What's the last thing you think about or tell yourself before going to sleep, every night?
What did make you proud of yourself today?
Lately, I stumbled upon Harry Kraemer's self-reflection routine, that is very suitable for monitoring how happy and accomplished someone is in four main dimensions of their lives (physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual, whereupon some people also add the social dimension as being separated from the emotional one) and I consider it a very good tool for giving more purpose and intention to my days.
[What did you accomplish today?
Which items on your list did you tick off today?]
Kraemer's self-reflection routine can be a very effective tool for enhancing leadership on a personal and professional level, and it can be used both for coaching and self-coaching purposes.
The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.
Jim Rohn [1930-2009]
Furthermore, there are many similarities with a powerful NLP self-help format called 'Change history'. It allows people to "re-write" difficult and even pleasant memories of any kind of events in their lives, in order to make the most out of them and to learn from them on a higher level.
How does Kraemer's self-reflection routine look like?
Here you have it, as a list of useful questions to ask yourself before going to bed, perfect for creating an empowering daily ritual that will help you to give your life the direction you desire.
What did I say I was going to do today in all dimensions of my life?
What did I actually do today?
What am I proud of?
What am I not proud of?
How did I lead people?
How did I follow people?
If I lived today over again, what would I have done differently?
Based on what I learned today, what will I do tomorrow in all dimensions of my life?
Answering these questions will take only a couple of minutes or it could take longer than that if you decide to reply in a more articulate way and to go into a little more depth with this practice.
In the end, the mileage may vary and it is up to you to determine how much time you want to allocate for it, and this can also change day by day. There is no strict rule for it, and I think that the most important part is committing to it in the first place, it doesn't matter if for two or twenty minutes a day.
That said, how about pinning the questions somewhere in your bathroom and going through them while brushing your teeth before going to bed?
[Brushing your teeth in the evening while thinking about your day
and what you accomplished is a great way to practice self-care,
both physically and mentally]
Of course, you don't have to answer all the questions every single day, if you don't want to.
Even just a couple of them will do, and according to the motto "The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask yourself", they will help you to improve the quality of your days and to practice self-care and self-awareness without giving you the impression that you have to "do your homework".
In my opinion, one of the questions you should ask yourself on a regular basis is for sure:
What I am proud of today?
[Why waiting for being proud of you to have
everything figured out already and to do everything right?
Cherish every step of the process, instead]
Answering this question is a way to show yourself respect, appreciation, and esteem, both on great days and on days that can look a little less successful than expected, and to train yourself to notice more often and to keep record regularly of the small and not so small things you do (and feel, think, say, learn, etc.) that make a great person out of you.
It can be something as big as "Today I landed a very important client" and as small as "Today I took care of my health while flossing". Every single item on your list counts.
So start small, and have fun with the list!
PS. This one is for L., which has just so many things to be proud of.
Tags: Self-reflection, Harry Kraemer, Self-coaching, Practicing self-care, Being proud of oneself, Quotes
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