Coaching Monday: The reality check question

Today's weekly question may seem too easy. Or too difficult to answer.
I strongly believe that we should ask ourselves this question more often, quite regularly, as a useful and humbling reality check.

[Write down today's answer to this question, 

and then ask yourself the same question in a week.

Comparing both answers may surprise you]

No matter when you last asked (yourself and/or others) this question, today is a good day to ask it again.

"What's next?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Reality check

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #161. - Turning off your autopilot

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Coaching Friday: Your bucket list

Our first coaching Friday of the month is dedicated to a very fun, entertaining question that can help us know someone else better and also be quite useful in re-assessing our goals and desires on a regular basis.

The funny thing about bucket lists is... We all have (at least) one bucket list, it doesn't matter whether we are aware of it or not.

We can call it a bucket list, use other names for it, or just say things like "One day, when the time is right, I will [insert a dream/wish/desire/aspirational goal here]" without realizing that we are talking about something that is, for now, just an item on our bucket list.

[It can be a travel destination, an experience, an activity,

a special item, a hobby, something else... You decide]

Our bucket list can be something we like to share with others on a regular basis, or it can be a pretty private matter or even something that we don't consciously focus on daily, but it's still always on our mind, running in the background and shaping our decisions. 

And yet, once in a while, we return to it and say "No matter what, I definitely want to [X]".

"What's the biggest item on your bucket list?"              

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Bucket list

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #150. - Your ideal holiday

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Spending time Vs. Investing time... Can it be that simple?

"Time is money" is something most people will say at some point, either once in a while for adding some sense of urgency to a situation, or on a regular basis because it is a fundamental part of their belief system.

And yet, time is not money. Time is finite, money is not.

Time is limited, and we can never be sure how long we are going to live, even when we floss, eat healthily, and do all the right things.

Money is (virtually) endless. If we lose money, we can make more money. But when we lose time, it is gone for good.

[Time is definitely not money, but we can 

play with the idea anyway and use it to our advantage]

Still, since "Time is money" is something that resonates with plenty of people, let's play with it with a simple question.

A different name for creative excuses: The "All or nothing" mindset

We are often great at making excuses, creating elaborate narratives about why we cannot do something, or at procrastinating like a pro.

Reality is of course more nuanced than that and it may be that in some areas of our lives we are actually bold, daring, and fearless, but something is almost always true: If we don't try, the answer is always NO.

[Taking a risk, above all an informed risk,

could be transformational. 

Where can you just risk a little bit more?]

So how about trying out something, for a change, instead of waiting for everything to be perfect before we can make our next move?                                     

Tags: Coaching ideas, Self-awareness, Self-empowerment, Motivation

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #415. - Whatever the risk

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #418. - There's no going back, and that's a good thing

For many people, "There's no going back" often sounds quite menacing and gloomy.

Something that "final" and conclusive has to be bad and scary... It has to be about something we are losing for good, right?

Sometimes, it is. Other times, it's actually a great opportunity and a gift: In those cases, it's all about what we are actually letting go of.

What if you would be sure that there's no going back to health problems, toxic relationships, unfulfilling work, and harmful habits?

[Let's see... Living in the past, plenty of baggage,
lack of sleep, among other things. How about you?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"For what in your life there's no going back?"                   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, No going back, Change of perspective, Life chapters, Long-lasting change, Growth mindset, Letting go

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #392. - Choosing progress

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #416. - Questions about heroes are like Matryoshka dolls

Today's question is one of my favorite questions at all, and yet it is also quite tricky.

Who and what is a hero, after all?

There's no right and wrong answer. A hero is perceived as such (by themselves and others, and the opinions may differ...) depending on the circumstances, the Zeitgeist, and many other factors as well.

True that, sure.

[Who can be seen as a hero, in your opinion?
This question is like a Matryoshka doll

for countless further questions...]

But what about us?

What does each of us consider relevant for being a hero?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #415. - Whatever the risk

Taking a risk is not about how big the risk is, but about how we feel:

How we feel about taking a risk overall, and how we feel about ourselves after taking a risk.

In the big scheme of things, sometimes taking a risk is a good decision, other times not so much.

At the same time, it's almost always a good thing to look back and realize we have been brave and took a risk.

Even when it didn't pan out in the end.

["Taking a risk" can mean anything.
As soon as you are out of your comfort zone,
you are taking a risk]

Coaching question of the day: 

"When was the last time you took a risk?"                

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Taking a risk, Resilience, Self-efficacy

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #235. - The next risk worth taking

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #413. - The movie to star in...

Not every coaching question has to be incredibly serious in order to be effective, or useful.

The most playful questions are quite often also the most effective ones. Why?

Because we are not afraid to say something wrong, since there are no right and wrong answers.

Because the stakes are low and we can be quirky, fun, and a little bit more personal than usual.

[My answer? Well, for sure almost everything

with Doris Day and Audrey Hepburn!

And what about you?]

Today's question is a perfect example. Enjoy, and pick up your top three choices.

Coaching question of the day: 

"If you could star in an old movie, which one would you pick?"               

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Movie choices

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #136. - The movie to watch again and again

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #412. - Interesting, but not your responsibility

What's the hottest mantra everyone has been talking about for a very long time?

Taking responsibility for our actions, ideas, and emotions, which is for sure quite important and empowering.

And yet being able to set (healthy) boundaries, recognize what is not our responsibility, and, if necessary, speak up about it is just as important and empowering.

[Take a deep breath and repeat after me: 

"Not everything happening on this planet is my responsibility"]

Pick your battles, they say.

They should also be talking about picking your responsibilities, or the ability to say NO and keep other people accountable for their own responsibilities, instead of trying to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

Sometimes, saying NO is the most responsible thing to do.

Coaching question of the day: 

"What is not your responsibility?"              

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Taking responsibility, Setting boundaries, Saying NO, Mindfulness

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #330. - Our responsibility on bad days 

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #411. - A surprising piece of information

Every single day, we are exposed to every kind of information.

Among this huge amount of new information available to us, only a tiny fraction of it is quite useful.

Plenty of it is not particularly interesting or helpful, and some (most?) of it is just junk.

The magic lies in knowing what to listen to, in recognizing what is actually valuable, and in being open to being surprised, amused, motivated, changed, and touched by it.

[What has been different for you today

after being exposed to that specific piece of information?]

How is it going for you?

Coaching question of the day: 

"Which piece of information did surprise you today?"                  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Dealing with new information, Growth mindset, Information management

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #240. - The best piece of advice for you

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Where to start, if you are new 

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #409. - There's no magical spring of motivation

For many people, motivation is something fascinating and desirable.
And yet somehow mysterious. Even elusive.

They seem to be looking for the magical spring of motivation, where unmotivated people can take a foot bath once in a while and become suddenly motivated until a further bath will be needed...

People often talk about "finding motivation", as if motivation would be somewhere out there, hidden in special places and just waiting to be "found", in order to do its trick for us.

[That may be different for each of us, and that's okay.

The secret is discovering what works for you]

Motivation is not found, it is built. Every single day, thanks to small, repeated actions, and self-discipline.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #408. - Every shade of unpredictability

If there is one thing the last year taught (or better said... reminded) us, is that life is not as predictable as we tend to imagine.

And, even more, not as predictable as we would like it to be.

The same may be true for each of us.

We are all, to some extent and depending on the circumstances, less predictable than others (and ourselves) would expect us to be.

[Every shade between "Nowhere" and "Everywhere" 

is a good option, as long as you are happy with it]

Where exactly? How? In which situations? Alone or with others? How does it feel? Too much? Or it should be more?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #407. - On a journey, in good company

The journey matters, sure thing.

But it also matters who is sharing the journey with you.

If you think about who should be on a journey with you, what do you think of?

What would they bring to the table and what could make the interaction valuable for both sides?

[True fans, reliable accountability buddies, good friends,

honest experts, like-minded partners...]

Coaching question of the day:

"Who should be on a journey with you?"                          

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Healthy relationships, Emotional intelligence, Growth mindset

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #289. - Your tasks, your lifelong journey

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #406. - "Delightful" as a state of mind

"Delightful" is a state of mind.

It means we are able to look around, pay attention, and ask ourselves, on a daily basis, what could be delightful. 

"Delightful" is a state of mind, even during difficult times. 

Probably even more during difficult times.

[We can make a habit of finding something delightful

every day, even on bad days]

We can either focus only on what's going terribly wrong, or we can choose to keep noticing instead all the small things that are, even in difficult times, still delightful.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #405. - Fearless you

"But aren't you afraid that...?", they may ask.

More often than not, while expressing their own fears, worries, and their own concern about something.

Sometimes we are indeed afraid that [feel free to fill the blank with a suitable answer].

Other times, we aren't. Other times, we are fearless.

[I am fearless about dancing, blogging, fasting, and...

pulling off bold hair colors, for a change. And you?]

Maybe because we have been there before. Maybe because we have overcome our fears already.

Maybe because we tried, failed, learned something, survived, moved on, and now we are immune.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #404. - Your next 90 days commitment

"Commitment" often feels like a big, scary word.
But it doesn't have to be this way.

It's just about us, in a good way.

[There's nothing too small or too big to commit to.
As long as you are willing to go for it one day at a time]

It can be about embracing the change we want to make for ourselves and others.
It can be about seeing what we are committed to for the time being as an exciting adventure.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #403. - Not one, not two, but three questions about reminders

What's your take on reminders?

Some of us like visual clues, others prefer to listen to something again and again, for many people writing something down by hand many times works like a charm, and so on.

No matter in which shape or form a reminder has to be for us to make the most out of it, we all need some, and we need them more often than we usually imagine, or want to admit.

[Two examples of a good reminder, in my opinion?

Journaling and reading once more what we wrote,

and writing down lists to check again later]

So the first question could be what we personally consider to be a good reminder, and the second question "should" then be: "A good reminder for what?".

That's an even more interesting question, if we are honest with ourselves.

Coaching question of the day: 

"What has been a good reminder for you, lately?"                          

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Mindfulness, Good reminders, Memory tricks, Learning strategies

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #271. - Counting your blessings - Reprise

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #402. - In praise of fierceness

It's the kind of attitude that we can call it in many ways: Being fierce, battlesome, pugnacious, even gladiatorial.

We can call it in many ways, and even if it gets a bad reputation quite often, more often than not it's a very healthy and empowering approach.

Sometimes, we can also just call it "having true grit" and be proud of it, and proud of us.

What do you think?

[Whatever the life areas you can be a true warrior,

how about being thankful for it and proud of you?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"Where in your life are you particularly fierce?"                         

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Having true grit, Being fierce, Self-acceptance

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #104. - Your warrior-mode

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #401. - Your own kind of "candlelight"

If I say "candlelight", plenty of people are about to think nostalgically about candle-light dinners, restaurants, romantic evenings, and all that jazz.

And that's a way to look at it, of course.

Another way is to think about a relaxing dinner at home, a quiet moment of self-care, a meditation or thankfulness ritual, a fun storytelling evening with the kids, and many other options as well.

"Candlelight" can just be another way of saying "thankfulness", "mindfulness", and "self-care".

[Candlelight is awesome for any kind of pleasant evening,

from listening to a podcast to watching a movie with your loved ones, 

from doing yoga and meditation, to enjoy a tasty dinner]

It doesn't have to be over-the-top fancy, and it doesn't have to be organized by someone else.

How about finding out what's your personal way of enjoying it?

Coaching question of the day: 

"When was the last time you've enjoyed some candlelight?"                  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Self-care, Mindfulness, Gratitude, Candlelight, Reframing

What to read next:

Singleness made in Berlin - #5. Or why it is important to pay attention to your own very personal red flags, even when you don't feel like doing it

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #400. - Your next milestone

During both bad and good days, few things are more helpful and empowering than thinking about the next milestone we are willing to reach.
It's a great trick for staying focused, training our resilience muscles, and taking everything happening around us with a grain of salt.

No matter the goal, no matter the life areas involved, no matter the dream, keeping in mind our milestones will help us put things into perspective.

[At least a further 100 coaching questions,

and a brand new website. How about you?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"Which milestone are you planning to reach next?"                          

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Goal setting, Time management, Reaching a milestone, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #107. - Which kind of roadmap?

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