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As a life coach, I help people make decisions that fit who they truly are and who they want to become
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Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Are you trapped in the past, or in the future? Three words are enough for changing course - Part I

When we were children, we have been thought that there is the present, the past, and the future. 
We learned that we live in the present, that the past is our history and that the future depends on us and that it will be magnificent, adventurous, and exciting.

When we were children, we actually lived in the present: the world was a continuous source of discovery and novelty, and relationships with our loved ones were the most important thing. 
While playing and learning new things, we lose track of time and at the end of the day... there was so much to tell!

While growing up, we believe we are still living in the present, but we are almost always deceiving ourselves without knowing it. Because, in most cases, we are actually living in the past. Or in the future.

[The present is but one possible version of our past,
like it's the case for Gwyneth Paltrow/Helen. 
in Sliding Doors (1998) by Peter Howitt]

We live in the past if, instead of focusing on what is happening around us now, we dedicate our time and energy to what happened in our lives in a more or less recent past, asking unanswered questions, revisiting past events, appealing to what happened to interpret our present, often considered the only logical and possible consequence of our previous actions. 
That's a life imprisoned in the past, filled with regret for what we did not do. Melancholy. Sadness. Anger. Frustration. Bittersweet memories. Nostalgia. Not a great place to be.

["Fear not for the future, weep not for the past"
said Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)
He was right, for a change]

Living in the future is no good option either.
We live in the future if, instead of focusing on what is happening around us now, we dedicate our time and energy to what will happen in our lives in the near future, making predictions about what awaits us, fantasizing about our projects and achievements to come, forgetting about everything else because busy pursuing an important goal.

That's a life conditioned by the future, filled with anxiety about what awaits us. Impatience. Dissatisfaction. Restlessness. Frenetic activity. FOMO. Eternal comparison and competitiveness.

What's the alternative?
In the next post, we will talk about living in the present and the three words you need for changing course.

Tags: Living in the past, Living in the future, Self-awareness, Mindfulness, Self-empowerment, Quotes

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