"Hi. You look tired." (Hi, nice to see you as well...)
"Your hair is a bit too blue near the skin, today." (In comparison to...?)
"How surprising that you are on time!" (Seriously? This is how you try to be nice to people?)
"Your hair is so long! Well, I guess that you should get a new haircut soon, because nobody should have long hair after 35." (That's what she said)
"You know that taking supplements means that you are just going to make expensive pee, right?" (I don't remember to have asked for your opinion about the matter, but thank you for providing it unsolicited and unwanted)
"You know that taking supplements means that you are just going to make expensive pee, right?" (I don't remember to have asked for your opinion about the matter, but thank you for providing it unsolicited and unwanted)
Well, thanks... for nothing.
The test of good manners is to be able to put up pleasantly with bad ones.
The test of good manners is to be able to put up pleasantly with bad ones.
Wendell Wilkie
[Marshall Rosenberg called nonviolent communication
"giraffe language", as in contraposition to "wolf language",
common language loaded with violence, recrimination, and negativity,
often used by most people in everyday life and even more under pressure.
Image credit: ISO Republic]
The way we talk to people, we initiate an interaction, we struck up a conversation or we greet someone that just arrived where we are spending some time can be either a welcoming icebreaker or a hidden deal-breaker.
Which kind of energy do you want to add to the mix, when you are entering a room, joining a conversation or getting to know someone?
Which kind of atmosphere and tone do you want to establish, and which kind of emotions do you want to convey or to be associated with?
And above all...
How do you want them to feel, after meeting you?
Energized, motivated, curious, relaxed... or just tired and somehow miserable?
Good manners are a combination of intelligence, education, taste, and style mixed together so that you don't need any of those things.
P. J. O'Rourke
Truth is... in most cases, they are not going to tell you and it is up to you to notice and to take responsibility for your behavior.
Good manners are not only about knowing which fork and which glass you should use during a fancy dinner but also about how to take care of the people around you, while respecting them, their opinion and their boundaries. And also their emotional well-being.
[How about being a rainbow shiny cloud, instead of a rainy one?
Image credit: Painting Migration | Following you, darling
(accept commissions) by Saatchi Art Artist Yuliya Martynova]
The way you are going to make them feel, is the way they are going to think about you, interaction after interaction, and it is up to you to notice if you, of course with the best intentions in mind, are either shining and spreading joy and warmth, or are just being the proverbial rainy cloud following someone around.
Don't be that person.
Before saying something, ask yourself what the giraffe in you would say and if she would consider your words nice, helpful and related to a positive intent. Are your words going to build up your interlocutor and to show your attention and appreciation?
If not, let it be.
The giraffe in you will appreciate.
Tags: Self-awareness, Pleasant interactions, Nonviolent communication, Giraffe language, Good manners, Quotes, Self-care
What to read next:
Visiting the blog for the first time? Aloha!
