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I am a localization manager/translator and intercultural consultant living in Berlin (Germany), passionate about languages, cultures, diversity management, body art, dancing, self-empowerment, coaching, effective communication and, last but not least, vegan gluten-free food and good movies.

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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

What does it mean to love someone? Orson Welles was used to saying...

What does it mean to love someone? 

Does it mean to be fond of someone? To help someone? To stand by someone in hard times? To desire someone? To need someone? To let someone in peace even if we don't feel like it?

Does it mean to wish someone the best for them, even if we have to sacrifice ourselves in the process? To share your opinion with them as a disinterested party? Or just to embrace someone as they are, without trying to change what we don't like about them? 

Often we are not really in love with someone. 

[A big and unlucky love story, in real-life as on screen:
Orson Welles and Rita Hayworth 
in The Lady from Shanghai (1947) by Orson Welles]

We are in love with the idea of someone instead.
With the idea about how our life together with this person could be, if only they could be how we would love them to be, for us and with us. If only they would love us how we want to be loved. If only they could give us what we want to get.

What would happen, if we would be ready to accept what the person is able to give us, even if this is not what we would love to have? Maybe true love is just like that?

I don't remember if it was Orson Welles or Marlon Brando, who stated in an interview ages ago, that deeply embracing someone, with his good and his bad sides, is possibly the only true kind of love. It works for love, friendship, working relationships, Orson said. Or maybe it was Marlon...

I am not wondering if it's easy or not. I know that isn't and that it often is very difficult instead, if not almost impossible.
I am rather wondering: is it worth the effort? Is it worth the effort, loving someone even while knowing that this person is never going to be able to give us what we need and what we desire?

What if what we get from someone we love, would not be enough?
Is it possible to choose to not love someone?

Tags: Love, Total acceptance, Letting go, Orson Welles, Marlon Brando

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