One coaching question a day - #18. What's your strike three?

How would it look like, if you would play baseball in real life, without actually playing baseball?That's exactly what Emily Friehl, the main female character of the romantic comedy A Lot Like Love does.

Perfectly played by Amanda Peet, Emily is at first a young, "angry" woman with a grunge look and a sharp sense of irony, that assigns "strikes" to the people around her, and above all to men, when they let her down and don't live up to her standards.

[Young, beautiful, angry and a little bit grunge:

Amanda Peet as Emily Friehl as she first appears in the movie]

Over time, as Emily grows and evolves as a person and as a woman, the strikes system ceases to be in place, and yet it still makes it to one of the best quotes from the movie:

Emily, I'm flat broke. I don't have a job. I don't have a plan. And I know, I know I'm probably six years too late, but will you give me strike one back?

Ashton Kutcher as Oliver Martin

A Lot Like Love (2005) by Nigel Cole

How this has to do with you and with the coaching question of today, you may ask?

Singleness made in Berlin - #6. The ultimate shit test while choosing a mate is...

"You sound like one of those dance teachers in one of those cheesy movies from the Eighties, giving your peep talk in front of lazy and unmotivated students", he says.

And, well... probably he is right.

While talking about dancing, I could go on and on for hours.

Even more, if the topic is dancing & flirting.

[Cheesy dance movies from the Eighties?

Let's go for Flashdance (USA 1983), please!]

Flirting can be fun, and yet so tricky, defined by ambivalence, doubt, possibilities, interpretations, allusions, double meanings, weird clues, hidden innuendo, and ambiguity.

That tiny little bit of Holly Golightly in each of us, and how to take care of it

There is a little bit of Holly Golightly in each of us, and it is not a matter of age, gender, religion, social status, happiness gradient or sexual orientation. It is not a matter of how rich or poor you are and where you actually live. We are all a little bit Holly Golightly, some days.

Some of us are just like Holly more days than others, but this is another story. Let's save that one for another post and let's go back to Holly, shall we?

What does Holly do, when our elegant and charming lady is not happy?

This is an easy one: she goes to Tiffany's, of course.

[Breakfast of champions, or...

a cup of coffee and a croissant in front of Tiffany's, NYC]

Holly Golightly -  You know those days when you get the mean reds?

'The Notebook', or why Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun is considered kind of a mirage by women of the Facebook generation

Together with Dirty Dancing (Emile Ardolino, 1987), Titanic (James Cameron, USA 1997) and William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet (Baz Luhrmann, 1996), The Notebook by Nick Cassavetes is one of those 'love movies' called chick flick that almost every woman between 15 and 45 living in a Western country has seen.
At least once. Often, way more often than that.

Allie - You smug bastard. I hate you for saying that.

Noah - You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing.

A - You arrogant son of a bitch.

N - Would you just stay with me?

A-  Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'

N - Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.

A - So what?

N - So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.

Rachel McAdams as Allie Nelson

Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun

The Notebook by Nick Cassavetes (USA, 2004)

[Dancing on the street, at night, no matter what...

or one of the most romantic scenes from The Notebook]

It doesn't matter that much if the woman has liked them or not.

The first secret of intercultural communication, or why screaming a name in the wrong language is not always the best choice for making new friends

It is a wonderful and sunny Spring evening in Berlin and I am glad to meet new, interesting people during a well-organized event. 

The Vegan buffet is delicious, people are nice and the atmosphere is friendly and relaxed.

On my way to the kitchen, to help a little out with the dirty dishes, I suddenly hear... him.

Experience is not what happens to you, it's what you do with what happens to you.

Aldous Huxley [1894-1963]

The guy is tall, good-looking (but somehow not attractive) and fit.

The guy is an actor, and a voice coach, and a radio speaker, and of course an alternative practitioner too. And probably a dozen of other things.

The guy... Or maybe I should use the word "man" for describing him since he is definitely over forty years old.

And yet, he doesn't act at all like a man. He reminds me more and more of a scared, insecure and troubled child desperately looking for attention, any kind of it.

And if he would just not be so rude and verbally aggressive, I would probably feel very sorry for him. For his pain, his fears, his compelling need to be seen.

[When it is about attention seeking behavior, 

I still prefer Calvin and Hobbes, and you?]

Who could be the new Doris Day? Or do we still have a "Girl next door", after all?

Yesterday I have seen, for the first time after ages, That Touch of Mink (1962), a still enjoyable comedy directed by Delbert Mann.

It's really easy to see how similar Cary Grant and George Clooney look like, don't they? And yet I spent the whole movie by asking myself who the new Doris Day eventually could be. Who could be the perfect girl next door? A blond one, if possible?

[Doris Day and Cary Grant in That Touch of Mink]

In a lot of magazines and websites it's possible to find some new Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner or Jean Harlow, once in a while. Sometimes you can read something about the new Katharine Hepburn... if they are talking about Cate Blanchett, of course.

But who could be the new Doris Day?

Meg Ryan? Jennifer Aniston? Or maybe Renée Zellweger, as Peyton Reed suggested with his movie-tribute Down with Love (2003)?

[Ewan McGregor and Renée Zellweger in Down with Love]

What do you think? Did I forget someone?

--

Gestern, nach einer ganzen Weile, habe ich mir die lustige Komödie von Delbert Mann "Ein Hauch von Nerz" (1962) noch mal angesehen.

Cary Grant und George Clooney sehen sich sehr ähnlich, oder? Ich habe mich aber den ganzen Film lang gefragt: Wer könnte die neue Doris Day sein? Wer könnte das perfekte und wenn möglich blonde "Mädchen von nebenan" sein?

Die Zeitungen und die Webseiten stellen oft eine neue Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner oder Jean Harlow dar. Sie stellen sogar mal eine neue Katharine Hepburn vor... wenn es um Cate Blanchett geht.

Wer könnte aber die neue Doris Day sein?

Meg Ryan? Jennifer Aniston? Oder vielleicht Renée Zellweger, wie der Regisseur Peyton Reed in seinem Fim "Down with Love - Zum Teufel mit der Liebe!"(2003) angedeutet hat?

Was sagt Ihr? Habe ich jemanden vergessen?

--

Ieri ho rivisto dopo secoli "Il visone sulla pelle" (1962), deliziosa commedia firmata Delbert Mann, e nonostante sia davvero facile notare la grande somiglianza tra Cary Grant e George Clooney, mi sono chiesta per tutto il film: chi potrebbe essere la nuova Doris Day?

Le riviste e i siti Internet parlano spesso della nuova Audrey Hepburn, della nuova Marilyn Monroe, della nuova Ava Gardner, della nuova Jean Harlow. Persino della nuova Katharine Hepburn... quando si tratta di presentare Cate Blanchett, naturalmente.

Ma chi potrebbe essere la nuova Doris Day? Chi potrebbe essere la perfetta "Ragazza della porta accanto", meglio se bionda?

Meg Ryan? Jennifer Aniston? Magari Renée Zellweger, come ha suggerito Peyton Reed con il suo tributo "Abbasso l'amore" (2003)?

Che ne pensate? Mi sto dimenticando di qualcuno?

Tags: Doris Day, Renée Zellweger, Cary Grant, George Clooney, That Touch of Mink, Ein Hauch von Nerz, Il visone sulla pelle, Girl next door, Down with Love, Abbasso l'amore

Tears on my pillow? Better a giant Ryan Gosling, thanks!

Crazy, Stupid, Love. was funny, but also a little bit too conventional. But with that Dirty Dancing scene...

The Believer is like an hidden gem. How many people have seen it? It's from 2001 and it is absolutely still worth it!

The Notebook was toooooo sweet and in Italian I would say 'Too much saccarine for me, thanks'. But the famous scenes with all that kissing were amazing. Which girl wouldn't like to be kissed like that?!

Murder by Numbers was the typical Sandra Bullock movie. Take it or leave it. I will take it.

[Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in Crazy, Stupid, Love

These two actors are just so good together]

I really enjoyed Half Nelson for the bravery of the plot. 

And I think that Lars and the Real Girl is better than a lot of anthropological essays about our society, systemic therapy and group dynamics.

Blue Valentine made me almost cry. Ok, you got me. I cried like a baby.

And All good things was disturbing and challenging, even if I always wanted to visit Vermont, once in a life.

Everybody has seen The Ides of March, most because of George Clooney anyway.

But Drive is really something special, even more special if you know The Driver by Walter Hill, with Ryan O'Neal, Bruce Dern and Isabelle Adjani.

I have missed out The United States of Leland, The Slaughter Rule and Remember the Titans, it's true. And I can't imagine Ryan as a young Hercules at all.

But I can say that I know Ryan Gosling's movies pretty well and that I like a lot his acting style, his professional and personal choices and the way he wants to be something different from just another hot guy like the others and he works hard for it.

So I really had to smile when a friend of mine sent me this Ryan Gosling "Husband Pillow": something that a lot of women could consider perfect for bad days, bad hair days, bad eye-liner days and for every other day as well.

[Image Source: Life for Films]

Genial, isn't?

I am sure that a company that would actually produce this kind of commodity would become rich in a couple of weeks. Or maybe hours...
And what a hell of perfect gift for the woman that has "almost" everything already...

Thanks T. for the link!

Tags: Ryan Gosling, Hey Girl meme, Drive, Ryan Gosling Husband Pillow

What to read next:

'The Notebook', or why Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun is considered kind of a mirage by women of the Facebook generation