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I am a localization manager/translator and intercultural consultant living in Berlin (Germany), passionate about languages, cultures, diversity management, body art, dancing, self-empowerment, coaching, effective communication and, last but not least, vegan gluten-free food and good movies.

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Sunday, August 6, 2017

The very simple method for discovering if you are dealing with boring and uncool people

How do you know if you are dealing with boring and/or uncool people?
There's a very simple method for this.
And it is all about... listening.

Bear with me on this one.
I am pretty sure you know those annoying rhetorical questions & assumptions as well.
In the middle of a conversation, out of nowhere or in the attempt to assert one's coolness or smartness or expertise about something, you could hear stuff like:

"But if you would understand how to deal with someone in a relationship... this would be boring, don't you think?".
"But if one should have only tattoos from the same tattoo artist... this would be boring, right?".
"But if one could know what the other person means... this would be boring!".

[Instead of trying to be like Joe Cool,
No pun intended, Joe Cool. You are really cool]

Well, I never considered this before. Just let me think...
Hell, no. No way. Like, not even in one hundred years, sir.

Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect, empathy, shared values, and the willingness from both sides to find common ground, to compromise and to be on the same page about important stuff. 
Your own heart should not be the lab where people that don't know what they want and what they are looking for in life can play the mad scientist and test how does it feel to be in a relationship, just because something different would be boring.

[The only kind of lab that can be funny in a relationship:
Professor Julius F. Kelp/Buddy Love/Baby Kelp's lab in
The Nutty Professor (1963) by Jerry Lewis]

Finding a good tattoo artist is as difficult as finding a soul mate: if you are serious about tattoos and you have a clue about quality and what does it mean to display something on your skin for decades, when you find a good tattoo artist, you keep him/her and you don't care if there are thousand other tattoo artists out there. 
Your own skin should not be the playground where people can have a shot at showing you at your own risk if they have tattooing skills or not, just because it was a funny idea for about five minutes and playing it safe with the largest of your organs would be boring.

Every kind of good communication is consistent, transparent and congruent communication. And this should be even more the aim while practicing intercultural communication.

The shared goal of good communication is to make it easy for both actors to interact with each other, exchange information and possibly enjoy themselves in the process. If most of the time the people you deal with don't follow up on what they say or they say something and do something else afterward or let you puzzled and confused about what they actually said or you feel bad after the interaction... you got a big problem, sir.

Your own time and energy should not be a wasted present handed over to people not interested in taking good care of it, just because being someone that walks the talk could be boring.

Something I had a chance to notice over and over again over the years is...
Only boring people with a boring life are afraid that doing this or that could be boring.
Exactly like only uncool people are constantly worried about how to be cool and wondering if they are cool enough at any given time.
Interesting people are too busy while living an interesting life, for bothering about this.
Real cool people are too busy being cool for bothering about this as well.

[Not boring at all, and yet so boooooooring!
Charles Gray as the Criminologist narrator 
from The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) by Jim Sharman
in a funny Internet meme]

I don't know about you, but the only place where I like to hear "booooooring" being shouted out loud is at the theater, where everybody - me included - is destroying the Criminologist narrator of 'The Rocky Horror Show' every single time he tries to speak. 
And he kind of waits for it and can play with us, while replying with absolutely funny jokes, having an amazing time and doing the time warp, again.

Tags: Human interactions, Communication, Being boring, Coolness, Tattoos, The Rocky Horror Show

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