Coaching Monday: Your song for endless days

Music is so inspiring and powerful that we should always be aware of the incredible effect it has on us, our body, our nerves, our energy level, and our emotional state of being.

So during difficult or long days, it's important to pick our soundtrack very carefully and intentionally.

[If you have more than one song for those days,

that's even better!]

If you don't have already different playlists able to energize you, motivate you, calm you, entertain you, and soothe you depending on the needs of the moment, it's time to create some very soon.

Have fun with the process!

"What's your song for days that feel endless?"                                              

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Self-care, Power of music, Personal playlists

What to read next:

Coaching Monday: Your happy tune for rainy days

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Coaching Monday: Your happy tune for rainy days

There are good days and, sometimes, not-so-good days.

It's important to enjoy and be thankful for the good ones and practice resilience, self-care, and emotional intelligence during the not-so-good ones. Like with everything else, it may take some time and practice to get there.

We can always do our best to make the most of a not-so-good day. There's always room for improvement and a not-so-good day can become a good one, after all.

One of the first rules, at least for me, is knowing what I need to feel better, improve my mood, and keep calm even if not everything is going as planned.

Listening to music is incredibly powerful and yet still undervalued, even if we do it all the time.

When I don't feel well, I know that many songs will flip my mood within seconds of listening to them, and those are the ones I call my "happy tunes for rainy days".

[A good example? For me, for sure

"Steal My Sunshine" by Len]

Having some of them always handy, if needed, is for me a sure way to give my not-so-good days a fair chance to become a good one. How about you?

"What is your happy tune for rainy days?" 

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Happy tunes for rainy days, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #323. - The soundtrack of your days

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Coaching Monday: Your own definition for "liberating"

"Liberating" is a word we don't use that often, probably because it has been weaponized and misused in the past. 

I hope we can finally leave that collective past behind us and, letting politics aside, ask ourselves what would be liberating.

What does the word mean for each of us?

What do we associate the word with?

[With your answer to this question 

you can go big or, just as good, 

stay small and think about all the little things

that make you feel free, and lighter]

To me, being honest with myself feels liberating, and the same applies to being able to let go, choosing my battles carefully and ignoring the rest, and plenty of other habits that can make a difference in my life on a daily basis.

How about you?

"What would feel liberating right now?"           

                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Life design, Healthy habits, Liberating

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #279. - A liberating experience, today

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Coaching Monday: Young at heart

Age is just a number, they say. Sometimes it's true.

For this Coaching Monday, I would like to wish you a great last September week with a short, and yet very important question: 

[Like with all important questions, there's no wrong answer.

What makes sense to you makes sense, period]

"What can keep you young at heart?"                                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Motivation, Young at heart

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #200. - Looking for surprises

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Coaching Monday: Your new nurturing hobby

In my opinion, way too many people consider hobbies as something "nice to have" but not truly meaningful.

And yet, the right hobby can be nurturing, enriching, and even life-changing. 

["The right hobby" means of course

"The right hobby for you"]

A hobby allows us to recharge, relax, practice self-care, and - depending on the hobby - could also be a powerful tool for honing a skill set, pivoting to a different field, and connecting with others.

"What new nurturing hobby did you discover this year?"  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Self-care, Time management

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #297. - Something energizing

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Coaching Monday: Your go-to antidote against stress

Stress is not always a bad thing, of course, but not all stress is created equal.

While practicing self-care and dealing with stress in a proactive and resilient way, having one or two go-to antidotes against stress to rely on is truly priceless and a powerful tool.

The mileage may vary: A hobby, bodywork, a power nap, a hot bath, doodling, going for a walk, calling a friend, cooking, journaling, working out, reading a book, meditating in solitude, or spending time with a loved one or a pet... Everything goes, as long as it works for you.

[Every strategy that works for you is a chance 

to deal with stress in a healthy way on your own terms]

"What's your go-to antidote against stress?"                                                  

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Self-care, Dealing with stress

What to read next:
Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #360. - Nerves of steel

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Coaching Friday: Your most essential task for today

In (busy) times of endless to-do lists and online availability around the clock, it's easy to feel frustrated and overwhelmed, as if nothing would ever get done and, no matter the hours and the effort, you would always be back right where you started. Or even nowhere near that starting line.

​And yet, this is far from the truth. It's just a matter of perception: We will never be done with every single item on our lists because our lists are constantly evolving, changing, and adapting based on our goals, commitments, needs, and priorities. 

Trying to tick each and every item off our daily lists is just as elusive as trying to hit an invisible moving target. But why should we even try to be "done" once and for all? Is it even possible?

[You can think big for this one... or go for something minimal

and yet useful and dearly important to you]

I prefer the concept of the "most essential task" instead: Each day, at least the most essential task for the day has to be accomplished for me to feel at peace.

Coaching Friday: Dealing with bad news

Today's coaching question has a special place in my heart.
Not everything in life is rainbows and unicorns, and something we have to deal with a disheartening piece of information, something frightening in the news that hits too close to home, or maybe a health scare or a layoff.

Even if the habit of "doom-scrolling" may be considered way more common now than in the past, most people still tend to be afraid of bad news in any shape or form. Even more so when it feels "personal".
It doesn't matter whether we are confronted with it on a personal or professional level, or if we are talking about received feedback, discovering something (negative and) unexpected, or catching up at last with long-feared consequences of a situation or decision... 

[What if we would see bad news as a chance

to get stronger and try something new in our lives?]

The way we deal with bad news is often revealing of how resilient we feel in the moment, how much we trust our ability to take care of ourselves and others in an unpleasant or scary scenario, and how confident we are that, eventually, we will be able to cope with something, learn from it, and make the most out of it.

"How do you deal with bad news?" often is a synonym for "Do you believe that you are able to grow under difficult circumstances?".
Is bad news always "forever bad" or is it a matter of perspective?              

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Resilience, Growth mindset, Emotional agility

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #369. - The hidden side of resilience

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Skipping the noise, one day at a time

Just like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, noise is in the ears of the recipient.

What others may consider helpful (and yet unrequired) advice, terrific (freezing) cold calls that may change your life forever, pragmatic (tone-deaf) suggestions, and any flavor of request that serves someone else and yet is presented as something said with "your best interest in mind" is just... noise.

Time, energy, and mental space are limited resources. In order to stay focused and productive, being able to skip the noise is one of the top priorities and a pivotal life skill.

["Skipping the noise" may mean different things

to different people... You do you]

Recognizing noise as such is the first step, skipping the noise and being unapologetic about it is just as important.

When in doubt, how do you skip the noise around you?

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Time management, Focus

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #362. - Your plan for the next three months

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One of the best descriptions of coaching you will ever read, brought to you by Carl Richards

The always brilliant Carl Richards penned one of the best descriptions I ever read of how coaching actually works and why it can be so helpful and nourishing:

You don’t hire a coach — whether to help you with money, business, creativity, or sports — because you’re stupid.

You hire a coach because they’re not you.

Other people can see things you clearly cannot see.

[A good coach is an excellent detector of blind spots.

Well said, Carl Richards!]

Way too many people think hiring a coach is the same as admitting something is wrong with them or screaming out loud in front of the world that they need someone else to "fix" them and that the fixing needed is so "bad" that they cannot do it alone.

This could not be farther from the truth.

When "annoying" can actually mean something good... for you

Growth and self-awareness are not always about sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns.

More often than not, they are actually about the hard stuff, the unpleasant stuff, the stuff that makes us uncomfortable.

[There's no meaningless size of "annoying":

Big and small sources of annoyance can be equally revealing]

Knowing what annoys you is just as important as knowing what energizes and makes you happy.

The emphasis lies on the word "you", and for a reason: What annoys you can be a blessing for someone else, and vice-versa. 

Just because others don't mind, it doesn't mean you have to be okay with something, and just because something drives you crazy you shouldn't assume that it's the same for everyone else.

What does annoy you the most?             

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection,  Emotional intelligence, Well-being

What to read next:

Three annoying things people do while dealing with tattooed people and what this has to do with you

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A question that is only apparently easy to answer, and how to make a game out of it

Ask someone about their most cherished memory ever and, more often than not, they will tell you it's the birth of a child, the day they've got married, a lavish holiday they took, the day they graduated against all odds, the special celebration night for an award they received, or something else just as memorable.

On the other hand, some people will reply "The next one, the one I didn't create yet" or "Each one, I cherish them all".

[The three most cherished memories could be

from three completely different life areas]

It may seem like an easy thing to ask, and yet replying to such a question can feel daunting, confusing, or even "dangerous": The risk of saying something awkward or not aligned with social expectations is high.

Spending time Vs. Investing time... Can it be that simple?

"Time is money" is something most people will say at some point, either once in a while for adding some sense of urgency to a situation, or on a regular basis because it is a fundamental part of their belief system.

And yet, time is not money. Time is finite, money is not.

Time is limited, and we can never be sure how long we are going to live, even when we floss, eat healthily, and do all the right things.

Money is (virtually) endless. If we lose money, we can make more money. But when we lose time, it is gone for good.

[Time is definitely not money, but we can 

play with the idea anyway and use it to our advantage]

Still, since "Time is money" is something that resonates with plenty of people, let's play with it with a simple question.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #419. - Something worth a good cry

Another way to formulate this question could have been "What is important enough for you to move you to tears?".

The answer may vary, of course, and the range of emotions that could make us cry is also quite vast.

Some of us cry out of joy or happiness, others out of anger or frustration, and sometimes we just cry out of relief.

In one way or another... thinking about what touched us deeply lately is always worth some time and self-introspection.

[What has been so intense lately

to move you to tears for whatever reason?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"What did make you cry lately?"               

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Being vulnerable, Dealing with emotions, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #159. - Rethinking what crying is for

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #418. - There's no going back, and that's a good thing

For many people, "There's no going back" often sounds quite menacing and gloomy.

Something that "final" and conclusive has to be bad and scary... It has to be about something we are losing for good, right?

Sometimes, it is. Other times, it's actually a great opportunity and a gift: In those cases, it's all about what we are actually letting go of.

What if you would be sure that there's no going back to health problems, toxic relationships, unfulfilling work, and harmful habits?

[Let's see... Living in the past, plenty of baggage,
lack of sleep, among other things. How about you?]

Coaching question of the day: 

"For what in your life there's no going back?"                   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, No going back, Change of perspective, Life chapters, Long-lasting change, Growth mindset, Letting go

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #392. - Choosing progress

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #417. - Your own personal lead balloon

"To go down like a lead balloon" is not only a quite funny idiomatic expression but also a very effective metaphor.

And... it is definitely revealing.

What do we like, dislike, find cringeworthy, or impossible to accept?

Can we recognize some kind of pattern or rule of thumb for ourselves?

[It may look just like some sort of silly visual image,

and yet it contains a pretty powerful question]

Coaching question of the day: 

"What does usually go down with you like a lead balloon?"                  

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, English idioms, Likes and dislikes, Metaphors

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #359. - A new comparison

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #416. - Questions about heroes are like Matryoshka dolls

Today's question is one of my favorite questions at all, and yet it is also quite tricky.

Who and what is a hero, after all?

There's no right and wrong answer. A hero is perceived as such (by themselves and others, and the opinions may differ...) depending on the circumstances, the Zeitgeist, and many other factors as well.

True that, sure.

[Who can be seen as a hero, in your opinion?
This question is like a Matryoshka doll

for countless further questions...]

But what about us?

What does each of us consider relevant for being a hero?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #415. - Whatever the risk

Taking a risk is not about how big the risk is, but about how we feel:

How we feel about taking a risk overall, and how we feel about ourselves after taking a risk.

In the big scheme of things, sometimes taking a risk is a good decision, other times not so much.

At the same time, it's almost always a good thing to look back and realize we have been brave and took a risk.

Even when it didn't pan out in the end.

["Taking a risk" can mean anything.
As soon as you are out of your comfort zone,
you are taking a risk]

Coaching question of the day: 

"When was the last time you took a risk?"                

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Taking a risk, Resilience, Self-efficacy

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #235. - The next risk worth taking

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #414. - And invisible, and yet priceless gift

Growth is important, learning is important, self-development is important. True, true, true.

And yet we often forget something: Having fun, laughing, and having a good time is just as important.

The people in our lives that are fun to talk to and help us smile even during difficult times are among the most necessary people in our lives.

Even if we forget it sometimes (or most of the time).

[This is indeed one of those cases where
"The more, the merrier" applies]

Those people add value to our lives, a kind of value that is not always visible, and yet it is absolutely real and priceless.

Today's coaching question is an invitation to think of them, be thankful for them, and give them a call.

Coaching question of the day: 

"Who in your life is fun to talk to?" 

                                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Sense of humor, Emotional intelligence, Positive relationships, Resilience

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #18. - A good laugh

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #413. - The movie to star in...

Not every coaching question has to be incredibly serious in order to be effective, or useful.

The most playful questions are quite often also the most effective ones. Why?

Because we are not afraid to say something wrong, since there are no right and wrong answers.

Because the stakes are low and we can be quirky, fun, and a little bit more personal than usual.

[My answer? Well, for sure almost everything

with Doris Day and Audrey Hepburn!

And what about you?]

Today's question is a perfect example. Enjoy, and pick up your top three choices.

Coaching question of the day: 

"If you could star in an old movie, which one would you pick?"               

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Movie choices

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #136. - The movie to watch again and again

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