One of the worst problems is not understanding. Missing a nuance, a joke, a word. Needing time to get to the point. Feeling left out.
In a word, feeling stupid. Really, painfully, hopelessly stupid. Someone not worth talking to.
It is a legitimate feeling, even if totally unjustified, and after a while it may become a useful alarm bell which, at best, you learn to live with and to manage. To use it to improve your language skills and to better understand yourself and people around you.
At worst, you feel you're so total stupid and you become more convinced of it at every new episode where you do not understand something. And of course, by living in a foreign country in contact with another culture and by speaking another language, the episodes never fail.
Many people try to avoid this feeling and this sense of inadequacy by switching to English like some kind of refugees but in my humble opinion this is the worst possible choice. You can really learn a language only by accepting this feeling, accepting it as a part of the process, accepting you're going to still make mistakes and keep moving forward anyway.
You can really learn a language only while leaving your comfort zone and trying something different, even if the risk is to be considered less brilliant and intelligent than you actually are.
If you only speak English because it is easier you will never improve and will continue to be afraid to make mistakes. The new language will never become an 'automatic' channel of communication.
You will always be a tourist even if you're actually living in some place since ages, because it would be enough for people to just stop to be 'kind' to you while speaking English and to switch to the foreign language you are struggling with, in order to leave you lost and without the language and social skills you need to properly express yourself.
Is this what you want?
This one is for V. and J.
Tags: Learning a language, Inadequacy, Ostkreuz, Berlin, Comfort zone