Coaching Monday: Someone to share a laugh with

We should all laugh more. Under challenging circumstances, on bad days, while dealing with what's difficult... we should laugh even more.

Laughing doesn't mean we don't take something seriously. More often than not, it means that we are resilient, open to finding the good sides of something unpleasant, and lucky to have someone to laugh with.

[Another way to ask this question may be:

"Did you laugh in good company today?"]

"Who is able to make you laugh effortlessly?"   

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Resilience, Sense of humor

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #369. - The hidden side of resilience

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #414. - And invisible, and yet priceless gift

Growth is important, learning is important, self-development is important. True, true, true.

And yet we often forget something: Having fun, laughing, and having a good time is just as important.

The people in our lives that are fun to talk to and help us smile even during difficult times are among the most necessary people in our lives.

Even if we forget it sometimes (or most of the time).

[This is indeed one of those cases where
"The more, the merrier" applies]

Those people add value to our lives, a kind of value that is not always visible, and yet it is absolutely real and priceless.

Today's coaching question is an invitation to think of them, be thankful for them, and give them a call.

Coaching question of the day: 

"Who in your life is fun to talk to?" 

                                                

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Sense of humor, Emotional intelligence, Positive relationships, Resilience

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #18. - A good laugh

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #377. - Your favorite joke

"That's a joke", we say when something is either unreasonable, or insulting, or both.
"You must be joking", we say when we cannot believe that the person in front of us is serious, or we consider what they are saying upsetting, or impossible.

Quite often, we depict jokes as something superfluous, useless, or childish.
And yet, a very good joke can help turn a situation for the better, release tension, solve a conflict, find common ground with someone else, and relax.

[My favorite joke is about a frog with a big mouth.

How about yours?]

Having a favorite (good) joke close at hand is like having a superpower, and it's an endless source of resilience and mental strength.
How about finding your own today?

Coaching question of the day: 

"What's your favorite joke?"                              
                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Resilience, Sense of humor, Having a favorite joke, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #369. - The hidden side of resilience

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #369. - The hidden side of resilience

Resilience is often associated with strength, the ability to own a story and being in control, flexibility, and a talent for thriving under no matter which kind of circumstances.

All correct, all appropriate. But what about having a good sense of humor as well?

If we are able to laugh about something, it means that we are able to create a healthy distance between ourselves and a situation, an issue, a problem, a challenge. You name it.

If we can laugh about it, it means we can be resilient enough to deal with it.

[It may be useful in any area of your life, 

dealing with a specific kind of situation or a recurring trigger, 

or during an unpleasant interaction...]

Maybe not immediately, but eventually. 

And with a smile on our faces.

Coaching question of the day: 

"Where in your life could you use a good sense of humor?"                      

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Resilience, Sense of humor

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #112. - The Funny Girl in you

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #112. - The Funny Girl in you

Funny Girl (1968) by William Wyler is one of those movies where there is no middle ground: people either love it or hate it.
And yet the movie has been quoted, spoofed, paid homage to for over fifty years. And for good reason.

Still, if you are not a fan and there is only one thing you should remember about the movie, I hope it is Fanny Brice's attitude about humor and self-mockery.
Like she is happy to explain to a puzzled Florenz Ziegfeld, it makes a difference if someone is laughing at you or with you. And while laughing about herself, alone or together with others, she is in charge. She can choose.

[Laughing about oneself, with self-mockery and compassion,

is surprisingly empowering and liberating]

It couldn't be more true, and yet very often we forget that.
Above all, about ourselves.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #57. - Your playful side

Each of us has many sides. Many personality traits. Many parts with their own dreams, goals, fears, and a specific agenda.

This makes us interesting, and human.

As long as we are flexible enough to give space and (some) freedom to all our sides.

Even the ones that most people don't know about us.

[It can become pretty crowded inside of each of us

and it can be a good party... most of the time]

Coaching question of the day: 

"How can you show others your playful side today?"

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Playfulness, Personality traits

What to read next:

Can you tell the difference between self-confidence and resilience, and is there any, to begin with?

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Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #18. - A good laugh

Is it still possible to laugh during a crisis of huge proportions?

Someone could object that this would just be a sign of bad taste and lack of empathy. It may be. What if irony and sense of humor could help us staying mentally sane and keeping our cool instead?

[If 2020 would be a service or a subscription,

would you recommend it? Pure genius]

Coaching question of the day: 

"What did make you laugh this week?" 

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Sense of humor, Keep cool

What to read next:

One coaching question a day - #34. Laughing about what?

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One coaching question a day - #34. Laughing about what?

"One day, you are going to laugh about this", they say.
And more often than not, they are right.

It doesn't matter how terrible something can look right now.
Over time, we are usually able to laugh about funny and also not so funny situations and stories about our life. About ourselves. About the past.

[Gaining some emotional distance 

and practicing forgiveness and reframing

are the tools of the trade, in order to laugh...]

However, why waiting?
How about learning to see the funny side of things and situations right now?
What are you going to laugh about today?

PS. This one is for Wibke, that thought me how to laugh about the hard stuff.

Tags: Coaching questions, Self-care, Laughing, Dealing with difficult things with humor, Reframing Self-awareness

What to read next:
Why happiness is... the most important muscle in everybody's body and how to train it

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One coaching question a day - #6. What does karaoke say about you?

Being drunk will show your true colors and enhance the quirky (or weird) sides of your personality that usually don't make it that much to the spotlight, they say. 

And they have been saying it for over 2,000 years, according to the old Latin saying "In vino veritas" (translated as "In wine there is truth").

So, probably it is true, at least to some extent.

If you ask me, I believe something similar to be true about... karaoke.

Yep, karaoke.

[When it's karaoke time, it is "mandatory" for me to go for

Elton John, Cher, the ABBA or "Disco 2000" by Pulp.

How about you?]

When it's karaoke time, what's the song you "have" to sing no matter what and it's always a blast? (for you, and hopefully also for those around you... I would add ^^)

Lunchbreak at Dussmann #1. Books in display - Unicorns, flamingos, mermaids or llamas?

In Blake Edwards' classic movie adaptation of Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's, the socialite Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn, the one and only) explains to her puzzled and amused neighbor Paul Varjak (George Peppard, also gorgeous) what to do when you have the mean reds, that could be probably described as a sort of panic attack or anxiety attack:

Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!

[Nobody was able to rock the little black dress like this lady:

Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly,

dressed by Hubert de Givenchy, with Edith Head's supervision]

I like to think that, mean reds aside, we all have our own personal version of Tiffany's.
A kind of magic place where you can switch mood in a matter of seconds and feel safe, in peace and full of hope that, no matter what, everything is going to be alright, eventually. Every single time.

I am so lucky that I even have twice magic places: Berlin-Dahlem Botanical Garden and Dussmann.

25 acronyms to use while chatting, texting and messaging in your personal and professional life

Chatting, texting and messaging should be like fun, right?

And... it is not rocket science, even if the devices we use for that keep getting upgraded and improved and are now as complex as a small space shuttle could be.

Are you a fan of the good ol' emoticons or do you prefer emojis?

Telegram stickers or any type of GIFs?

Do you read all your messages immediately or do you check the phone twice a day and that's it?

How often do you reply? Or are you the one starting a new thread after the other? Group chat, anyone?

In the end, of course, having fun with texting is all about sharing the same expectations, communication style, and language.

And the same acronyms! Below you can find 25 of the most used ones. Enjoy!

[Repeat after me: your keyboard is your friend.

Even more, if you start writing "AFK" when necessary.

Image credit: ISO Republic]

AFK - Away From Keyboard

BFF - Best Female Friend

BRB - Be Right Back

In the big, flashy and groovy dance act that is your day-to-day life, choosing Disraeli's choreography style could make all the difference

"This should work this way, if everyone would do their part", she says.

And she is right, I have no doubt about that. 

Still, this is very probably not how things are going to look like, in the end.

It is tempting to plan, to think and to act as if we were living in an ideal world and to hope for the perfect scenario to happen every single time.

Thing is... We don't live in an ideal world and the perfect scenario rarely happens.

["All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players"

is a famous quote from William Shakespeare's As You Like It.

The world can also be seen as a dance floor...

And even if not all moves are created equal, 

they are going to be part of your choreography, at some point...

Thanks to Sonja for the pic!]

You can either hope for the world to meet your expectations or decide to be open for what could differ from them and to embrace serendipity, while dealing with the situation you are exposed to.

What kind of observer's point of view are you choosing for yourself?, or the one with Goofy

A quote I know only in Italian, and that apparently has been ascribed to the Italian version of Disney's Goofy, called Pippo, goes like this:

È strano come una discesa, vista dal basso, somigli tanto a una salita.
In English, it could sound like 'It's very strange how a journey downhill, if seen from below, looks so similar to a journey uphill'.

[A journey uphill or downhill?
Image credit: Mike Putnam Photography]

It helps me every day to remember that very often almost everything in life, it doesn't matter if we are talking about a situation, a job, or a relationship, has no unique "meaning" and the way we see it depends on the observer's point of view we are choosing for ourselves.
Even if we don't know we're choosing one.

I am convinced that we can apply the same concept to people. What do I mean?
Often, in the past, I thought that I was 'too much' [put your favorite "difficult" adjective here] for some people around me, but over the years I learned that sometimes some people are simply "not enough" for me.

What's your observer's point of view?
What is too much, or not enough?

Tags: Perception, Point of view, Reframing, Quotes, Self-awareness

What to read next:

Which one of these 9 different possibilities to describe how full a glass of water is resonates with you? 

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Tears on my pillow? Better a giant Ryan Gosling, thanks!

Crazy, Stupid, Love. was funny, but also a little bit too conventional. But with that Dirty Dancing scene...

The Believer is like an hidden gem. How many people have seen it? It's from 2001 and it is absolutely still worth it!

The Notebook was toooooo sweet and in Italian I would say 'Too much saccarine for me, thanks'. But the famous scenes with all that kissing were amazing. Which girl wouldn't like to be kissed like that?!

Murder by Numbers was the typical Sandra Bullock movie. Take it or leave it. I will take it.

[Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in Crazy, Stupid, Love

These two actors are just so good together]

I really enjoyed Half Nelson for the bravery of the plot. 

And I think that Lars and the Real Girl is better than a lot of anthropological essays about our society, systemic therapy and group dynamics.

Blue Valentine made me almost cry. Ok, you got me. I cried like a baby.

And All good things was disturbing and challenging, even if I always wanted to visit Vermont, once in a life.

Everybody has seen The Ides of March, most because of George Clooney anyway.

But Drive is really something special, even more special if you know The Driver by Walter Hill, with Ryan O'Neal, Bruce Dern and Isabelle Adjani.

I have missed out The United States of Leland, The Slaughter Rule and Remember the Titans, it's true. And I can't imagine Ryan as a young Hercules at all.

But I can say that I know Ryan Gosling's movies pretty well and that I like a lot his acting style, his professional and personal choices and the way he wants to be something different from just another hot guy like the others and he works hard for it.

So I really had to smile when a friend of mine sent me this Ryan Gosling "Husband Pillow": something that a lot of women could consider perfect for bad days, bad hair days, bad eye-liner days and for every other day as well.

[Image Source: Life for Films]

Genial, isn't?

I am sure that a company that would actually produce this kind of commodity would become rich in a couple of weeks. Or maybe hours...
And what a hell of perfect gift for the woman that has "almost" everything already...

Thanks T. for the link!

Tags: Ryan Gosling, Hey Girl meme, Drive, Ryan Gosling Husband Pillow

What to read next:

'The Notebook', or why Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun is considered kind of a mirage by women of the Facebook generation

What do consultants actually do? A funny although veg-unfriendly story with a specific amount of sheep

I've received this sheep story from a LinkedIn contact of mine and I found it absolutely funny, although it is not veg-friendly.
Still, I think is a very effective metaphor of how a lot of (not so good) consultants actually work and deal with people.

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd: 'If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?'

[Purple Wool by Vicki Fredricks]

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered: 'Sure'.

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the Internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130 pages long report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says: 'You have exactly 1586 sheep'.