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Me, Myself & I

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Localization manager/translator and coach/intercultural consultant living in Berlin (Germany), passionate about diversity management and intercultural communication, self-awareness and coaching, SFBT and NVC, languages, cultures, body art, dancing, self-empowerment, and, last but not least, vegan gluten-free keto food and good movies.

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A Lot Like Purple is my personal blog.
I'm the only person responsible for its content and the views and opinions expressed here are solely mines.
What I write doesn't represent my clients or any other group, organization or agency.

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Sunday, January 7, 2018

The misunderstanding to avoid for not becoming a prisoner of the past, or why forgiveness is the best thing you should try this year

Congratulations, you survived the holidays and the first week of the new year!

No kidding: I am very proud of you.
The first week of the year can be very stressful, and we both know that during this time of the year people around you expect you to turn your life around like magic, take control over whatever problem you could have had the previous year and make yet another round of notorious - and often frowned up - New Year's resolutions... that for most people last... a couple of days only or in the best cases up to a couple of weeks.
So you still have another week to go!

New Year's resolutions and jokes aside, what do you want to have, think, feel, experience, learn and enjoy this year?
What do you want to do and to achieve with your precious time? And what do you want to let go?

Time, focus and energy are somehow limited resources.
Knowing where you want to allocate them and what you want to use them for, and therefore also knowing which battles you should pick and when you should just let go, is what will slowly but surely shape your year, one day at the time.

[What do you want to look at, in life?
Where do you want your focus and energy to go?

Pic: Me, November 2017 
at Berlin's street art museum
Urban Nation © Radoslaw Kosiada]

Seriously! And eventually. And definitely way more than losing those insidious twenty pounds, quitting smoking or going green.

Not everybody agrees with me and some people say that you should *never* let go, that the past will always follow you and determine who you are and that, if someone wronged you, revenge is a dish best served cold. Good for them, if they want to spend their life like this.

If you ask me, the best revenge is... to forgive, to turn the page, to move on and to live the best life you can.

And, in order to avoid an important misunderstanding here:
Turning the page doesn't mean turning the other cheek.
And forgiving doesn't mean forgetting.

Forgiving someone that failed you or mistreated you or hurt you doesn't mean forgetting what they did. It means that you have been able and willing to forgive how they treated you or how something they said or did made you feel, and to move on.

How they treated you is way more about them than about you.
Turning the page and starting anew is way more about you than about them.

"But", I hear you saying, "how about my revenge?"

And I am going to ask you... 
In the end, what do you need a revenge for?

Is your revenge worth living in pain, looking back in anger, carrying with you negative thoughts 24/7 no matter where you are going, re-playing and recalling the bad moments in your head again and again, holding a toxic grudge and letting other people's behavior undermine your happiness and perception of self-worth?

[Do you want to go for revenge or...
for yumminess?
I don't know about you,
but I will go for yumminess every single time]

While doing all those things (and many more similar things I didn't write down, because you don't need my help for remembering those), you will punish one and one person only: yourself.

Instead of determining how you want to shape and design your life, you would be a prisoner of the past and of what people did to you or how they made you feel.
You would carry with you harmful thoughts and a poisonous attitude and keep in your life people, situations, thoughts, sentences and all kind of wrongdoing that should have no place in your life in the first place.

Or, if you can't remove them completely, they should have a very small and restricted one.
The one that you choose to assign them, while redirecting your main focus and energy towards goals, ideas, thoughts, behaviors, people, and situations that will serve you better, help you improve the quality of your life and enhance your success. 

Frank Sinatra, who knew a thing or two about being successful, would agree with me:

[Frankie was not called 'The Voice' just because:
let Frank Sinatra be the voice of your consciousness
and remember that the best revenge is
massive success]

Do you want to have a fresh start and to take advantage of all these new days that are lying right in front of you, waiting for you to make the most out of them?
Forgive the past, move on with your life, turn the page and not the other cheek, switch your focus towards something positive and, last but not least...  have fun at the party!

Tags: New Year's resolutions, Attitude, Revenge, Quotes, Self-empowerment, Self-awareness, Forgiveness

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