How would it look like, if you would play baseball in real life, without actually playing baseball?That's exactly what Emily Friehl, the main female character of the romantic comedy A Lot Like Love does.
Perfectly played by Amanda Peet, Emily is at first a young, "angry" woman with a grunge look and a sharp sense of irony, that assigns "strikes" to the people around her, and above all to men, when they let her down and don't live up to her standards.
Over time, as Emily grows and evolves as a person and as a woman, the strikes system ceases to be in place, and yet it still makes it to one of the best quotes from the movie:
Perfectly played by Amanda Peet, Emily is at first a young, "angry" woman with a grunge look and a sharp sense of irony, that assigns "strikes" to the people around her, and above all to men, when they let her down and don't live up to her standards.
[Young, beautiful, angry and a little bit grunge:
Amanda Peet as Emily Friehl as she first appears in the movie]
Over time, as Emily grows and evolves as a person and as a woman, the strikes system ceases to be in place, and yet it still makes it to one of the best quotes from the movie:
Emily, I'm flat broke. I don't have a job. I don't have a plan. And I know, I know I'm probably six years too late, but will you give me strike one back?
Ashton Kutcher as Oliver Martin
A Lot Like Love (2005) by Nigel Cole
I'm glad you ask.
Even without being as strict and judging as Emily is, we have all played the same game, sooner or later. Sometimes, we still do.
Which is not a bad thing per se, if we are aware that we are doing so. And we use the system as a precious asset for detecting any kind of danger, red flags, sociopaths, emotional vampires, passive-aggressive people and other human beings not mean by default and yet not that able to have our best interests at heart, since they are busy with their own issues and their own suffering.
[Hint: They are not the people you should surround yourself with, in the long-run]
[How many chances are you going to offer
to the people around you, when they let you down?]
On the topic, Mark Manson has very clear and poignant advice to offer: "Most people deserve a second chance. Few people deserve a third".
Depending on the circumstances, I highly agree.
At a very young age, I stumbled upon the motto "If you fail me once is on you, if you fail me twice is on you, and if you fail me a third time is on me". It clicked with me and I have to say that it never let me down, so far.
[What's the life motto or the mantra that gives you guidance?
What's the principle behind it?
Pic: Me, December 2018 © Radoslaw Kosiada]
People always show us who they are from the very beginning. Just, most of the times, we don't want to see it or to believe it, because we are busy while projecting on others what we hope for, what we are emotionally attached to or what we desperately want to see. Or even all these things at once.
What I had a chance to observe over time is that most people have no problem whatsoever in defining how a strike three would look like to them and what would that means, nor in recognizing or acknowledging the strikes when they occur.
The difficult, and sometimes impossible, part was way more taking responsibility, following up, and letting their actions speak for them. Which made any warning about a strike three absolutely pointless.
What's your take on this?
How does a "strike three" look like, for you?
Tags: Coaching questions, Strike three, Giving a second chance, A Lot Like Love, Mindset, Quotes, Self-care
What to read next:
The question you should ask yourself before letting go for good someone you really like
Visiting the blog for the first time? Aloha!
Where to start, if you are new
What to read next:
The question you should ask yourself before letting go for good someone you really like
Visiting the blog for the first time? Aloha!
Where to start, if you are new
