How to be the best dancing partner ever, even if you are not able to dance well (yet)

"I've never been good at dancing", he says, while smiling at me, a little bit shy and self-conscious.

And I am sure that he means it.

Like if this would be a good reason not to dance.

Thing is, I have the impression he's missing the whole point about dancing, like most people do.

If your feet are firmly planted on the ground you'll never be able to dance. 

Iris Johansen

Unless you are on a Broadway stage or on your epic tour in Vegas and people paid good money for seeing you dancing and creating crazy dance numbers in front of them, nobody cares.

Nobody is going to give you a score, to be pissed off if you are not perfect, to wait for you to make just one tiny mistake in order to transform your evening into a living hell.

On the dance floor, you are just a sonder like everybody else and everyone is too busy while minding their own business, for noticing you.

[Are you having the time of your life on the dance floor,

just like Johnny Castle and Baby Houseman

in Emile Ardolino's cult movie Dirty Dancing (USA 1987)?]

At the same time, you are also the star. The star of your own time on the dance floor... Even more, if you are in good company and someone wants to dance with you.

"But I would look stupid and lose my face", he says.

And again, I am sure that he means it. And I have to ask myself: "In front of whom, exactly?".

Truth is...

Dancing is not about looking cool. It is way more about having fun, being in the moment, celebrating life, enjoying good music, working out, moving and connecting.

It's about experiencing this one, special unique moment, that you will never experience again, and be there, completely there, and lose yourself to dance.

Even if you are not a terrific dancer yet.

["Desbundar" is a Portuguese verb, 
untranslatable into English,

referring to letting go and having fun...

just like you should do while dancing]

Dancing, if you are not doing it solo heavily on drugs on some techno floor, is like speaking a language. You can for sure talk to yourself but, most of the time, you are actually talking to someone else and the communication evolves based on how both people are talking and reacting to each other.

On the dance floor, it is the same: You do something, your dancing partner reacts to that, you do something else, and your dancing partner follows or starts something new you can get along with.

It is a fluid exchange, one dance step after the other, one emotional bid after the other, one smile after the other - an exchange of energy, emotion, attention, fun and sometimes even attraction.

If you are not a professional dancer, it would be difficult for you to really enjoy dancing with someone you dislike as a person or find physically disgusting.

I don't want to force him, so I keep dancing on my own, while having fun and enjoying the music. And, suddenly, he is on my side and he is dancing and having fun with me, even if he's not a good dancer yet, even if he doesn't feel comfortable in front of everybody, even if he's not in his element right now and probably he would not have danced at all, if I would not have asked.

Someone here has got some b***s, ladies and gents.

And the fact that he's dancing with me under these circumstances, just because he is glad to have fun with me at this moment, and that he is willing to pay the price for it without looking as cool as he would like to, makes him the best dancing partner I could wish for.

Learn to dance, young men, learn to dance. Make jokes and learn to dance and you can land a Kristen Bell.

Dax Shepard

[Almost as beautiful as the magic ruby slippers 

from The Wizard of Oz...

Irregular Choice's Lazy River in red...

My salsa dancing shoes!]

Are you happy to be there?

Are you present and aware?

Are you willing to make a connection?

Are you interested in the person in front of you?

Are you ready to let go and to enjoy, no matter what?

Are you glad to have a chance to make someone else feel special?

Then you are definitely a good dancing partner.

Life is long and, over time, you can embrace the anticipation and learn the dance steps, if you want to. But the most important thing will always be your attitude on the dance floor, towards yourself and the person in front of you.

Be thankful you need to wait--especially for something you really want. The anticipation alone is worth it.

Besides, waiting for what you want--not what you need, but what you want--is a luxury only those who are already blessed can afford.

Jeff Haden

This one is for Lorenzo.

Tags: Dancing, Dancing mindset, Desbundar, Mindfulness, Quotes, Untranslatable words

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