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Localization manager/translator and coach/intercultural consultant living in Berlin (Germany), passionate about diversity management and intercultural communication, self-awareness and coaching, SFBT and NVC, languages, cultures, body art, dancing, self-empowerment, and, last but not least, vegan gluten-free keto food and good movies. How about you?
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Thursday, July 19, 2018

From Gatsbying to going MIA, 8 examples of mirage friends' toxic behavior that you should avoid

What's your favorite podcast or radio station?
Zig Ziglar was used to saying that we all keep listening all day long to the famous WIIFM radio station...  As in What's In It For Me (WIIFM).
And, apparently, it is still absolutely true for the now so-called mirage friends, that take this concept to the next level.

Who's a mirage friend?
I'm pretty sure you met at least one of them, at some point in your life.

[In most cases, a mirage friend is not someone 
you should want to have around long-term. 
Just saying (1)]

Let me give you examples...
Eight of them, to be more precise:

#1. The one that doesn't reply to your e-mails or messages for weeks or even months and then texts you out of the blue, in order to know if you have plans for the day because... it would fit in their own schedule, the only one that counts.
#2. The one that makes plans with you and says they will let you know and then... BAAM!, missing in action (MIA) for no reason. Your calls and messages? Unanswered.

#4. The one that always waits for you to be the one that initiates the conversation or suggests something to do together. If you would not text them, you will not hear from them for months in a row.
#5. The one that contacts you... only when they have a specific agenda and need something from you (your money, your expertise, your time, your help with a job application, your couch, your car, and so on).

#6. The one that drops you a line only when they are looking for external validation, emotional stability or in order to brag about themselves When "Instagram obsession" is not enough, Gatsbying is the word you are looking for...
#7. The one that asks you how you are doing only to then make the whole conversation about them and how cool they are.
#8. The one that does a lot of lip service about the friendship and how important you are to them, and yet are always too busy to see or call you, if they are not... somehow bored or just killing time while traveling around.

[My Pinterest feed is worried about your mirage friends
as much as I am, apparently...
Just saying (2)]

Does this sound way too familiar?
Welcome to the land of the mirage friends, the "virtual" friends that pop up once in a while with only one shiny goal in mind: Feeling good about themselves and using you as a mirror of their own grandeur.

The most interesting question, at least to me, is: What are you going to do long-term and what for are they still in your life?
Just saying (3).

Tags: Mirage friendship, Toxic relationships, Gatsbying, Relationships standards

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