ideas, relationships) that fit in our day, and others that don't.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #191. - Actually indispensable

We tend to think that most of what we have is indispensable, that we could not live without it.
And yet, it is enough to be in an extreme situation of any kind to realize that most of what we have is not indispensable, after all.

Not indispensable, unless it is.
Some things are actually indispensable, just like air, water, food, shelter, and some degree of affection.

On top of it, other things are indispensable to some of us, depending on who we are, what we need, what makes us tick, even if they can be absolutely meaningless to others.

[Indispensable just like the air we breathe...
What does belong to this category, for you?]

Knowing those and understanding the why behind it is indispensable as well.

Coaching question of the day:
"What is actually indispensable for you?"                                              

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Something indispensable, Minimalism, Values and needs

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #113. - Your garden à la Voltaire

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #131. - The environment for you - Reprise

For some of us, less is more and a minimalist environment lets us thrive and it also represents peace of mind.
For others, the more chaotic their place is, the merrier.

It doesn't matter if in home-office, at the office, in a factory, or working from a beach as a digital nomad: Our environment has a big impact on our creativity and productivity.

[We can't always decide in which environment 

we are spending our days...

Still, we can learn something from it]

Even if it is not always possible to shape the places where we spend our time just the way we want them to be, discovering what we need, where we are at our best, and which small changes we can do is still valuable, and can give us precious clue about our ability to innovate.

Coaching question of the day:
"In which environment are you at your best?"

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Perfect physical environment, Productivity boost, Creativity boost

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #60. - The environment for you

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Where to start, if you are new

10 German words you probably don't know that can motivate and energize you

As a language, German has a reputation as a difficult, bureaucratic, emotionless, and somehow a little bit boring body of words. That could not be more misleading!

Even if sometimes German words are indeed... quite long and complex, and definitely pretty difficult to be pronounced properly at first, they are also precise, accurate, and very finely nuanced.

Here you have a couple of good examples, thanks to 10 German words that you probably never heard of before and that reflect motivating and useful concepts and attitudes:

#1. Begeisterungsfähigkeit, die f.

enthusiasm, ability to be enthusiastic

#2. Besonderheit, die f.

distinctiveness, peculiarity

#3. Entrümpelung, die f.

clearing out, decluttering

#4. Kultur-Audit, das n.

culture audit, audit of a specific culture

#5. Schaffensrausch, der m.

flow, burst of creativity

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #9. - Feeling at home

Now, more than ever, feeling at home is pivotal.

For ourselves and for others.

Not everyone lives in a cozy and gorgeous apartment.

Not everyone feels very comfortable at home. 

And that's a pity because we can do something about that. It is not about hiring an interior designer and breaking the bank for a big change. Some small tweaks will do.

[Home sweet home?

Home safe home]

Coaching question of the day:

"Which kind of small improvement can you make today, in order to feel more comfortable while staying at home?"

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Stay at home

What to read next:

Why decluttering one's life, one day at the time, could be the most important thing you will ever do - Introduction

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One pivotal mental switch in the way you are thinking about money - Part I

Lately, someone told me that they read somewhere that the difference between poor people and rich people can be spotted thanks to two questions. You are considering a purchase?

Poor people ask themselves: "Can I afford this?".

Rich people ask themselves: "How can I afford this?".

It may be true, to some extent.

Still, a way more important question is missing, in my opinion.

[Besides basic items needed for survival,

the question should not be "How can I afford something?", 

but "What do I want to afford in the first place?"]

As long as we are not talking about something pivotal for surviving (food, water, shelter, and so on), the very first question should be "Is this worth my money, my time, my work?".

More on this on the next posts.

Stay tuned!

Tags: Minimalism, Minimalism life, Minimalist principles, Alternative lifestyle, Money mindset

What to read next:

Why decluttering one's life, one day at the time, could be the most important thing you will ever do - Introduction


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Enough or too much? That's the question, most of the time

While pursuing minimalism as a way of living and thinking, how much is enough?

When exactly is enough... enough?

And when is it too much?

[Not enough color, or too much color?

Image credit: ISO Republic]

Lately, I asked myself this many times, and I realized that, to me, a minimalist way of living is all about finding a good mix between letting go of what I don't need and finding/making place in my life for more of what I want.

It is not a matter of quantity, it is a matter of quality. 

And if what I want comes in a family pack, that's perfectly fine.

"Enough" for me can be "too much" for someone else, and that's perfectly fine too, as long as other people are not trying to force me to accept their own way of measuring things.

Tags: Minimalism, Minimalism life, Minimalist principles, Alternative lifestyle, Enough and too much, Quality over quantity

What to read next:

Why decluttering one's life, one day at the time, could be the most important thing you will ever do - Introduction

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One coaching question a day - #20. Enough?

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Where to start, if you are new

One coaching question a day - #27. What you don't need?

If I would ask you which are the magic "ingredients" necessary for happiness, what would you say? 

What is happiness made of, for you? 

That's an apparently easy question for some people, the ones that would start talk right away about a shinier job to apply for, a bigger car to get a loan for, the trip to three continents to be planned in the coming years, the beach body they would like to train for at some point, the hot partner they don't have yet, the flat in the cool location they saw in some influencer's feed... and so on. 

[Is that thing you are thinking about something you need, 

or just something that could be nice to have?]

That's actually a very difficult question for some other people. Which ones, you may ask?

Short and sweet motivational questions for your self-care #16. Your inner room

Who could have ever thought that modern Western philosophy and Feng Shui could have something in common, thanks to coaching?

Yes, exactly.

Something fascinating about Feng Shui is the concept called "Tsei Wei".

Tsei Wei is the energetic center of a house, that place where the Chi, the universal energy that is constantly present everywhere around us, while moving and changing over time and creating good luck and bad luck, is particularly strong.

Success, health, happiness, and prosperity of a house and their inhabitants are therefore influenced by its Tsei Wei.

[Are cactus plants good or bad, according to Feng Shui?

Image Credit: ISO Republic]

Having a strong Tsei Wei means having a strong core. Having a strong core means per se having strong energy and many possibilities.

What's the point, regarding Western philosophy, you may ask?

Coaching tools for everyday life - Mindfulness, or how LOMO and JOMO can have a positive impact on your life, right now

What should you be missing out on this year? What for?
That's probably a question you were not expecting, above all by a motivational coach, above all during the first week of January, where it is usually all about setting new goals, crafting New Year's resolutions, being productive, leveling up, being on top of your game.
Missing out feels almost icky.

[Hi, nice to e-meet you! I am missing out on a regular basis

and I am quite happy with it. How about you?

Pic: Me, December 2018 © Radoslaw Kosiada]

And yet... What if missing out could actually be the best tool at your disposal, in order to achieve what you want, to live the kind of life you are hoping for, and to discover a new meaning in your day-by-day activities? What if embracing LOMO could be life-changing to you?

A different take on how these holidays can help you change your life over time? 10 posts for you - Part #2.

What do you want to remember these holidays for?
Which hopes, dreams, goals, and desires are connected to them, in your mind, and what would help you while going all in for them, day by day?

As a small present from me, here you can find Part #2. of list of 10 posts from the blog that can help you change your life over time, embrace a new mindset, switch gears and learn how to love all the baby steps that are necessary for achieving something big, where "big" means "something big for you", in whatever shape and form this can be.

[Looking for something special?

Check the following five articles out.

Pic: Me, December 2018 © Radoslaw Kosiada]

Below you have the second five posts. Enjoy and check Part #1. out as well!

A different take on how these holidays can help you change your life over time? 10 posts for you - Part #1.

You don't have to go as far as Kate Beringer (Phoebe Cates) in Joe Dante's Gremlins for not liking Christmas and Christmas presents. Before this powerful reframing, I was not that much into Christmas as well, to use a big understatement.

[What's the perfect book to give as a present? *

Wait, I have a different idea...

Pic: Me, December 2018 © Radoslaw Kosiada]

Now, while seeing Christmas as a wonderful chance to make a difference and to give back, even better if in a meaningful and minimalistic way, I prepared for you a list of 10 posts from the blog that can help you change your life over time, embrace a new mindset, switch gears and learn how to love all the baby steps that are necessary for achieving something big, where "big" means "something big for you", in whatever shape and form this can be.

Here you have the first five posts. Enjoy and stay tuned for Part #2. of the list!

The problem you don't have (even if you think you do), and the one you actually have instead

Changing your life has a lot in common with decluttering.
(BOOOM!, I know)

Decluttering, it doesn't matter of which kind of decluttering we are talking about, sucks. At first.

It feels stressful and terrible and messy and all over the place, until... until it feels great and right and rewarding and meaningful.

If you can keep going and slowly but surely make a daily practice and a way of life out of it, that's it - while decluttering your physical space one day at the time as a part of your daily routine, you are actually not going to need any decluttering ever again.

[Where are your life choices leading you?

Close to a safe and quiet place without clutter, or...?

Image credit: ISO Republic]

With your clutter, the problem is never the clutter.

The sexiness of the long haul, even when other people think that having plans is not sexy

Sometimes, peace can look like a blank space.

One of those spaces in between words, or parts of a sentence. In between phases of your life as well. 

After the end of something, and before something else will actually start.
And while knowing in which direction you are moving, even if you are ready to embrace serendipity, once more.

While paying me a beautiful and very thoughtful compliment, a friend of mine told me a couple of weeks ago: "If I should describe you,  I would say that you are someone with a plan. That you know what you are doing, where you are going and how to get there. Even if life circumstances should not be optimal and get in your way in the short term, I would not be worried about you, because I know that you are able to take care of yourself".

[A blank space in between

can be so peaceful and serendipitous, sometimes]

While listening to him, I just melt.

Because I felt seen and appreciated.
And I felt that his compliment was sincere and not just another left-handed one.

Why decluttering one's life, one day at the time, could be the most important thing you will ever do - Part 3. Emotional minimalism

Do you know the difference between speed and velocity?

How fast are you going through life and changes, and which one is your personal velocity?

Last but not least, who is dictating the pace of all this and what is non-negotiable to you?

US columnist, speaker and business writer Dale Dauten, author - among others books - of The Max Strategy (1996), The Gifted Boss (1999), Better Than Perfect (2006) and Mandatory Greatness (2013), famously said:

A meeting moves at the speed of the slowest mind in the room.

[The famous railway Tunnel of Love,

located between Klevan and Orzhiv (Ukraine)]

This is true for meetings, lessons, classes, workshops and any kind of social situations where you have different people spending time and sharing experiences together and therefore generating some kind of group dynamics.
This is true in your private life as well.