Coaching Monday: In need of a rethink

The big misunderstanding about rethinking something is the idea that rethinking something is like admitting that we were wrong before. Maybe sometimes it may be true, but it's not always the case.

[A rethink doesn't always have to be big or life-changing, 

but it can always change the quality of our lives]

A rethink is a new (mental, physical, emotional) place, a new page, a new chapter. A rethink is a chance to start fresh again thanks to different ideas, updated information, and/or improved tools.

What could be better than that?

"Where in your life do you need a rethink?"                                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Rethink, New chapters, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #159. - Rethinking what crying is for

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Coaching Monday: Protecting what's non-negotiable

Important decisions are scary. We may fear the consequences, the uncertainty of an unknown outcome, the FOMO. 

Also, many of us focus only on the supposed outcome and not on the journey that a specific decision can generate for us. They focus on the "what", not on the "how" or the "why".

That way, it's difficult to know where we are headed with the decision we are about to take.

[Another way to think about this question is:

"What's the most precious treasure I have

and how I am going to protect it?]

Knowing what is non-negotiable and how we are going to protect what's non-negotiable to us provides us with a blueprint for every decision. This way, we always know what we can compromise on and what is out of the question, what can be a possibility and what we would for sure regret in the long run, what is worth the effort and the discomfort, and what we can let go of. 

When in doubt, let's look for what's non-negotiable.

"How do you protect what is non-negotiable to you?" 

                                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Priorities

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #15. - Not negotiable

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Coaching Monday: The question you keep asking yourself

Suppose the quality of our lives depends on the quality of the questions we ask (ourselves and others, no exception) on a bigger scale than on the quality of the answers we give and receive. In that case, it's easy to understand that being aware of the questions we keep asking ourselves is pivotal in creating the lives we want to lead.

We may be aware of some of those questions, others may run in the background, invisible and unchecked, and yet in a sort of endless loop. Are they useful? Are they helpful? Are they serving or hurting us?

[A good way of practicing self-observation

is asking yourself how you feel

after each of the questions you ask yourself]

When in doubt, getting curious about which questions are keeping us company regularly can be the missing step in getting the clarity we need and in noticing thinking patterns, both positive and negative, that may have a big influence on us without us noticing.

How about you?

"What is the question you keep asking yourself?"

                                                 

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Thinking patterns, Self-observation, Life design

What to read next:

With the right reframing, there are no stupid questions

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Coaching Monday: Your own definition for "liberating"

"Liberating" is a word we don't use that often, probably because it has been weaponized and misused in the past. 

I hope we can finally leave that collective past behind us and, letting politics aside, ask ourselves what would be liberating.

What does the word mean for each of us?

What do we associate the word with?

[With your answer to this question 

you can go big or, just as good, 

stay small and think about all the little things

that make you feel free, and lighter]

To me, being honest with myself feels liberating, and the same applies to being able to let go, choosing my battles carefully and ignoring the rest, and plenty of other habits that can make a difference in my life on a daily basis.

How about you?

"What would feel liberating right now?"           

                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Healthy habits, Liberating

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #279. - A liberating experience, today

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Coaching Monday: Thinking ahead

Thinking ahead is important, but being able to be in the moment and reflect on the past is just as important.

We may want to be all in for playing the long game and to have as many steps as possible figured out as soon as possible... and yet finding a good balance between our thoughts on the future, the present, and the past is what can help us design the kind of life that will make us happy, thankful, and satisfied both short-term and long-term.

[How about three to five? You would prefer to have ten?

What's a good number for you?]

Thinking ahead is great, as long as we don't get lost in the process and forget about the present moment. 
"How many steps ahead are you thinking right now?" 

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Thinking ahead, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #214. - The golden part of your day, every day

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Coaching Monday: The reward for staying curious

People are full of surprises, more than we expect them to be and way more than what we often credit them for. 

But in order to be able to see it and to let us surprise us, we have to give up control to a certain degree and stay curious instead, granting the people around us the benefit of the doubt, which is not always easy.

[The more unexpected the surprise, the better.
And you can also be the one surprising yourself]

Staying curious and giving people around you the benefit of the doubt can be so rewarding! 

"Who surprised you today?"   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Curiosity, Strong relationships

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #408. - Every shade of unpredictability

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Coaching Monday: Young at heart

Age is just a number, they say. Sometimes it's true.

For this Coaching Monday, I would like to wish you a great last September week with a short, and yet very important question: 

[Like with all important questions, there's no wrong answer.

What makes sense to you makes sense, period]

"What can keep you young at heart?"                                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Motivation, Young at heart

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #200. - Looking for surprises

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Coaching Monday: Your go-to antidote against stress

Stress is not always a bad thing, of course, but not all stress is created equal.

While practicing self-care and dealing with stress in a proactive and resilient way, having one or two go-to antidotes against stress to rely on is truly priceless and a powerful tool.

The mileage may vary: A hobby, bodywork, a power nap, a hot bath, doodling, going for a walk, calling a friend, cooking, journaling, working out, reading a book, meditating in solitude, or spending time with a loved one or a pet... Everything goes, as long as it works for you.

[Every strategy that works for you is a chance 

to deal with stress in a healthy way on your own terms]

"What's your go-to antidote against stress?"                                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Self-care, Dealing with stress

What to read next:
Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #360. - Nerves of steel

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Coaching Monday: Those stories we love to tell

Someone asks us "Can you tell me the story of [blank, insert here what is relevant to you: your life, your career, your brand, your relationship, your summer holiday, your hobby, your adventures]?" and the magic can begin...

​The stories we tell again and again, those are the ones we remember and that shape not only our memories and our past but also our thoughts about ourselves and who we are, about others, and about the world we live in. 

[Among my favorite stories: How I adopted my cat Kim,

my first winter in freezing cold Berlin, 

and how I learned to bake farinata like a pro]

Those stories, no matter the topic or circumstances, become a sort of invisible archive easily accessible to us, a mind palace that we keep visiting in order to share our stories with others, reflect on what happened before, understand what's happening now, and guess what is "therefore" going to happen next. 

We are the stories we tell, and those stories are our past, our present, and our future.  

"Which of your stories do you love to tell again and again?"   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Personal storytelling, Personal brand

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #38. - Your memories

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A short reality check question for all your to-do lists

Not all items on our to-do lists are created equal. 

We have plenty of them, covering almost every aspect of our lives and careers, accounting for nearly every waking moment we have. 

And yet not every item on the list receives the same treatment.

Once in a while, it's helpful to ask: "What is actually at the top of the list?", as in "Where are money, focus, energy, resources, time, and connections actually gravitating towards?". 

     

[The emphasis can also lay on "your list":

yours, not the list of someone else]

The answer reveals not what we plan to do, should do, would like to do, believe others expect us to do, or think it's the right thing to do, but what we are actually doing.

With an honest answer in mind, is our list still accurate, relevant, and useful as a blueprint for what we truly care about?    

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Priorities, Time management

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #309. - At the bottom of your list

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Spending time Vs. Investing time... Can it be that simple?

"Time is money" is something most people will say at some point, either once in a while for adding some sense of urgency to a situation, or on a regular basis because it is a fundamental part of their belief system.

And yet, time is not money. Time is finite, money is not.

Time is limited, and we can never be sure how long we are going to live, even when we floss, eat healthily, and do all the right things.

Money is (virtually) endless. If we lose money, we can make more money. But when we lose time, it is gone for good.

[Time is definitely not money, but we can 

play with the idea anyway and use it to our advantage]

Still, since "Time is money" is something that resonates with plenty of people, let's play with it with a simple question.

The tango of every meaningful connection

It takes two to tango, they say.
It also takes two to have a productive, respectful, and meaningful connection.
And even if sometimes we like to think so, having only one person working like crazy to make a connection/relationship work and to compensate for the lack of interest of the counterpart is a recipe for disaster. 

[Building a meaningful connection is like dancing...

More elements than you would think are involved]

Meaningful connections and healthy relationships are made out of commitment, self-awareness, and teamwork. 
                                                              

Tags: Coaching ideas, Self-awareness, Healthy relationships, Meaningful connections

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #88. - Your many accountability buddies

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A different name for creative excuses: The "All or nothing" mindset

We are often great at making excuses, creating elaborate narratives about why we cannot do something, or at procrastinating like a pro.

Reality is of course more nuanced than that and it may be that in some areas of our lives we are actually bold, daring, and fearless, but something is almost always true: If we don't try, the answer is always NO.

[Taking a risk, above all an informed risk,

could be transformational. 

Where can you just risk a little bit more?]

So how about trying out something, for a change, instead of waiting for everything to be perfect before we can make our next move?                                     

Tags: Coaching ideas, Self-awareness, Self-empowerment, Motivation

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #415. - Whatever the risk

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #419. - Something worth a good cry

Another way to formulate this question could have been "What is important enough for you to move you to tears?".

The answer may vary, of course, and the range of emotions that could make us cry is also quite vast.

Some of us cry out of joy or happiness, others out of anger or frustration, and sometimes we just cry out of relief.

In one way or another... thinking about what touched us deeply lately is always worth some time and self-introspection.

[What has been so intense lately

to move you to tears for whatever reason?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"What did make you cry lately?"               

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Being vulnerable, Dealing with emotions, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #159. - Rethinking what crying is for

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #418. - There's no going back, and that's a good thing

For many people, "There's no going back" often sounds quite menacing and gloomy.

Something that "final" and conclusive has to be bad and scary... It has to be about something we are losing for good, right?

Sometimes, it is. Other times, it's actually a great opportunity and a gift: In those cases, it's all about what we are actually letting go of.

What if you would be sure that there's no going back to health problems, toxic relationships, unfulfilling work, and harmful habits?

[Let's see... Living in the past, plenty of baggage,
lack of sleep, among other things. How about you?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"For what in your life there's no going back?"                   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, No going back, Change of perspective, Life chapters, Long-lasting change, Growth mindset, Letting go

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #392. - Choosing progress

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #417. - Your own personal lead balloon

"To go down like a lead balloon" is not only a quite funny idiomatic expression but also a very effective metaphor.

And... it is definitely revealing.

What do we like, dislike, find cringeworthy, or impossible to accept?

Can we recognize some kind of pattern or rule of thumb for ourselves?

[It may look just like some sort of silly visual image,

and yet it contains a pretty powerful question]

Coaching question of the day: 

"What does usually go down with you like a lead balloon?"                  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, English idioms, Likes and dislikes, Metaphors

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #359. - A new comparison

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #416. - Questions about heroes are like Matryoshka dolls

Today's question is one of my favorite questions at all, and yet it is also quite tricky.

Who and what is a hero, after all?

There's no right and wrong answer. A hero is perceived as such (by themselves and others, and the opinions may differ...) depending on the circumstances, the Zeitgeist, and many other factors as well.

True that, sure.

[Who can be seen as a hero, in your opinion?
This question is like a Matryoshka doll

for countless further questions...]

But what about us?

What does each of us consider relevant for being a hero?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #415. - Whatever the risk

Taking a risk is not about how big the risk is, but about how we feel:

How we feel about taking a risk overall, and how we feel about ourselves after taking a risk.

In the big scheme of things, sometimes taking a risk is a good decision, other times not so much.

At the same time, it's almost always a good thing to look back and realize we have been brave and took a risk.

Even when it didn't pan out in the end.

["Taking a risk" can mean anything.
As soon as you are out of your comfort zone,
you are taking a risk]

Coaching question of the day: 

"When was the last time you took a risk?"                

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Taking a risk, Resilience, Self-efficacy

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #235. - The next risk worth taking

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #414. - And invisible, and yet priceless gift

Growth is important, learning is important, self-development is important. True, true, true.

And yet we often forget something: Having fun, laughing, and having a good time is just as important.

The people in our lives that are fun to talk to and help us smile even during difficult times are among the most necessary people in our lives.

Even if we forget it sometimes (or most of the time).

[This is indeed one of those cases where
"The more, the merrier" applies]

Those people add value to our lives, a kind of value that is not always visible, and yet it is absolutely real and priceless.

Today's coaching question is an invitation to think of them, be thankful for them, and give them a call.

Coaching question of the day: 

"Who in your life is fun to talk to?" 

                                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Sense of humor, Emotional intelligence, Positive relationships, Resilience

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #18. - A good laugh

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #413. - The movie to star in...

Not every coaching question has to be incredibly serious in order to be effective, or useful.

The most playful questions are quite often also the most effective ones. Why?

Because we are not afraid to say something wrong, since there are no right and wrong answers.

Because the stakes are low and we can be quirky, fun, and a little bit more personal than usual.

[My answer? Well, for sure almost everything

with Doris Day and Audrey Hepburn!

And what about you?]

Today's question is a perfect example. Enjoy, and pick up your top three choices.

Coaching question of the day: 

"If you could star in an old movie, which one would you pick?"               

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Movie choices

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #136. - The movie to watch again and again

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