Coaching Monday: Your cue for walking away

We can call it a deal-breaker, a no-no, a red flag. Or we can just call it our cue. We all have one, for both getting involved with AND walking away from something (or someone).

Recognizing our cue is half the battle.

[Knowing what your cue is before you are going to need it

can spare you from drama, problems, and discomfort]

"What is your cue for walking away from something?"                                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Boundaries, Letting go

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #134. - Your money, as a customer

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Coaching Monday: Your best-case scenario, for a change

Happy New Year, everyone!
I am back from the festive break with one of the questions I like the most.

We like to hope for the best and plan for the worst, be ready so that we don't have to get ready, and we love to say that there are no mistakes, only life lessons.

So far, so good, but how about concentrating less on avoiding the worst-case scenario and thinking more about our best-case scenario?

Moving toward what we want is so much more interesting than trying again and again to run away from what we don't want, so our best-case scenario may deserve some time, attention, and focus...

[In order to make progress and see results,

it's very important to get acquainted with the outcome

we are working toward]

Are we sure to know what it looks like, what it means for us and our loved ones, what it takes to get there, and what we need to be doing for it?

What if what we have is already very close to our best-case scenario? Are we able to see it?

"How does your best-case scenario look like?"    

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Best-case scenario

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #357. - The blocker that isn't actually a blocker

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Coaching Monday: Your open list for this year

I hardly believe it, and probably it's the same for you, and yet there are only five weeks left before kissing this year goodbye.
Even if it may feel pointless to make plans or think about what could be achieved before the year is over, it's not pointless at all.

[A career change, asking someone out, learning a new skill,

going for a trip, a difficult phone call,
dedicating more time to yourself...

What item is still on your list for 2023?]

The days will go by in any case, whether we spend them doing something meaningful and productive or not, so why not give the items still on our list for this year a shot and work towards them, one day at a time?

"What is still on your list for this year?"   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Time management, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #362. - Your plan for the next three months

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Coaching Monday: Thinking ahead

Thinking ahead is important, but being able to be in the moment and reflect on the past is just as important.

We may want to be all in for playing the long game and to have as many steps as possible figured out as soon as possible... and yet finding a good balance between our thoughts on the future, the present, and the past is what can help us design the kind of life that will make us happy, thankful, and satisfied both short-term and long-term.

[How about three to five? You would prefer to have ten?

What's a good number for you?]

Thinking ahead is great, as long as we don't get lost in the process and forget about the present moment. 
"How many steps ahead are you thinking right now?" 

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Thinking ahead, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #214. - The golden part of your day, every day

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Coaching Monday: In only twenty minutes

Our to-do lists get longer and longer every day, and yet, somehow, we keep saying "I will take care of [insert a task you are dreading right now] at some point".

Why at some point? Why not today?

While hoping for the best and waiting for those magical days when we will have plenty of time to do everything and catch up with anything in order to get started, we are ignoring very powerful pockets of time where, in only twenty minutes, we can get things done and accomplish more than we would have expected or ever imagined possible.

[An extra tip? Go for a small task that can be completed 

in only twenty minutes, start to finish:

tackle one of those each day (or most days)

and enjoy the positive domino effect they create]

Just twenty minutes of focused work can be like a miracle. Are you ready to try and accept the challenge?

"What can you get done in only twenty minutes?"      

                                         

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Time management, Productivity

What to read next:

A short reality check question for all your to-do lists

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Coaching Monday: Your new nurturing hobby

In my opinion, way too many people consider hobbies as something "nice to have" but not truly meaningful.

And yet, the right hobby can be nurturing, enriching, and even life-changing. 

["The right hobby" means of course

"The right hobby for you"]

A hobby allows us to recharge, relax, practice self-care, and - depending on the hobby - could also be a powerful tool for honing a skill set, pivoting to a different field, and connecting with others.

"What new nurturing hobby did you discover this year?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Self-care, Time management

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #297. - Something energizing

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Coaching Monday: An unexpectedly difficult question to answer

Today's question is among my favorite ones because what appears to be an easy no-brainer or an inflated icebreaker for stale conversations is, actually, quite challenging to answer.

If money were no obstacle, what would you like to do? Not only for a day, a week, a somehow longer vacation... What would you like to do, read, discover, learn, and experience on a daily basis, and in the long run? What would you like to change for good, and what should stay the same?

[That's also the perfect question to use 

for having a regular reality check all by yourself]

You would be surprised to discover that most people don't know how to answer. How about you?

"If money were irrelevant, what would you like to do?"    

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life goals, Time management

What to read next:

A short reality check question for all your to-do lists

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Coaching Friday: Your most essential task for today

In (busy) times of endless to-do lists and online availability around the clock, it's easy to feel frustrated and overwhelmed, as if nothing would ever get done and, no matter the hours and the effort, you would always be back right where you started. Or even nowhere near that starting line.

​And yet, this is far from the truth. It's just a matter of perception: We will never be done with every single item on our lists because our lists are constantly evolving, changing, and adapting based on our goals, commitments, needs, and priorities. 

Trying to tick each and every item off our daily lists is just as elusive as trying to hit an invisible moving target. But why should we even try to be "done" once and for all? Is it even possible?

[You can think big for this one... or go for something minimal

and yet useful and dearly important to you]

I prefer the concept of the "most essential task" instead: Each day, at least the most essential task for the day has to be accomplished for me to feel at peace.

Coaching Friday: Saying NO as a life skill

For many people, saying NO feels very scary and difficult, so difficult that it may be almost impossible.

And yet, in a pretty interesting and revealing way, those are the people that would badly need to be able to say NO more often.

Knowing when to say yes is important, sure thing, but knowing when to say NO is just as important. Both saying yes and saying NO have to be in balance, they need to have a purpose, they should be seen as practical tools for designing our days and lives.

[Saying NO often can create space for saying yes

to something that truly matters to you]

They also both say a lot about us as people, professionals, and social beings. 

"What do your NO's say about you?"                

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Saying NO, Boundaries

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #380. - The art of leaving out what is not needed

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Skipping the noise, one day at a time

Just like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, noise is in the ears of the recipient.

What others may consider helpful (and yet unrequired) advice, terrific (freezing) cold calls that may change your life forever, pragmatic (tone-deaf) suggestions, and any flavor of request that serves someone else and yet is presented as something said with "your best interest in mind" is just... noise.

Time, energy, and mental space are limited resources. In order to stay focused and productive, being able to skip the noise is one of the top priorities and a pivotal life skill.

["Skipping the noise" may mean different things

to different people... You do you]

Recognizing noise as such is the first step, skipping the noise and being unapologetic about it is just as important.

When in doubt, how do you skip the noise around you?

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Time management, Focus

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #362. - Your plan for the next three months

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A short reality check question for all your to-do lists

Not all items on our to-do lists are created equal. 

We have plenty of them, covering almost every aspect of our lives and careers, accounting for nearly every waking moment we have. 

And yet not every item on the list receives the same treatment.

Once in a while, it's helpful to ask: "What is actually at the top of the list?", as in "Where are money, focus, energy, resources, time, and connections actually gravitating towards?". 

     

[The emphasis can also lay on "your list":

yours, not the list of someone else]

The answer reveals not what we plan to do, should do, would like to do, believe others expect us to do, or think it's the right thing to do, but what we are actually doing.

With an honest answer in mind, is our list still accurate, relevant, and useful as a blueprint for what we truly care about?    

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Priorities, Time management

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #309. - At the bottom of your list

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Spending time Vs. Investing time... Can it be that simple?

"Time is money" is something most people will say at some point, either once in a while for adding some sense of urgency to a situation, or on a regular basis because it is a fundamental part of their belief system.

And yet, time is not money. Time is finite, money is not.

Time is limited, and we can never be sure how long we are going to live, even when we floss, eat healthily, and do all the right things.

Money is (virtually) endless. If we lose money, we can make more money. But when we lose time, it is gone for good.

[Time is definitely not money, but we can 

play with the idea anyway and use it to our advantage]

Still, since "Time is money" is something that resonates with plenty of people, let's play with it with a simple question.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #418. - There's no going back, and that's a good thing

For many people, "There's no going back" often sounds quite menacing and gloomy.

Something that "final" and conclusive has to be bad and scary... It has to be about something we are losing for good, right?

Sometimes, it is. Other times, it's actually a great opportunity and a gift: In those cases, it's all about what we are actually letting go of.

What if you would be sure that there's no going back to health problems, toxic relationships, unfulfilling work, and harmful habits?

[Let's see... Living in the past, plenty of baggage,
lack of sleep, among other things. How about you?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"For what in your life there's no going back?"                   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, No going back, Change of perspective, Life chapters, Long-lasting change, Growth mindset, Letting go

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #392. - Choosing progress

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #411. - A surprising piece of information

Every single day, we are exposed to every kind of information.

Among this huge amount of new information available to us, only a tiny fraction of it is quite useful.

Plenty of it is not particularly interesting or helpful, and some (most?) of it is just junk.

The magic lies in knowing what to listen to, in recognizing what is actually valuable, and in being open to being surprised, amused, motivated, changed, and touched by it.

[What has been different for you today

after being exposed to that specific piece of information?]

How is it going for you?

Coaching question of the day: 

"Which piece of information did surprise you today?"                  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Dealing with new information, Growth mindset, Information management

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #240. - The best piece of advice for you

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Where to start, if you are new 

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #410. - The unexpected secret asset while setting priorities

Setting priorities that serve us and help us go where we want to go is fundamental, sure thing.

And just as fundamental is being agile and resilient enough to change those very same priorities if we need to adapt them to new options, circumstances, and ideas.

Good priorities don't have to be set in stone, even if it's useful sometimes.

Other times, being flexible is the best way to keep our priorities relevant.

[And even more important...
How flexible have you been in the process?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"How did your priorities change lately, if at all?"                  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Setting priorities, Time management, Life design, Change of priorities, Flexibility

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #342. - Your main priority for this year

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #409. - There's no magical spring of motivation

For many people, motivation is something fascinating and desirable.
And yet somehow mysterious. Even elusive.

They seem to be looking for the magical spring of motivation, where unmotivated people can take a foot bath once in a while and become suddenly motivated until a further bath will be needed...

People often talk about "finding motivation", as if motivation would be somewhere out there, hidden in special places and just waiting to be "found", in order to do its trick for us.

[That may be different for each of us, and that's okay.

The secret is discovering what works for you]

Motivation is not found, it is built. Every single day, thanks to small, repeated actions, and self-discipline.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #404. - Your next 90 days commitment

"Commitment" often feels like a big, scary word.
But it doesn't have to be this way.

It's just about us, in a good way.

[There's nothing too small or too big to commit to.
As long as you are willing to go for it one day at a time]

It can be about embracing the change we want to make for ourselves and others.
It can be about seeing what we are committed to for the time being as an exciting adventure.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #400. - Your next milestone

During both bad and good days, few things are more helpful and empowering than thinking about the next milestone we are willing to reach.
It's a great trick for staying focused, training our resilience muscles, and taking everything happening around us with a grain of salt.

No matter the goal, no matter the life areas involved, no matter the dream, keeping in mind our milestones will help us put things into perspective.

[At least a further 100 coaching questions,

and a brand new website. How about you?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"Which milestone are you planning to reach next?"                          

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Goal setting, Time management, Reaching a milestone, Life design

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #107. - Which kind of roadmap?

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #399. - A very specific and empowering rule of thumb

We are exposed to every possible kind of content and advertising on a daily basis, wherever we are, whatever we do, whether we like it or not.
Sometimes, it can make us feel hopeless, overwhelmed, and at the mercy of whoever is the loudest person in the room at a given time.

Luckily enough, it doesn't have to be this way and we don't have to succumb to any kind of communication entropy either.
We can always say NO, we can always disconnect, we can always unsubscribe.

[The answer can be related to content types,

frequency of communication, overall tone...]

If you have your rule of thumb for unsubscribing already, that's incredibly helpful (and healthy) and it can be fun to give it some further thought, in order to better understand what your red flags are.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #397. - A "silly" question that's not silly at all

We often look smugly at suggestions like "Do more of what you love".

While being only focused on the "name tag" of some profession, job, or career, it can be considered silly and unrealistic advice.

What if we would pay attention to the single aspects of a situation instead? What are the emotions related to it, what are our expectations regarding what this would mean for us?

Which aspects of the desired activity could play a role in our days, even if we should take just baby steps in that direction?

[Are you thinking of something completely new

or of something that is already part of your life?]

If we dare to ask ourselves what we would like to do more of, no matter how unrealistic the answer may sound, what would we say?