"What are your KPIs for a good bar?", or five questions I get asked a lot on a daily basis and five questions (almost) nobody asks

Do you know a good bar? They ask.

And I go "Well, it depends. What's a good bar, for you?".

And they go "Where we can find good cocktails".

Ah, if just everything in life would be that simple.

A clear question, clear parameters, a clear answer follows, KPIs are fulfilled. Happy ending.

[A good bar? The one with good cocktails, they say.

My favorite one? Café Morgenrot's Heilige Welt:

Alcohol-free and incredibly sweeeeeet

Image credit: Bustle]

Still, I smile going home, while realizing that I get asked this question almost every single day, even if don't drink alcohol at all. And yet, to most people, I probably look like the kind of gal that goes for shots every single night. (Hint, I never did... but may the force of stereotypes be with you, young Skywalker)

So here you have the five questions I get asked the most, day in and day out, in no particular order:

#1. Do you know a good bar? ("Yes, I do") - (Did I get asked yesterday? Check)

#2. Do you have a cigarette? ("Nope, sorry. I don't smoke" - And nobody believes me) (Did I get asked yesterday? Check)

#3. Where can I find some drugs? ("No idea, sorry" - The same as above)

#4. Where are you from? ("What do you need this information for, right now?" - Puzzled looks follow) (Did I get asked yesterday? Check)

#5. Are your tattoos real? ("Yep, they are") (Did I get asked yesterday? Check)

4/5 within 24 hours is a good ratio, if you ask me.
And here you have five question I almost never get asked and I would love to help people with, in no particular order:

#1. Do you know where the nearest public library is? ("Hell, yes. Just try me")

#2. Do you know where the nearest museum is? ("Hell, yes. Just try me")

#3. Who's your favorite philosopher? ("Depending on the mood of the day, Blaise Pascal, Michel de Montaigne or Friedrich Nietzsche. And yours?")

[Michel Eyquem de Montaigne [1533-1592], 

Lord of Montaigne and author of the 'Essays', 

was a really cool dude]

#4. What do you want to achieve in the next five years? ("That's a great question! Changing the world around me, while working as a coach for diversity management and intercultural communication")

#5. What's the best place to visit in Berlin? (That's the joker question, depending on the person asking it and their needs/taste/way of life)

How about you?

What's your top five, and what those questions could reveal about how people perceive you, at least superficially?

Tags: Questions to get asked for, Where are you from, Weird questions, What not to ask first, Assumptions

What to read next:

"Why Berlin?" or my very personal answer to THE question about the life as an expat in Berlin 

Visiting the blog for the first time? Aloha!

Where to start, if you are new