Coaching Monday: The reality check question

Today's weekly question may seem too easy. Or too difficult to answer.
I strongly believe that we should ask ourselves this question more often, quite regularly, as a useful and humbling reality check.

[Write down today's answer to this question, 

and then ask yourself the same question in a week.

Comparing both answers may surprise you]

No matter when you last asked (yourself and/or others) this question, today is a good day to ask it again.

"What's next?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Reality check

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #161. - Turning off your autopilot

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Coaching Monday: Your happy tune for rainy days

There are good days and, sometimes, not-so-good days.

It's important to enjoy and be thankful for the good ones and practice resilience, self-care, and emotional intelligence during the not-so-good ones. Like with everything else, it may take some time and practice to get there.

We can always do our best to make the most of a not-so-good day. There's always room for improvement and a not-so-good day can become a good one, after all.

One of the first rules, at least for me, is knowing what I need to feel better, improve my mood, and keep calm even if not everything is going as planned.

Listening to music is incredibly powerful and yet still undervalued, even if we do it all the time.

When I don't feel well, I know that many songs will flip my mood within seconds of listening to them, and those are the ones I call my "happy tunes for rainy days".

[A good example? For me, for sure

"Steal My Sunshine" by Len]

Having some of them always handy, if needed, is for me a sure way to give my not-so-good days a fair chance to become a good one. How about you?

"What is your happy tune for rainy days?" 

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Happy tunes for rainy days, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #323. - The soundtrack of your days

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Coaching Monday: Your next new beginning

One of my absolute favorite songs from the 90s, Semisonic's "Closing Time", says it all (while quoting the Stoic philosopher Seneca in the process): "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
New beginnings are about letting go, moving on, and embracing change.

A new beginning can mean anything and represent very different things to different people, be huge or incredibly small and yet still meaningful, change lives or just give someone the courage to keep going, one step at a time.
          

[It can be something so tiny and "basic" that nobody else but you

would consider it a new beginning, but it doesn't matter,

as long as it is YOUR new beginning]

If you think about your present and your immediate future, what is the next new beginning you are excited about, and why?
"What's the next new beginning in store for you?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Closing Time, New beginnings, Dealing with change

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #344. - A fresh start, your way

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Expanding our comfort zone, one "good" book at a time

More often than not, in order to be "good", a book has to be also a little bit challenging.

This way, thanks to good books we get a chance to grow, change our minds, discover new ideas, and leave our comfort zone... to some extent.        

[Even just a single interesting concept

can make a book worth reading]

Not every challenge has to be dramatic, bigger than life, or exhausting: broadening our horizons and expanding our comfort zones is a very good challenge already. One book at a time.

Which book is a good challenge for you right now?                                              

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Personal growth

What to read next:

The other most important element of the growth formula, or where the magic actually happens 

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The tango of every meaningful connection

It takes two to tango, they say.
It also takes two to have a productive, respectful, and meaningful connection.
And even if sometimes we like to think so, having only one person working like crazy to make a connection/relationship work and to compensate for the lack of interest of the counterpart is a recipe for disaster. 

[Building a meaningful connection is like dancing...

More elements than you would think are involved]

Meaningful connections and healthy relationships are made out of commitment, self-awareness, and teamwork. 
                                                              

Tags: Coaching ideas, Self-awareness, Healthy relationships, Meaningful connections

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #88. - Your many accountability buddies

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A different name for creative excuses: The "All or nothing" mindset

We are often great at making excuses, creating elaborate narratives about why we cannot do something, or at procrastinating like a pro.

Reality is of course more nuanced than that and it may be that in some areas of our lives we are actually bold, daring, and fearless, but something is almost always true: If we don't try, the answer is always NO.

[Taking a risk, above all an informed risk,

could be transformational. 

Where can you just risk a little bit more?]

So how about trying out something, for a change, instead of waiting for everything to be perfect before we can make our next move?                                     

Tags: Coaching ideas, Self-awareness, Self-empowerment, Motivation

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #415. - Whatever the risk

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #419. - Something worth a good cry

Another way to formulate this question could have been "What is important enough for you to move you to tears?".

The answer may vary, of course, and the range of emotions that could make us cry is also quite vast.

Some of us cry out of joy or happiness, others out of anger or frustration, and sometimes we just cry out of relief.

In one way or another... thinking about what touched us deeply lately is always worth some time and self-introspection.

[What has been so intense lately

to move you to tears for whatever reason?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"What did make you cry lately?"               

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Being vulnerable, Dealing with emotions, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #159. - Rethinking what crying is for

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #418. - There's no going back, and that's a good thing

For many people, "There's no going back" often sounds quite menacing and gloomy.

Something that "final" and conclusive has to be bad and scary... It has to be about something we are losing for good, right?

Sometimes, it is. Other times, it's actually a great opportunity and a gift: In those cases, it's all about what we are actually letting go of.

What if you would be sure that there's no going back to health problems, toxic relationships, unfulfilling work, and harmful habits?

[Let's see... Living in the past, plenty of baggage,
lack of sleep, among other things. How about you?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"For what in your life there's no going back?"                   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, No going back, Change of perspective, Life chapters, Long-lasting change, Growth mindset, Letting go

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #392. - Choosing progress

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #417. - Your own personal lead balloon

"To go down like a lead balloon" is not only a quite funny idiomatic expression but also a very effective metaphor.

And... it is definitely revealing.

What do we like, dislike, find cringeworthy, or impossible to accept?

Can we recognize some kind of pattern or rule of thumb for ourselves?

[It may look just like some sort of silly visual image,

and yet it contains a pretty powerful question]

Coaching question of the day: 

"What does usually go down with you like a lead balloon?"                  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, English idioms, Likes and dislikes, Metaphors

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #359. - A new comparison

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #416. - Questions about heroes are like Matryoshka dolls

Today's question is one of my favorite questions at all, and yet it is also quite tricky.

Who and what is a hero, after all?

There's no right and wrong answer. A hero is perceived as such (by themselves and others, and the opinions may differ...) depending on the circumstances, the Zeitgeist, and many other factors as well.

True that, sure.

[Who can be seen as a hero, in your opinion?
This question is like a Matryoshka doll

for countless further questions...]

But what about us?

What does each of us consider relevant for being a hero?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #415. - Whatever the risk

Taking a risk is not about how big the risk is, but about how we feel:

How we feel about taking a risk overall, and how we feel about ourselves after taking a risk.

In the big scheme of things, sometimes taking a risk is a good decision, other times not so much.

At the same time, it's almost always a good thing to look back and realize we have been brave and took a risk.

Even when it didn't pan out in the end.

["Taking a risk" can mean anything.
As soon as you are out of your comfort zone,
you are taking a risk]

Coaching question of the day: 

"When was the last time you took a risk?"                

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Taking a risk, Resilience, Self-efficacy

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #235. - The next risk worth taking

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #414. - And invisible, and yet priceless gift

Growth is important, learning is important, self-development is important. True, true, true.

And yet we often forget something: Having fun, laughing, and having a good time is just as important.

The people in our lives that are fun to talk to and help us smile even during difficult times are among the most necessary people in our lives.

Even if we forget it sometimes (or most of the time).

[This is indeed one of those cases where
"The more, the merrier" applies]

Those people add value to our lives, a kind of value that is not always visible, and yet it is absolutely real and priceless.

Today's coaching question is an invitation to think of them, be thankful for them, and give them a call.

Coaching question of the day: 

"Who in your life is fun to talk to?" 

                                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Sense of humor, Emotional intelligence, Positive relationships, Resilience

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #18. - A good laugh

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #413. - The movie to star in...

Not every coaching question has to be incredibly serious in order to be effective, or useful.

The most playful questions are quite often also the most effective ones. Why?

Because we are not afraid to say something wrong, since there are no right and wrong answers.

Because the stakes are low and we can be quirky, fun, and a little bit more personal than usual.

[My answer? Well, for sure almost everything

with Doris Day and Audrey Hepburn!

And what about you?]

Today's question is a perfect example. Enjoy, and pick up your top three choices.

Coaching question of the day: 

"If you could star in an old movie, which one would you pick?"               

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Movie choices

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #136. - The movie to watch again and again

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #412. - Interesting, but not your responsibility

What's the hottest mantra everyone has been talking about for a very long time?

Taking responsibility for our actions, ideas, and emotions, which is for sure quite important and empowering.

And yet being able to set (healthy) boundaries, recognize what is not our responsibility, and, if necessary, speak up about it is just as important and empowering.

[Take a deep breath and repeat after me: 

"Not everything happening on this planet is my responsibility"]

Pick your battles, they say.

They should also be talking about picking your responsibilities, or the ability to say NO and keep other people accountable for their own responsibilities, instead of trying to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

Sometimes, saying NO is the most responsible thing to do.

Coaching question of the day: 

"What is not your responsibility?"              

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Taking responsibility, Setting boundaries, Saying NO, Mindfulness

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #330. - Our responsibility on bad days 

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #411. - A surprising piece of information

Every single day, we are exposed to every kind of information.

Among this huge amount of new information available to us, only a tiny fraction of it is quite useful.

Plenty of it is not particularly interesting or helpful, and some (most?) of it is just junk.

The magic lies in knowing what to listen to, in recognizing what is actually valuable, and in being open to being surprised, amused, motivated, changed, and touched by it.

[What has been different for you today

after being exposed to that specific piece of information?]

How is it going for you?

Coaching question of the day: 

"Which piece of information did surprise you today?"                  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Dealing with new information, Growth mindset, Information management

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #240. - The best piece of advice for you

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #410. - The unexpected secret asset while setting priorities

Setting priorities that serve us and help us go where we want to go is fundamental, sure thing.

And just as fundamental is being agile and resilient enough to change those very same priorities if we need to adapt them to new options, circumstances, and ideas.

Good priorities don't have to be set in stone, even if it's useful sometimes.

Other times, being flexible is the best way to keep our priorities relevant.

[And even more important...
How flexible have you been in the process?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"How did your priorities change lately, if at all?"                  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Setting priorities, Time management, Life design, Change of priorities, Flexibility

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #342. - Your main priority for this year

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #409. - There's no magical spring of motivation

For many people, motivation is something fascinating and desirable.
And yet somehow mysterious. Even elusive.

They seem to be looking for the magical spring of motivation, where unmotivated people can take a foot bath once in a while and become suddenly motivated until a further bath will be needed...

People often talk about "finding motivation", as if motivation would be somewhere out there, hidden in special places and just waiting to be "found", in order to do its trick for us.

[That may be different for each of us, and that's okay.

The secret is discovering what works for you]

Motivation is not found, it is built. Every single day, thanks to small, repeated actions, and self-discipline.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #408. - Every shade of unpredictability

If there is one thing the last year taught (or better said... reminded) us, is that life is not as predictable as we tend to imagine.

And, even more, not as predictable as we would like it to be.

The same may be true for each of us.

We are all, to some extent and depending on the circumstances, less predictable than others (and ourselves) would expect us to be.

[Every shade between "Nowhere" and "Everywhere" 

is a good option, as long as you are happy with it]

Where exactly? How? In which situations? Alone or with others? How does it feel? Too much? Or it should be more?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #407. - On a journey, in good company

The journey matters, sure thing.

But it also matters who is sharing the journey with you.

If you think about who should be on a journey with you, what do you think of?

What would they bring to the table and what could make the interaction valuable for both sides?

[True fans, reliable accountability buddies, good friends,

honest experts, like-minded partners...]

Coaching question of the day:

"Who should be on a journey with you?"                          

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Healthy relationships, Emotional intelligence, Growth mindset

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #406. - "Delightful" as a state of mind

"Delightful" is a state of mind.

It means we are able to look around, pay attention, and ask ourselves, on a daily basis, what could be delightful. 

"Delightful" is a state of mind, even during difficult times. 

Probably even more during difficult times.

[We can make a habit of finding something delightful

every day, even on bad days]

We can either focus only on what's going terribly wrong, or we can choose to keep noticing instead all the small things that are, even in difficult times, still delightful.