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I am a localization manager/translator and intercultural consultant living in Berlin (Germany), passionate about languages, cultures, diversity management, dancing and good movies.  

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Monday, October 1, 2012

Why you should forget "If", if you love someone

Very often we make a mistake: we decide how other people should act - "if."
If they really loved us.
If they really took care of us.
If they were really respectful, caring, intelligent, sensible, or... just (insert adjective here).

But this is actually how we would act, yet another person can see the whole story in a very different light and consider our behaviour not caring or intelligent or sensible at all.

We should focus on ourselves.
Instead of thinking "if he/she is acting like this, then this means that...", we should ask us "Why I am upset/sad/disappointed/angry if he/she is acting like this?".

Very often the "problem" is not someone else's behaviour.
The problem is that someone else is not acting how we would do or how we expect someone else should.
The problem is our expectations about this someone else.

Can we just forget it and keep loving the person anyway, just for what he/she is?
Are we ready to be loved for what we are, as well?

Tags: If, Love, Acceptance, Expectations

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