Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #214. - The golden part of your day, every day

One of the most well-known Italian old proverbs, so famous that it has even been used in the Italian version of Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, declares that "Il mattino ha l'oro in bocca".

That's the equivalent of the English "The early bird catches the worm" and yet, literally, it means "The morning has gold in its mouth".

Besides the weirdness of that image, I always loved the idea of seeing the morning as a golden moment, a special time in the day where everything can feel precious, rare, and valuable.

[How much time do you dedicate to yourself

and your morning routine each day?]

Since I have been a night-owl my whole life, my concept of "morning" has always been a little bit different from the most traditional ones, and yet even night-owls can have their own morning routine.

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #48. - Cats in the sack & small achievements

A famous Italian figure of speech, probably well-known above all because of the inimitable Italian football manager Giovanni Trapattoni, goes like this:

"Non dire gatto se non ce l'hai nel sacco!", which literally means: "Don't say cat if you don't have it in your sack!" and that is used in the same context as "Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched!" in the English language.

What does it actually mean? Don't get your hopes up, don't celebrate your victories too soon, don't take something for granted too early.

[Cats in the sack... 

A new name for your small achievements]

Being careful is a good asset.

Still, celebrating all the steps in-between and all the small achievements that bring to bigger ones is a very powerful habit as well. Even while leaving cats in peace, that's it.

Coaching question of the day: 

"How can you celebrate one small achievement of yours today?"

Tags: Coaching question, Self-coaching, Self-awareness, Small achievements, Celebrating your victories

What to read next:

How do you reply when someone asks you about yourself? Do you do something or are you something? Feat. my own "I'm really good at" blogging game

Visiting the blog for the first time? Aloha!

Where to start, if you are new

10 further unusual Italian first name for men you never heard before

Every name, and this is true bove all the most unusual ones, is a story in a nutshell.

A name tells something about a place, a tradition (or the lack of tradition, which could be a tradition per se, to be honest), a culture, a language, special circumstances, a community, the Zeitgeist.

After the 20 ones I posted for you yesterday, here can you find 10 further examples of unusual, poetic, old-fashioned and rare Italian first names for men:

1. Cristofaro

2. Eufemio

3. Ezio

4. Feliciano

5. Lantaro

[The Teresio Olivelli municipal park, 

formerly known as Giardino Meier (Tremezzo, Como),

dedicated to the Italian Resistance movement member

Teresio Olivelli, 1916-1945]

6. Maggiorino

7. Neviano

8. Teodoro

9. Teresio

10. Valter (instead of the most common "Walter")

What further unusual Italian names do you know, if any?

How about the unusual names in your own language?

Tags: Exotic names, Unusual names, Italian male names, Old-fashioned names, Self-awareness, Emotional intelligence

What to read next:

80 unusual and yet fascinating Italian first names for women

Visiting the blog for the first time? Aloha!

Where to start, if you are new 

20 unusual Italian first names for men you never heard before

Ah, unusual (and quite old-fashioned) Italian male names!

While having a very unusual name myself, I always have been fascinated by strange, old, weird, uncommon, and pretty exotic names.

Here can you find 20 examples of unusual, poetic, old-fashioned and rare Italian first names for men:

1. Ammiano
2. Amplonio
3. Ausonio
4. Bernabò
5. Cola (like Cola di Rienzo)
6. Ermenegildo (like the fashion designer Ermenegildo Zegna)

[Robert De Niro, 2017

as a testimonial for Ermenegildo Zegna]

7. Eusebio
8. Eustachio
9. Fausto
10. Fazio (today, a common Italian surname)

80 unusual and yet fascinating Italian first names for women

What are the "usual suspects" that get chosen over and over again, when we are talking about baby names?
What are the most trendy names of the last ten years for that arena, in your own language, culture, country or niche of reference?

And what about the unusual ones, instead?

About ten years ago I started collecting 'old fashioned' and/or very unusual Italian first names.

While having a very unusual name myself and being sure that living with such a name had a huge impact on my whole life and how my personality got shaped over the years, I have always found it fascinating hearing a wonderful, unusual and very often 'special' name while meeting a new person for the first time.

[Nice, to e-meet you! My name is Azzurra,

which in Italian means "light-blue".

Yep, the color. Yep, you are right.
Pic: Me, December 2018 © Radoslaw Kosiada] 

Every single time, it gives me the impression that I know a little bit about the person already and I can relate to them,

'Se son rose, fioriranno', or why one should just sit on her hands, sometimes...

Sometimes, if you care about someone, the most difficult thing to do is just... not doing anything.

Sometimes one has just to sit on his/her hands, while waiting for something or for someone, giving another person a chance to take the time for the right decision or for making a difference, or just for thinking about what's really important.

We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond. 

Gwendolyn Brooks [1917-2000]

[Keeping calm and enjoying the silence...

can be the way to go, once in a while]

Accepting the silence can be very difficult. Accepting that one can't control everything and that one is just not in charge, for a change, can be frustrating.

And yet, being able to stay in the situation anyway and to wait without doing or saying anything means possessing a great skill.

Three fundamentals of diversity management that can help you not being rude with strangers at the next party

Wherever I go, some people tend to think that they already know me, as soon as they discover that I'm Italian.

They think to know what I think.

They believe to understand what I like or what I am going to do.

They make jokes about Italians, and maybe they consider it funny.

It doesn't matter that they don't know me.

It doesn't matter that they usually know very little about Italy and Italians.

It doesn't matter that I don't like what a lot of Italians are supposed to like.

Those people have some cliché about Italians in mind and since I am Italian, hey!, I should be like that. Or I should find funny if someone that I got to know five minutes before starts to make fun of Italy. Maybe it is an ice-breaker for them, insulting other people and make fun of them.

They don't see me.

They see just the clichés about Italians.

A living cliché, in my case.

[A beautiful Italian movie that goes beyond clichés:

Pane e tulipani (Bread and Tulips, 2000) by Silvio Soldini

starring Licia Maglietta and Bruno Ganz]

In the past, I was very angry and annoyed. Every single time.

Now? Now I smile. And I nod. And I go away as soon as I can without drama. Why?

What kind of observer's point of view are you choosing for yourself?, or the one with Goofy

A quote I know only in Italian, and that apparently has been ascribed to the Italian version of Disney's Goofy, called Pippo, goes like this:

È strano come una discesa, vista dal basso, somigli tanto a una salita.
In English, it could sound like 'It's very strange how a journey downhill, if seen from below, looks so similar to a journey uphill'.

[A journey uphill or downhill?
Image credit: Mike Putnam Photography]

It helps me every day to remember that very often almost everything in life, it doesn't matter if we are talking about a situation, a job, or a relationship, has no unique "meaning" and the way we see it depends on the observer's point of view we are choosing for ourselves.
Even if we don't know we're choosing one.

I am convinced that we can apply the same concept to people. What do I mean?
Often, in the past, I thought that I was 'too much' [put your favorite "difficult" adjective here] for some people around me, but over the years I learned that sometimes some people are simply "not enough" for me.

What's your observer's point of view?
What is too much, or not enough?

Tags: Perception, Point of view, Reframing, Quotes, Self-awareness

What to read next:

Which one of these 9 different possibilities to describe how full a glass of water is resonates with you? 

Visiting the blog for the first time? Aloha!

Where to start, if you are new 

Who is your personal guru? Seth Godin? Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa? Or both?

How often do you catch yourself saying that everything is going to be okay?

Or saying that things will be fine, in the end?

In his blog post Nine ideas in search of a blog post, Seth Godin says:

"Everything will be alright" is not the same as "everything will stay the same"

In my humble opinion, he's absolutely right.

This makes life interesting and new, every single day, and, well... this makes me feel alive.

I want to be sure that everything will NOT stay the same. Otherwise, I would feel lost and imprisoned.

Everything will be alright, for sure.
And everything will be alright because almost anything will stay the same. What eigentlich matters is... what will stay the same.
The rest is just a plus. Or something not so important, after all.

[Claudia Cardinale and Alain Delon in
Il Gattopardo by Luchino Visconti]

Three words in four languages for my 2011, because failure is just the beginning

A new year is about to start, and it is going to be kind of unique.

Probably not an easy one, and yet for sure a cathartic one.

[My Kim Novak in Purple]

2010 has been tough and, from the outside, one could think that I've experienced failure every single day for the whole year, while living in a different country, in a different culture, in a different language.

But. But even if I have been sometimes overwhelmed by fears, sadness, or just millions of cultural misunderstandings, I kept going. No matter what.
Maybe sometimes not so fast or not so confidently as I would have wanted, but I kept going anyway.  And that's what matters.

In Chris Brogan's style, my three words for 2011 are going to be:

#1. Courage (Mut, courage, coraggio)
#2. Perseverance (Entschlossenheit, détermination, determinazione)
#3. Quality (Qualität, qualité, qualità)

Tags: Three words for one year, Self-awareness, Self-mastery, Emotional intelligence, Perseverance

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #79. - Setting goals like a she-devil

Visiting the blog for the first time? Aloha!

Where to start, if you are new

Do you need a cold shower? And other clichés...

There are stereotypes and clichés that are "more real than reality", as we say in Italian.

Sometimes feeling bad is a really good thing. Sometimes a bad thing is more positive than it appears or it gives us the right kick to get going, to restart, to change. To be awake, at last. To see what we didn't want to see or to understand.

Among the clichés that are used and overused in movies we can find for example:
- throwing up after a hangover;
- a cold shower;
- receiving a slap when having a hysterical reaction;

- crying uncontrollably.

Still sure that "bad" always means "bad"?

--

Alcuni stereotipi e clichées sono "più veri del vero", come si dice in italiano.

A volte sentirsi male è in realtà un'ottima cosa. A volte qualcosa di negativo è più positivo di quanto non sembri o ci dà la giusta spinta per metterci in moto, per ricominciare, per cambiare. Per svegliarci, infine. Per vedere ciò che non volevamo vedere o capire.

Tra i clichées che vengono usati e abusati nei film si possono trovare, per esempio:
- vomitare dopo una sbornia;

- fare una doccia fredda;
- ricevere uno schiaffo dopo aver avuto una reazione isterica;

- piangere in maniera incontrollata.

Siamo proprio sicuri che "negativo" significhi sempre "negativo"?

Tags: Clichés, Stereotypes, Cold shower, Changes, Clichées, Stereotipi, Doccia fredda, Cambiamenti

Playing with words #1. Exotic or erotic?

For many people, something (or someone...) exotic is ipso facto also attractive and maybe erotic. Already heard about dark Latin lovers or cute Japanese girls, anyone?

Under these circumstancese, being exotic somehow means being erotic too...

[A beautiful and exotic Purple flower
Image source: Healthy Home Gardening]

Until today I had never noticed that only one consonant separates also literally something exotic from something erotic, in at least four languages. But I'm starting to doubt in a lot more...

• English - exotic / erotic
• French - exotique / érotique
• German - exotisch / erotisch
• Italian - esotico / erotico

Do you know other languages for this wordplay?

--

Per molte persone, qualcosa (o qualcuno...) esotico è automaticamente attraente e in una certa misura erotico. Avete già sentito parlare di focosi Latin lovers e deliziose ragazze giapponesi?
In tali circostanze, essere esotici significa in qualche modo essere anche erotici...

Fino a oggi non avevo notato che solo una consonante separa anche letteralmente qualcosa esotico da qualcosa erotico, in almeno quattro lingue. Ma probabilmente in molte di più...

• Inglese - exotic / erotic
• Francese - exotique / érotique
• Tedesco - exotisch / erotisch
• Italiano - esotico / erotico

Conoscete altre lingue in cui questo gioco di parole sia valido?

Tags: Word play, Adjective, Language, Learning a language, Exotic, Erotic, Gioco di parole, Aggettivo, Imparare una lingua, Esotico, Erotico

While dealing with (stupid) cultural stereotypes, repeat after me: I'm not Marlon Brando, you're not Marlon Brando

Apart from learning new words, the hardest thing for me while speaking German is to improve my pronunciation.

Italian and German are absolutely different from this point of view and Italian intonation is too sweet and melodic to fit well into German.

In Italian, there's no H at all, the vowels are often open, there's no 'ch' as in 'ich'.
I do phonetics exercises almost every day and I try very hard to speak properly, but my pronunciation is not perfect yet. But.

[Genial and stylish, even if he has nothing to do
with real Italian people and how they speak:
Marlon Brando as Don Vito Corleone
in The Godfather (1972) by Francis Coppola]

There's one thing I hate and find 100% idiot. When I meet new people and they discover I'm Italian, they start chanting two or three sentences in Italian by marking too many double consonants, overdoing intonation, and by gesturing in an exaggerated way, as if we were in a scene of The Godfather.

Mood: Speechless... or Nikita?

[Anne Parillaud as Nikita
in Nikita (1990) by Luc Besson]

I'm so fucking upset. And angry, of course.
Just like Nikita...

Update: 
It's interesting to say... After almost six months I don't remember why I was so upset. Maybe I should think about it, the next time I let something spoil my day.

Are you doing the same?

--
Sono così dannatamente fuori fase. E ovviamente arrabbiata.
Proprio come Nikita...

Update: 
Trovo interessante che, circa sei mesi dopo aver scritto questo post, io non ricordi minimamente perché fossi così arrabbiata e fuori fase. Forse è il caso che me ne ricordi e ci pensi, la prossima volta in cui permetterò a qualcuno di rovinarmi la giornata.

Capita anche a voi?

Tags: Anger, Rabbia, Emotions, Emozioni

Cyber-message in a cyber-bottle, Feat. Robin Wright Penn

[Robin Wright Penn in Message in a Bottle (1999)]

To all people who usually don't think about it:

Being an expat is hard.
Speaking the whole time a foreign language is hard.
Living in a different culture is hard.

Be kind.
Because people from another countries are just like you.
They are better than how would you like to make them feel.

--

A tutte le persone che di solito non ci pensano:

Essere un expat è difficile.
Parlare tutto il tempo una lingua straniera è difficile.
Vivere in un'altra cultura è difficile.

Siate gentili.
Perché le persone che vengono da altri Paesi sono proprio come voi.
Sono persone migliori di come vorreste farle sentire.

Tags: Being an expat, Foreign language, Cultural differences, Vita da expat, Lingua straniera, Differenze culturali

Mood: Looking for Simplicity, Feat. Henri-Louis Bergson

L'homme devrait mettre autant d'ardeur à simplifier sa vie qu'il en met à la compliquer.

Henri-Louis Bergson [1859-1941]

This quote by French philosopher and essayist Henri-Louis Bergson says "People should put as much passion to simplify their life as they put to complicate it". 

It is a very interesting point of view and I know for sure that sometimes we feel so lost in our problems and in our thoughts, just like in this Black-and-White labyrinth, that we forget that for sure another way is possible too. Another solution. Another life.

To simplify is not that simple, of course, and takes time and practice.

But practice makes the master, after all.

Are you willing to semplifiy your life too?

How do you make your life more simple and easy-to-manage?

--

Questa citazione del filosofo e saggista francese Henri-Louis Bergson suona come "L'uomo dovrebbe tentare con altrettanto ardore di rendere la propria vita più semplice di quanto ne impieghi per renderla complicata". 

Si tratta di un punto di vista molto interessante e so per certo che a volte siamo talmente persi nei nostri problemi e nei nostri pensieri, proprio come in questo labirinto in bianco e nero, che ci dimentichiamo che c'è sicuramente un'altra via possibile. Un'altra soluzione. Un'altra vita.

Naturalmente non è così semplice rendere le cose semplici, e richiede tempo ed esercizio. 

Ma dopo tutto è l'esercizio che porta alla perfezione.

Desiderate anche voi semplificare la vostra vita?

Come rendete la vostra vita più semplice e facile da gestire?

Tags: Henri Bergson, Simplicity, Philosophy, Literature, Quotes, Semplicità, Filosofia, Letteratura, Citazioni

Mood: No Regrets - Part II, Feat. Henry David Thoreau

Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.

Henry David Thoreau [1817-1862]

Personally I consider Henry David Thoreau's prose still amazingly modern, vibrating and fresh.

After almost 150 years I can still find myself in his words, in his sentences, in his desire for a more authentic life.

And yet it's not so easy to make the most of your own regrets. 

People should be deeply honest with themselves, in order to achieve it.

Are you able to do it?

--

Traete il meglio dai vostri rimorsi, non soffocate mai la vostra tristezza. Prendetevene cura e apprezzatela, invece, fino a che diventerà una fonte di interesse a sé stante. Avere dei grandi rimorsi significa vivere di nuovo.

Henry David Thoreau [1817-1862]

Considero la prosa di Henry David Thoreau ancora incredibilmente moderna, vibrante e fresca.  Dopo quasi centocinquant'anni posso ancora ritrovarmi nelle sue parole, nelle sue frasi, nel suo desiderio di una vita più autentica.

Eppure non è così facile trarre il meglio dai propri rimorsi.

Le persone dovrebbero essere profondamente oneste con se stesse, per poterci riuscire.

Ne siete in grado?

Previous post:
Mood: No Regrets - Part I, Feat. Katharine Hepburn

Tags: Henry David Thoreau, Literature, Letteratura, Regrets, Rimorsi, People, Persone, Quotes, Citazioni

Mood: No Regrets - Part I, Feat. Katharine Hepburn

I have many regrets, and I'm sure everyone does. 

The stupid things you do, you regret... if you have any sense, and if you don't regret them, maybe you're stupid.

Katharine Houghton Hepburn [1907-2003]

We are all afraid of something.
We are afraid of making mistakes. We are afraid of being wrong. We are afraid of being hurt. We are just afraid and we avoid doing things in order to play it safe. To be sure. To not being hurt.

[Katharine Hepburn in her twenties...
What a gal!]

I am not sure that this is the best solution, though. I prefer to feel sorry because I did something and I did try, instead of not doing anything because I am afraid of making a fool of myself.

What about you?

Do you agree with Katharine Hepburn?

--

Ho molti rimorsi e sono sicura che tutti ne hanno. 

Se hai fatto delle cose stupide, hai dei rimorsi. Se sei intelligente e non hai rimorsi, può darsi che tu sia stupido... 

Katharine Houghton Hepburn [1907-2003]

Abbiamo tutti paura di qualcosa.
Abbiamo paura di sbagliare. Abbiamo paura di avere torto. Abbiamo paura di venire feriti. Abbiamo solamente paura ed evitiamo di fare qualcosa per poter andare sul sicuro. Per essere sicuri. Per non venir feriti.

Non sono sicura che questa sia la soluzione migliore, però. Preferisco essere dispiaciuta per aver fatto qualcosa e per aver tentato, piuttosto che non fare nulla perché ho paura di rendermi ridicola.

Voi che ne pensate?

Siete d'accordo con Katharine Hepburn?

Tags: Katharine Hepburn, Cinema, Regrets, Rimorsi, People, Persone, Quotes, Citazioni, Fear, Paura

Loneliness is... the difference between "allein" and "einsam", like the Germans say

It is so strange, comfortable, frightening, hard, and yet at the same time incredibly beautiful to be completely alone, with my thoughts.

This can be expressed very effectively in German too, because you can use two different adjectives for stating that you are "alone" or "lonely": "allein" and "einsam".

[Being alone with my thoughts feels like...
Purple Haze by Kevin Walker]

If you are allein (alone, in English), you are alone but you are happy with it and you are enjoying it, somehow.
If you are einsam (lonely, in English), you are feeling lonely and you are missing someone and/or someone. You are definitely not happy with it.

My mother tongue, Italian, works in another way.

On Air: Like a Rolling Stone

No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need...

The Rolling Stones, You Can't Always Get What You Want
(Let It Bleed, 1969)

[Keith Richards and Anita Pallenberg
at the time of their relationship, 1969]

You can't always get what you want, the Rolling Stones say. Of course not. Nobody can have it all.

But if you really want something, fight for it and try to get it. Really try. Maybe you can lose, but maybe not. If you don't try, you are not going to know it.

You can think that it's easy to say something like that for me, right? We are not talking about me, after all... Well, we are also talking about me, of course.

I am trying to learn German and change my life. It's not easy, but I want it and I am trying.

What is your biggest dream?

Are you trying to achieve it?

--

Non puoi sempre ottenere quello che desideri, cantano i Rolling Stones. Certo che no: nessuno può ottenere sempre tutto.

Ma se desideri davvero qualcosa, lotta per ottenerlo e provaci. Provaci davvero. Magari perderai, ma magari no. E se non provi, non avrai modo di scoprirlo.

Stai pensando proprio ora che è facile per me parlare così, giusto? Non stiamo parlando di me, dopo tutto. Beh, stiamo parlando anche di me, naturalmente.

Sto cercando di imparare il tedesco e di cambiare la mia vita. Non è facile, ma voglio farlo e ci sto provando.

Qual è il tuo sogno più grande?

Stai cercando di realizzarlo?

Tags: The Rolling Stones, You Can't Always Get What You Want, Let It Bleed, Lyrics, Testi, Music, Musica, Dreams, Sogni