Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #368. - Mind-blowing

"Curiosity killed the cat", the old proverb goes.

It may be. And yet staying curious is one of the secret superpowers of people able to grow, to change, to make decisions based on resilience instead of fear.

Creating a habit out of our curiosity is not only about asking ourselves important questions on a regular basis and testing our assumptions and expectations but also about being open to trying out something new, discovering other points of view, changing our minds... or letting something, or someone, blow our minds altogether.

[Reading about the life of Kōnosuke Matsushita

has been truly mind-blowing this week. How about you?]

It may feel risky, but it is worth it. 

Let's start today!

Coaching question of the day: 

"Who or what did blow your mind during the past week?"                      

                                                    

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Self-reflection, Growth mindset, Openness, Patience, Staying curious, Self-actualization, Curiosity 

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #318. - A change of mind, once in a while

Visiting the blog for the first time? Aloha!

Where to start, if you are new

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #367. - Aiming at accountability, long-term

A not better specified "African proverb" has been inhabiting the Internet for quite some time now and it goes "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
Even if the source of the proverb is not clear, the message it conveys couldn't be clearer: If you want to go where it's worth going, you will need the right people around you.

"Going together" can mean different things to different people.
One of my favorite ways of looking at it is the concept of accountability and what defines a good accountability partner.

[A mentor, your best friend, a coach, your loved ones,
or even a colleague or a Mastermind partner: Who's there for you?]

In a nutshell, a good accountability partner is someone that is willing and able to be there, have our back, call out our excuses if necessary, provide not only words of encouragement but also constructive feedback, and keep doing it as we go.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #246. - Walking the talk

Talking about something important for us and then going "I may or may not do that, someday" is one option. 

Another option is actually walking the talk.

Walking the talk is often hard - otherwise, everyone else would be doing it already, and that's usually not the case. This is one of the reasons why being able to commit to something and to work on it consistently tends to attract a lot of attention from the people around us, including plenty of unrequested and not always constructive feedback.

[So far walking the talk was not your thing?
No biggie, it happens. What matters is

what you are going to do from now on]

And yet, no matter what others are or are not doing or saying, what counts is what we are doing, every single day.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #244. - Your biggest hope

Hope dies last, they say. And also that while there's life, there's hope.

They have been saying it in different European languages for many centuries, at least since Hesiod described Hope as the only thing left behind when the mythological Pandora opened the mysterious Pandora's box (actually a jar, but I digress).

Hope is a true game-changer, both in our daily life and during challenging and extreme situations. 

Furthermore, countless studies show that it's definitely something we need in order to stay healthy, motivated, and productive over time.

[Your biggest hope can be something huge,

but also something tiny... No boundaries, no judgment]

Without hope, it's quite difficult, if not impossible, to be resilient, to feel productive, to get curious. What for if there's no hope, after all?

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #235. - The next risk worth taking

Leaving aside the famous '80s teen comedy that consecrated the then 21-years-old Tom Cruise as a star and the creative alcoholic suggestions of Urban Dictionary, a "risky business" is, by definition of Merriam-Webster, "a situation or activity that involves the possibility of being hurt".

There is indeed a reason behind our habit to consider taking a risk in life as... risky. Because, well, it is.

Sometimes, taking a risk means experiencing a blow that may be painful in the short-term and yet life-changing in the long-term.

[While thinking about this question,

let's keep in mind how resilient and brave you can be]

What can make the difference is our trust in our self-efficacy and resilience: Believing that, no matter what, we will survive and thrive, can make taking a risk less scary in our eyes.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #215. - The value of anticipation

Among the German sayings that could sound a little bit off, at least the first time you should hear them, my favorite is "Vorfreude ist die schönste Freude", which means "Anticipation is the most beautiful kind of joy".

Anticipating something, craving and desiring, counting the hours until something will happen, or even just being eager to cherish and enjoy an experience, an event, an encounter, or whatever can make us happy... indeed means being happy already, spending our time in a very special and cheerful state of mind.

[Looking forward to something

and enjoying something are two sides of the same coin]

More often than not, we are quite impatient to "get to the point" and keep ourselves busy while "passing the time" until the designated moment will occur. That's one way to look at it.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #214. - The golden part of your day, every day

One of the most well-known Italian old proverbs, so famous that it has even been used in the Italian version of Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, declares that "Il mattino ha l'oro in bocca".

That's the equivalent of the English "The early bird catches the worm" and yet, literally, it means "The morning has gold in its mouth".

Besides the weirdness of that image, I always loved the idea of seeing the morning as a golden moment, a special time in the day where everything can feel precious, rare, and valuable.

[How much time do you dedicate to yourself

and your morning routine each day?]

Since I have been a night-owl my whole life, my concept of "morning" has always been a little bit different from the most traditional ones, and yet even night-owls can have their own morning routine.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #189. - Better safe than sorry

"Better safe than sorry" is something we have all said, at some point in our lives.
Maybe not as often as the Norvegian singer Morten Harket in the famous A-ha's hit "Take On Me", but probably still pretty often.

According to Oxford Languages, the old proverb means "It's wiser to be cautious and careful than to be hasty or rash and so do something you may later regret."
It could be seen as an invitation to be judicious, self-aware, and forward-thinking.

[Being sorry means taking responsibility for your emotions

You are truly sorry? Good, time to own it!]

The funny thing, though, is that, in order to be safe instead of sorry, we actually say "I am sorry" incessantly.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #188. - Dealing with the unexpected

There's one old Yiddish proverb made famous by Woody Allen in the version "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans" and, to me, it is clear why it has been quoted again and again over the years.
Life is unpredictable, and even if a good plan helps, being resilient, flexible, and able to deal with whatever comes our way helps as well.

Having some sense of humor is quite helpful too, just like having that famous plan.
Dealing with the unexpected is part of being human, and still, it is no excuse for having no plans, no direction in life, and no long-term ambitions.

[The unexpected can be...

Just what you actually needed]

Also, dealing with the unexpected doesn't always make the expected outcome less likely.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #184. - Where beauty lies, for you

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they have been saying for over two thousand years, by now.

And they will probably keep saying it as long as we will all be around.

Even more so, in a world that wants to celebrate and empower diversity.

We all have our own sense of beauty, style, aesthetics.

We look different, we are surrounded by different stimuli, we are attracted and impressed by different things.

[Beauty is a state of mind.

Discovering new places for it can be the quest of a lifetime]

This can be very enriching and valuable, as we get a chance to discover what can be beautiful for someone else and, very often, we are surprised to experience something so different from what we considered the epitome of beauty just five minutes before.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #181. - Curiosity is...

Curiosity killed the cat, they say.
Well, luckily enough, in such a scenario cats still have eight further lives at their disposal, that's it.

Jokes aside, curiosity can be a pretty worrisome topic.
Depending on the context, on the spirit of the time, and on your interlocutor, curiosity is either what makes life interesting and helps people to grow or what can cause any kind of troubles and difficult situations... or get cats killed, at least in old proverbs.

[Do you want to play a game? 

Ask five friends of yours this question

and compare the answers you will get. 

Some answers will surprise you]

Probably both perspectives are right, to some extent.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #175. - When in doubt, smell the roses

Being able to "smell the roses" means being able to celebrate the small things in life that are often ignored or taken for granted.
It can also mean taking the time to unplug, to relax, to be fully aware of the present moment.

Seen this way, "smelling the roses" can be considered a synonym for mindfulness, self-care, thoughtfulness.

[Smelling the roses on a regular basis can feel odd at first,

and yet it is a very precious habit that needs to be cultivated]

Whatever the meaning that the figure of speech can have for each of us, we should not spend a single week without dedicating at least some time to all those tiny moments that can have a huge impact on the quality of our life.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #48. - Cats in the sack & small achievements

A famous Italian figure of speech, probably well-known above all because of the inimitable Italian football manager Giovanni Trapattoni, goes like this:

"Non dire gatto se non ce l'hai nel sacco!", which literally means: "Don't say cat if you don't have it in your sack!" and that is used in the same context as "Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched!" in the English language.

What does it actually mean? Don't get your hopes up, don't celebrate your victories too soon, don't take something for granted too early.

[Cats in the sack... 

A new name for your small achievements]

Being careful is a good asset.

Still, celebrating all the steps in-between and all the small achievements that bring to bigger ones is a very powerful habit as well. Even while leaving cats in peace, that's it.

Coaching question of the day: 

"How can you celebrate one small achievement of yours today?"

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Small achievements, Celebrating your victories

What to read next:

How do you reply when someone asks you about yourself? Do you do something or are you something? Feat. my own "I'm really good at" blogging game

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Where to start, if you are new

"Fall seven times, stand up eight" and other nine motivational quotes and proverbs that will turn a bad day into a better one

I am sure you know those days.
You wake up in the morning, and you know for sure that you can seize the day and go with the flow. You feel full of ideas and energy. You believe that everything is possible. And that you can make your own magic, and you go for it.

It would be awesome if every day would look like those days, sure thing.
Still, there are also those other days. The ones where you feel tired, exhausted, bored, or just hopeless. The ones where nothing seems to go like it should. The ones where you would just prefer to go back to bed and call it... a day.

[The day has not been that terrific so far?

Keep it cool and remember that the day is not over yet.

Pic: Me, December 2018 © Radoslaw Kosiada]

And yet, it doesn't matter how bad a day could have been so far, as long as you are awake and the day is not over yet, you can still improve your attitude, switch gears and turn your day into a better one. It is highly likely that it is not going to become the best day of your life, and yet there is for sure room for improvement. And that is all that counts.

If you are looking for the right mindset for your switch, here you have ten motivational quotes and proverbs that will make you feel glad that the day is not over yet.

One coaching question a day - #12. What is unforgettable to you?

"How could it be possible to forget you?!?", they ask. 

As if they would be asking how could someone manage to forget that we need air to breathe and to survive.

And yet, being unforgettable feels kind of ambivalent, to me.

Something can be either unforgettably good or unforgettably bad, so to speak. And even if I know that, in my case, they mean it in a good way, the word "unforgettable" keeps making me wonder.

[Is being seen as "unforgettable" always a good sign?

Pic: Me, December 2018 © Radoslaw Kosiada]

Is being unforgettable always something to be proud of or to consider in a positive way?

Or is it more a matter of perception, so it is not about being unforgettable for real, but about being seen as unforgettable by someone instead?

Do you want me to accept your LinkedIn invitation? Pay attention to these five things

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, they say.
Most of the time, they are right. (It happens a lot that they are right, just deal with it)

Still, when it is about networking and having an account on websites for professionals, I like to keep things simple and to embrace a minimalist approach.
This means that besides the Google+ account related to this blog, you can find me on LinkedIn, and on LinkedIn only. When people send me invitations for other networks, I pass, even if I feel flattered. Time is limited, and I prefer to focus on one network, where I have a strong and well-tailored profile.

Thanks to my profile and professional experience, I receive new invitations on a regular basis.
Some people follow a strict policy and they accept only invitations from people they know well in real life. I consider it a good option to also accept invitations from people that I don't know yet, if their profile is relevant to me. That said, I am always amazed at how sloppy and amateurish LinkedIn profiles and above all invitations can get.

[You don't have to look like a modern dandy, 

in order to make a great impression on LinkedIn,

but displaying a drunken selfie or some weird cat pic

would just not help. Just saying.

Image credit: ISO Republic]

Do you want me (= and probably other people as well) to accept your LinkedIn invitation? Then you should probably pay a little bit more attention to the following five things:

The book writing advice that could be perfect for all your relationships as well

Who is your intellectual crush?

You know, that person that is so smart, so fun to listen to or to read, so brilliant, so damn good, that they could talk for two hours about the phone book and you would still be all in for that.

As you may already or may not know yet, one of my biggest and dearest intellectual crushes is Naomi Dunford, no strings attached and no sex involved. But still.

I don't care about what she is talking about, I am in, brainal after brainal. Because, well, she is that good.

[Intellectual crushes, anyone?

Nope, I am not talking about Christopher Reeve

with his sexy glasses, the one and only Clark Kent for me

(sorry, Henry Cavill, Dean Cain & Tom Welling!)]

So, even if I am not planning to write a book right now, I got hooked on the launch articles she wrote for her class Write A Book With Me a couple of months ago and a sentence just clicked with me:

That easy, intuitive rule that I made for myself, regarding the people in my life

Someone very wise told me lately: "While looking around, you could have the impression that some people need a pretty good reason for being in a good mood, and others need a pretty good one for being in a bad mood".

(yes, the people in my life are truly cool, I agree)

How are you usually going through your day?

How does your emotional baseline look like?

#1. Are you miserable, grumpy and way too serious, somehow afraid of looking stupid, if you should smile too much or connect with others, by any chance?

A smile without reason is a sign of idiocy. (Russian proverb)

#2. Are you sunny, welcoming and willing to shine, doing your best to share your positive attitude and spread good vibes around you?

Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods. (Japanese proverb)

If you should enter a new room, it doesn't matter whether for

'Se son rose, fioriranno', or why one should just sit on her hands, sometimes...

Sometimes, if you care about someone, the most difficult thing to do is just... not doing anything.

Sometimes one has just to sit on his/her hands, while waiting for something or for someone, giving another person a chance to take the time for the right decision or for making a difference, or just for thinking about what's really important.

We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond. 

Gwendolyn Brooks [1917-2000]

[Keeping calm and enjoying the silence...

can be the way to go, once in a while]

Accepting the silence can be very difficult. Accepting that one can't control everything and that one is just not in charge, for a change, can be frustrating.

And yet, being able to stay in the situation anyway and to wait without doing or saying anything means possessing a great skill.

The clear correlation between Brad Pitt's six-pack and unforgettable kisses

It doesn't matter how badly you would love to be kissed by someone. Most of the times, to merely want to be kissed by that someone is just not enough to get what you want. Most of the times you will have to do something or be something for getting there.

[A not at all easily obtained kiss: the famous love scene 

between Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire) 

and Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) 

in Spider-Man (2002) by Sam Raimi]

Easily obtained kisses aren't worth it, an old proverb says.