Singleness made in Berlin - #8. You spent too many years flirting in German, when... - Reprise, Feat. the auto-pilot mode about tattoo questions

"Is the purple tattoo on your left arm a new one?" he asks, while I am not looking at him, absolutely absorbed in reading the menu and looking for something to eat that could be keto-friendly.

I look up, a little bit puzzled. Our eyes meet.

I have been knowing him for over two years, now. It's quite strange that he never noticed that one.

Still, since I am absolutely used to any kind of questions about my tattoos, I roll up the sleeve of my black blouse a little bit more, I show him the full purple tattoo he is referring to.

[So many tattoos ago, so many haircuts ago...

That's me, ladies & gents, in 2016.

Can you spot the big purple tattoo on my left arm?]

And here we are: I explain that nope, it is a very old one, only purple ink and no black lines, I've got it myself when I completed my magister degree in cinema history and yada yada yada.

Auto-pilot mode about tattoo questions, welcome at the dinner table, just take a seat and enjoy the evening with us, wouldn't you? What can I order you? Some bananas, maybe?

"Born This Way" also means "Living This Way", and paying the price for it - In memoriam for Zombie Boy [1985-2018] - Part I

"With such beautiful tattoos, I understand that it is a pity to hide them with those stockings" the doctor said today in the morning, while visiting me because of a terrible pain on my feet that it's making it impossible for me to walk, and referring to special stockings that can be needed in such cases. 

He wants to be nice, and he probably thinks that his words are friendly and charming. And maybe even a little bit flirty, in a fun way.

So I keep my cool, look at him with a firm smile and reply: "Well, this is not about my tattoos, it is about me not being able to walk because of the pain. I just want the pain in my feet to stop". 

After the medication, I go home with a huge white bandage that covers half of a leg and a foot. As I can walk without pain, for the first time in three days, I really don't care about the people staring at me.

[Zombie Boy posing as a polarizer that draws 

so much attention while traveling on the subway 

and minding his own business, 2016

It feels so familiar to me...]

If people are used to staring at me wherever I go, well...

Today they do that even more, and they have the "excuse" of the bandage. Some smile, some look perplexed, some seem to be dying for asking some questions. I just want to go home and take care of my feet.

While hearing about the unexpected death of Canadian model and actor Rick Genest, better known as Zombie Boy or Rico the Zombie, found dead two days ago in Montréal at the age of 32 after (apparently) committing suicide, I have to think again about what happened this morning. 

The mindset you need, when you are a polarizer, and a very special kind of smile that can make your day

Sometimes, being who you are, being authentic, feels risky.

It can feel like being exposed, too vulnerable, even like an open target... or a little bit naked.

Hiding could seem the perfect solution for that, and yet I had to experience, day in and day out, that pushing even harder and being, even more, yourself and showing it to the world is the only solution that will make you happy in the long run.

You have been given a gift. Please stop squandering it.

Naomi Dunford, Click, Clack, Moo: Why You MUST Stop Dumbing Yourself Down

You are different, you say?

Congratulations, honey. Welcome to the club. It's time to start enjoying your superpowers.

On Wednesday, it happened to me three times. 

And I smiled every single one. (Ahoi Wednes-yay for that!)

How? You may ask.

Let's take a step back.

[Let's take a step back, 

with my gorgeous purple flat ballerinas

made in Italy (RIP, lovely shoes)]

I am a polarizer, ladies and gents.

Which means that I am used to the good, the bad and the ugly of being at the center of attention wherever I go, whatever I do.

While going around in summer with short dresses and flip-flops or flat ballerinas, I am used to the fact that the vast majority of people of any age would behave in one of these ways:

Typically "Berlin style" is... #3. The hipsters war about tattoos

Berlin, just like London and probably New York, Los Angeles, Tel Aviv and a couple of other places in the whole world, is one of those big cities where you don't really pay attention to tattooed people, at least not until you meet heavily tattooed ones, since a good percentage of young people display some kind of (often very bad) tattoos.

Usually, the Rihanna type of tattoos or some newbie / hipster tattoo. The cheaper, the better. Old school and new school tattoos made by friends from friends that are just learning how to tattoo exactly now? Here we are!

And, at least in Berlin, it is fascinating to observe what happens, from a human dynamics point of view, as soon as young hipsters, that go around barely covered even in winter, in order to show their tattoos to everyone at any time, stumble upon someone with more or better tattoos than them.

[Flip flops and naked feet while walking around?

To be honest, I never thought that I would do that again,

and yet here we are, because...

never say never]

It is definitely more fascinating than watching Discovery Channel.

And I am not kidding.

"What are your KPIs for a good bar?", or five questions I get asked a lot on a daily basis and five questions (almost) nobody asks

Do you know a good bar? They ask.

And I go "Well, it depends. What's a good bar, for you?".

And they go "Where we can find good cocktails".

Ah, if just everything in life would be that simple.

A clear question, clear parameters, a clear answer follows, KPIs are fulfilled. Happy ending.

[A good bar? The one with good cocktails, they say.

My favorite one? Café Morgenrot's Heilige Welt:

Alcohol-free and incredibly sweeeeeet

Image credit: Bustle]

Still, I smile going home, while realizing that I get asked this question almost every single day, even if don't drink alcohol at all. And yet, to most people, I probably look like the kind of gal that goes for shots every single night. (Hint, I never did... but may the force of stereotypes be with you, young Skywalker)

So here you have the five questions I get asked the most, day in and day out, in no particular order:

#1. Do you know a good bar? ("Yes, I do") - (Did I get asked yesterday? Check)

#2. Do you have a cigarette? ("Nope, sorry. I don't smoke" - And nobody believes me) (Did I get asked yesterday? Check)

#3. Where can I find some drugs? ("No idea, sorry" - The same as above)

#4. Where are you from? ("What do you need this information for, right now?" - Puzzled looks follow) (Did I get asked yesterday? Check)

#5. Are your tattoos real? ("Yep, they are") (Did I get asked yesterday? Check)

4/5 within 24 hours is a good ratio, if you ask me.
And here you have five question I almost never get asked and I would love to help people with, in no particular order:

Why decluttering one's life, one day at the time, could be the most important thing you will ever do - Part 2. Minimalist living - How this shapes my life every day (#7.-8.)

Have you ever met a person that truly likes Mondays?
Yes, me neither.

In order to make this Monday more enjoyable for you and for me, today I am following up with the last post of the Minimalism series about the elements that define what minimalist living is for me.

After long-term shopping, meaningful spending, decluttering, downsizing, clean eating and honesty about wants and needs, here you can find the last pieces of my personal "minimalist living" system:

#7. Pursuing only goals that are meaningful to me. 
More on this one in the post related to emotional minimalism, but as a short sneak peek: instead of aspiring to be or to become the person that others want me or even worse expect me to be, I chose to be and to become the person that I want to be.

[This is my wallpaper at work 
so that I can have a chance 

to read this quote on a daily basis:

"What you get by achieving your goals 
is not as important

as what you become by achieving your goals".

It is sometimes attributed to Goethe 
or Henry David Thoreau,

I know it as a quote by Zig Ziglar]

In order to achieve this and to live by this commitment to myself, I pursue only goals that are meaningful to me, even if most people would never get why or what for I do what I do or behave like I behave.
An example: getting to the point of having 66% of my body being tattooed before turning 41.

Sneak peek of my interview about being a localization manager, or why diversity is a new buzzword for something as old as humankind

How does the life of a localization manager look like?
While asking this question, most people expect me to talk about source languages and target languages and pivot languages and translation KPIs and ISO 9000 quality management systems standards and TMs and glossaries and workflow optimization and... the endless stream of industry-specific lingo could go on and on.

All those things are for sure very important, and yet, at least to me, being a (good) localization manager is above all about self-awareness, stellar and consistent communication, self-control, diversity management and valuable relationships.

A relationship, every kind of relationship (romantic partnership, professional partnership, family relationship, friendship, being colleagues, neighborhood relationship, you name it), can be pleasant, happy, rewarding, quiet, funny, encouraging.
Or challenging, difficult, painful, disappointing, frustrating.

In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.

Tenzin Gyatso, born Lhamo Thondup

better known as the 14th Dalai Lama

A relationship can actually be also merely boring, ordinary, not interesting at all. Or it can be all these things and more, depending on the days, your mood, the circumstances, your attitude.

Still, what matters is how you deal with the relationships, both in your private life and at work.

[Pics: Me, October 2017 -  With my naturally curly hair...
after five years, they are back.

© Radoslaw Kosiada]

Last week I got interviewed for Plinga's blog series "Heroes at Plinga".
It has been a fun one, and I had a chance to talk about diversity, work-life balance, servant leadership and more.

​Three annoying things people do while dealing with tattooed people and what this has to do with you

"This one is just so beautiful and colorful. It is different from everything I saw so far..."

And here we are again...

What would you expect from someone you just met during a workshop one hour ago and exchanged only a couple of sentences with, and out of politeness only?

That he would insistently caress your whole arm from shoulder to the wrist while slowly lingering and touching your naked skin again and again, right?

I hope for you that this is not the case and that sounds more like science fiction to you. And yet, this is, unfortunately, something that happens to me almost on a daily basis. With men. And with women.
Age, gender, and nationality don't really play a role here. They just do it and go with the flow, while finding me and my tattoos just as fascinating as they would do with an exotic animal at the zoo.

[Yes, they are my arms. And yes, they are real.

And no, you can't touch them.

Pic: Me, August 2016 © Radoslaw Kosiada]

This is a perfect example of three annoying things people do while dealing with tattooed people.

Maybe you share 50% of your DNA with a banana, or maybe not. In any case, you should probably reconsider your assumptions about percentage, tattoos and "innocent" questions

Would you ever go to someone you either don't know or don't know that well and, while doing small-talk, ask them with no particular goal in sight if they got their hairstyle, hair color, makeup, or manicure by chance?

Their clothes? Their shoes? Their jewelry? Their glasses maybe?

Probably, you would not be that person. Instead, you would be aware of the fact that it could sound like verbal aggression or like you are questioning their choices, their taste, their discernment, their ability to make a decision and to think about the consequences and the impact of their actions.

Not exactly the perfect icebreaker with a stranger, if you ask me.

But I don't want to rush things here.
So let's start... with a banana instead.

[Gustav Klimt's The Kiss (Lovers) 

as a banana art piece by Stephan Brusche]

According to many scientific studies and countless Internet memes of the last fifteen years, we as human beings share between 50% and 60% of our genetic patrimony with bananas.

Yes, bananas. Those yummy yellow sugary things.

And yet, we aren't bananas, even if we can go bananas.

One of the most important steps to take for learning what diversity and cultural sensitivity are all about, Feat. unicorn-like-patterns and tattooed legs

How do you know how does it feel to be a unicorn?
How do you know how does it feel to come from Mars?
How do you know how does it feel to be like Benjamin Button?

Well, you probably don't know how it feels.
And you also don't pretend to know it. (Or this is what I hope for you. Just saying.)

[Being like Benjamin Button:

Analeigh Tipton as Megan 

in the romantic comedy Two Night Stand (2014)

doesn't mean it that way]

Among the aspects of human dynamics that I will always consider fascinating, there is for sure the certainty that most people belonging to some kind of majority display while talking about how does it feel being part of a minority they are not part of. 

They are not part of that minority but hey!, they know very well how it feels anyway and they have a strong opinion about it, sometimes even stronger than the people that are actually part of that minority.

A classical example?

The very simple method for discovering if you are dealing with boring and uncool people

How do you know if you are dealing with boring and/or uncool people?

There's a very simple method for this.

And it is all about... listening.

Bear with me on this one.

I am pretty sure you know those annoying rhetorical questions & assumptions as well.

In the middle of a conversation, out of nowhere or in the attempt to assert one's coolness or smartness or expertise about something, you could hear stuff like:

"But if you would understand how to deal with someone in a relationship... this would be boring, don't you think?".

"But if one should have only tattoos from the same tattoo artist... this would be boring, right?".

"But if one could know what the other person means... this would be boring!".

[Instead of trying to be like Joe Cool,

how about being the best version of yourself?

No pun intended, Joe Cool. You are really cool]

Well, I never considered this before. Just let me think...

Hell, no. No way. Like, not even in one hundred years, sir.

Why one should go all in, while being heavily tattooed, and the kind of questions about tattoos that are pure gold

From a technical and medical point of view, tattoos are... scars.

While getting tattooed, one allows someone - hopefully a good tattoo artist, though! - to create a special kind of wound while putting specific colored pigments under the skin with needles, either manually or with the help of a tattoo machine. 

Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough. 

Aisha Tyler

Over time, that wound is going to become a scar... sometimes a wonderful one, sometimes a gross one, for sure one filled with colored pigments: a tattoo.

[One interesting example of the kind of tattoos I like the most: 

Black ink Polynesian tattoo in the Marquesas Islands style]

Of course tattoos are way more than just a simple scar. They are part of important rituals in some cultures, over the centuries they had (and sometimes still have) a healing function in other cultures, they provided information about the roles of each person in a community or tribal society, they are a way of modifying the body, they marked and still mark a special kind of hierarchy in jails all around the world... and so on.

A big news published in advance on this blog, just for you, just today...

This is not official yet but...

I want you to be the first ones to know that I am going to become a Suicide Girl and to model for a calendar for naked tattooed women. 

So everyone will be able to see all my tattoos and to have pics of them, at last.

Dita Von Teese, stand aside... I am coming!

[Dita Von Teese in Purple latex catsuit

Copyright Jim Weathers, 2001]

...

...
...

Happy April Fools' Day, guys!

Update 2015:

How to learn a foreign language, Zombie Boy & a difficult and yet interesting question for tattooed people

While learning or improving your language skills in a foreign language, it is important to read a lot in that language. In this way, your passive vocabulary will become bigger and you will learn useful expressions used by native speakers.

While doing it, it is a good idea to read books, magazines, articles on the Internet, etc. about topics that you like and that are important and appealing to you. For this reason, I read tattoo magazines, in English, and in German, and today I stumbled upon a difficult and yet interesting question for tattooed people.

[Canadian body artist and model Zombie Boy (born Rico Genest) 

with Lady Gaga as a zombie lady

So Zombie Boy, how many hours have you been tattooed so far?!]

Mood: Not only the mirror has two faces... also smoking and rebellion do

I don't smoke and I've never smoked.
I don't drink alcohol or coffee, and I'm giving up drinking tee too. I don't take pills or drugs. I'm a Vegan. I'm a conscious and critical consumer. I recycle, I reuse, I reduce. But I love tattoos and piercings and I have them.

What? What I am talking about?

[Two-faced graffiti on the street
Berlin, Kreuzberg]

In my teens and in my twenties, I looked like a punk and I was very 'strange'. My hair was purple or red or whatever. My clothes were purple or black. My make-up was very dark. I was very dark.
At the beginning, the mental equation for most people was then: "She's a little weird, she's not like everybody else = she's stupid". People were always surprised because I'm not stupid.

The world's youngest tattoo artist

A friend recommends me a link about the world's youngest tattoo artist, 3-year-old Ruby Dickinson. Even if I'm mad about tattoos... I think that to start tattooing at 3 years old it's a little bit too early.