Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #215. - The value of anticipation

Among the German sayings that could sound a little bit off, at least the first time you should hear them, my favorite is "Vorfreude ist die schönste Freude", which means "Anticipation is the most beautiful kind of joy".

Anticipating something, craving and desiring, counting the hours until something will happen, or even just being eager to cherish and enjoy an experience, an event, an encounter, or whatever can make us happy... indeed means being happy already, spending our time in a very special and cheerful state of mind.

[Looking forward to something

and enjoying something are two sides of the same coin]

More often than not, we are quite impatient to "get to the point" and keep ourselves busy while "passing the time" until the designated moment will occur. That's one way to look at it.

10 German words you probably don't know that can motivate and energize you

As a language, German has a reputation as a difficult, bureaucratic, emotionless, and somehow a little bit boring body of words. That could not be more misleading!

Even if sometimes German words are indeed... quite long and complex, and definitely pretty difficult to be pronounced properly at first, they are also precise, accurate, and very finely nuanced.

Here you have a couple of good examples, thanks to 10 German words that you probably never heard of before and that reflect motivating and useful concepts and attitudes:

#1. Begeisterungsfähigkeit, die f.

enthusiasm, ability to be enthusiastic

#2. Besonderheit, die f.

distinctiveness, peculiarity

#3. Entrümpelung, die f.

clearing out, decluttering

#4. Kultur-Audit, das n.

culture audit, audit of a specific culture

#5. Schaffensrausch, der m.

flow, burst of creativity

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #66. - Unstoppable, Goethe style

If I would ask you what is stopping you from doing what you want in your career, in your job, in your private life, chances are that you would name a couple of big hairy problems or some kind of fear.

No wonder that those huge obstacles stopped you. So far.

If we are dealing with a challenge and playing for high stakes, we tend to focus on the big picture, to consider all problems at once, to think that we need to have a solution for everything already before we can even start.

How about being unstoppable instead?

[Repeat after me: 

"I am unstoppable today"]

One small step at the time, one small action at the time, one small victory at the time. Just in the way Goethe suggested it:

Coaching tools for everyday life - Metaphors, pieces of cake and half battles

"You are in this for the long haul", you say.

"I don't get what you mean", they look at you, puzzled.

"You know, just imagine that this situation for you would be a little bit like if you would... [insert your catchy metaphor here]", you keep going. 

And suddenly, they get it. They get you. And your interaction reaches the next level.

Metaphors are pure gold, when you are trying to find common ground, to allow someone to discover a new perspective, to get your point across without being bossy or manipulative.

We use metaphors as a precious communication tool every day, many times a day, very often without even realizing it, and they are incredibly useful in coaching as well. If used effectively, they just click with us. [Which is, by the way, yet another metaphor]

[Who is going to get the biggest brownie of all? 

No-bake, gluten-free rose petal brownies

Image credit: PureWow © Liz Andrew (Photo) & Erin McDowell (Styling)]

A good example?

Short and sweet motivational questions for your self-care #9. Which kind of nonsense?

Let's go for a very simple and trivial question, one of those about the meaning of life, shall we?

How do you see it?

Do you think that the crazier, the better? Or do you prefer to play it safe?

How about a little bit of both, for a change?

It's not an easy question, right?
Still. Sometimes, serendipity has your back:

[How about a little bit of humbug, absurdity, BS?

From now on... Yes, please.

As long as it's just a little bit...]

While visiting a friend, today I stumbled upon this sticker on a door.

You are never going to be again as young as you are today - How are you going to make the most out of it?

With his own magic Cheshire cat smile that makes his green-blue eyes shine, he looks at me and says: "So jung wie heute kommen wir nicht mehr zusammen", which more or less means "We are never going to be together as young as we are today".

[Sure thing: I am never going to be again

as young as I was on the day this photo has been taken...

Pic: Me, March 2017 © Radoslaw Kosiada]

Even if it is a very popular German expression, even used in a couple of songs, by artists like Goitzsche Front, Tony Marshall (!) and Tocotronic, I've never heard it before and I find it true and hilarious at the same time.

Experiences - that are the scarred wounds of our stupidity.

John Osborne [1929-1994]

He explains that people usually say that when they are looking for an excuse for getting drunk or wasted, or for partying (way too) hard or... for doing something stupid while being carried away by the moment.

"What is happiness?", and the smallest daily action you can take, from now on, in order to be a little bit happier

If you could pick only two things, in order to define happiness, which ones would you go for?

German legendary novelist and poet Theodor Fontane [1819-1898] was pretty sure about his own picks:

Happiness, it seems to me, consists of two things: first, in being where you belong, and second -- and best -- in comfortably going through everyday life, that is, having had a good night's sleep and not being hurt by new shoes.

This is a good and pragmatic answer, if you ask me.

A couple of weeks ago, while experimenting with a new pin-up look, I picked the wrong shoes out of necessity, and oh boy, at the end of the day, my feet were absolutely not happy.

No doubt about the fact that Theodor Fontane was the pragmatic kind of guy, also famous for saying, more or less, that if one is happy already, one should not desire to become even happier. [in German: "Wenn man glücklich ist, sollte man nicht noch glücklicher sein wollen"]

[Untitled street art by Trek Thunder Kelly (2014)

in Venice, LA, CA (USA)

quoting Abraham Lincoln: 

"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be"

Image credit © Jennifer Saparzadeh]

But what if, even while being happy, one should still desire or aspire to get even happier?

Not feeling 300% motivated and full of energy 24/7 every single day? This is what you should ask yourself, instead of beating yourself up

Do you have any dreams?

Do you have any goals?

Most probably, yes.

And it is also very probable that you are working toward them. 

Chances are also very good that, once in a while, you may not feel like working on them and for them.

You may wonder... It is possible to be 300% motivated and full of energy 24/7 every single day?

Let me ask you something else, instead.

Is it reasonable to expect that from yourself?

[Never, never, never, never give up, they say.

What if, sometimes, it just feels so difficult?]

Let's be honest: not really.

Still, even if it is not humanly possible to be a ruthless goals machine every single minute of your day, you can become very fast at getting back on track every time that you are going to slip up.

Singleness made in Berlin - #2. Or how to recognize if you spent too many years flirting in German

Taking big decisions, changing life, switching from a situation to a new one, starting a new business or trying out a different hobby or activity can be challenging and scary, but also very rewarding, in the long run, if one is ready to accept the pain, the discomfort and the uncertainty in the first place, as Mark Twain beautifully said:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore, Dream, Discover.

Mark Twain [pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens, 1835-1910]

Something like this can be mind-blowing, but it is for sure not everybody's cup of tea.

[One popular motivational Internet meme:

The magic happens outside the comfort zone]

Same same but different, they say. 

We are all human beings, we have the same needs, we know the same feelings and we experience the same emotions, even if we learn to show and express them in different ways, depending on variables like culture, country, familiar situation, education, gender, age, etc.

And yet we all are going to die at some point and so we should take the most out of our days. 

How to heal the hidden scars, or why falling in love and getting lost could save you

What do words mean to you?

Words are more powerful than swords, or do you consider it to be true the other way around?

I always believed that words are magic. That they are powerful enough to shape worlds, to influence people, to change one's destiny. To create new ways of thinking, to move someone, to make a difference.

Words have for sure the power to heal. To cherish. To thank. To hurt. To fight. To lie. To tell a story, To make someone laugh, or cry. To stand up for something. To talk with friends and loved ones. In one word, to communicate.

For there is nothing lost, that may be found, if sought.

Edmund Spenser [1552-1599]

And yet, words are also wonderful to make a fool of oneself. Even more in a foreign language.

["Not till we are lost... do we begin to find ourselves"

In my humble opinion, anyone else can 

explain the meaning of life in a sentence like Thoreau does...]

In over five years in Germany, I never noticed - until today - that only one tiny letter allows to distinguishing the verb "sich verlieben" (to fall in love) from the verb "sich verlieren" (to get lost).

Funny, don't you think?

Or tragic, maybe. To fall in love with someone is not as dangerous, interesting, challenging, stressful and surprising as to get lost, after all?

And if it's true, like Thoreau said, that while getting lost we can find ourselves, it may be the same while falling in love, even if the love is not a happy one?

Let our scars fall in love.

Galway Kinnell [1927-2014]

Each of us has scars. And I am not talking about tattoos, this time. Scars can be difficult to ignore, if people carry them on their body or on their face.
...Or they can be invisible, if they are hidden in the soul.

Can falling in love and getting lost be in that case a way to take care of one's scars and to go on in a different, more lucid way? To change for the best, while dealing with the worst fears and demons one has?

To be brave and bold, no matter what, and to learn how to defeat obstacles and crash barriers?

I hope so. And you?

Tags: Deutsch, Falling in love, Quotes, People, Scars

What to read next:

Jay Gatsby's way of loving, or the dilemma between pushing harder and giving up

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False friends can be very tricky while trying to be classy, or the secret and exclusive club of colorful people

Ah, dezent! 

I got this one. No wait, maybe I didn't. 

In fact, dezent is one of those German words that, while speaking Italian as a native speaker, could be easily misunderstood. 

[Red total look: something not so usual in the streets of Berlin...

if it is not Fashion Week]

What does make dezent such a tricky word, you may ask.

Dezent is what in linguistics is called a 'false friend': a word in a foreign language that seems to be very similar to some words in your own language, but that actually has a completely different meaning. 

False friends can be very tricky while learning a new language while living abroad, while working in an international working environment, while translating a text.

How to learn a foreign language while watching movies

A good way for learning a foreign language is watching movies in that language, no matter if in original version with or without subtitles. The subtitles offer a lot of different solutions and combinations, for that matter.

Let's use a German movie as an example. What about Good Bye Lenin! or Run Lola Run?

[Good Bye Lenin! (2003) by Wolfgang Becker 

with Daniel Brühl and Katrin Saß]

While watching the movie in German, we would have at least these options to choose from:

#1. German version without subtitles;

#2. German version with subtitles in German;

#3. German version with subtitles for hearing impaired in German (if available);

#4. German version with subtitles in English;

#5. German version with subtitles for hearing impaired in English (if available);

#6. German version with subtitles in your native tongue, if different from English (Italian, in my case);

#7. German version with subtitles for hearing impaired in your native tongue (if available);

#8. German version with subtitles in another foreign language you would love to improve as well (French or Spanish, in my case);

#9. German version with subtitles for hearing impaired in another foreign language you would love to improve (if available).

etc.

You got the point, right?

While watching the movie, paying attention to the story and reading the subtitles at the same time, it will be easier for you to remember certain words or idiomatic expressions, to focus on the pronunciation, to understand in which occasions you should say something like that. Or in which occasions you shouldn't say something like that at any cost. 

It all depends on you and on which aspect of this method could be the most interesting and useful for you.
I like for example to discover new idiomatic expressions and figures of speech while seeing immediately in the movie when and how I should use them.

 [One funny German expression I learned from a movie?

 Holla die Waldfee!,

old-fashioned way for meaning What a surprise!]

You can mix the combinations, you can opt for subtitles in your native tongue or in English if you are a little tired or the movie is a difficult one, you can switch to the subtitles in the movie language or in your second (or third...) foreign language if you are familiar with the subject or if you know the book or the comic or that special book-to-film adaptation.

What about you?

Do you watch movies in another language for improving your language skills? In which combination?

Previous post:

A day in 8/15 style...

Tags: Holla die Waldfee, Learning a foreign language, Idiomatic expression, German, How to express surprise, Movies with subtitles

A day in 8/15 style...

... doesn't mean nothing to most of you, right?

But if you are a German-speaking person, you can understand for sure the meaning of this idiomatic expression.

'08/15' means for most German speakers 'standard' or, even worse, 'nothing special'.

If you would like to describe a situation, an habit, a result or a product that is standard, a little bit cheap and maybe boring as well, you can use this idiom and almost every person would get your point. 

This is a good example about something very difficult to translate and also difficult to understand, if you manage to know a little German (as a language) but no German at all (as a culture). 

I always find extremely fascinating how much a language and a culture are related and tend to influence each other massively without giving this impression at all. This is one of the reasons because speaking a foreign language with proficiency is challenging and requires a lot of exercise (and the right background).

There is no place for 08/15 performances, if you want to speak a foreign language very well. Instead of seeing a problem in it, I like and accept the challenge. It's part of the game, after all.

And you? Do you have a favourite idiomatic expression?

ps. Despite the title of the post, my day wasn't 08/15 at all.

Further information:

08/15 Redewendung [in German]

Tags: 08/15, Translation, Idiomatic expression, German, Standard

Something interesting to read in German: 'Weiblich, jung, flexibel' by Felicitas Pommerening

I am reading more: In Italian, in English, in German.

Sometimes three books at the same time, in three different languages. This means that sometimes I need ages just to be able to actually finish one of them, but I find it more interesting just like that.

A new book I would like to read:

Weiblich, jung, flexibel - Von den wichtigen Momenten im Leben und wie man sie am besten verpasst (Paperback)
by Felicitas Pommerening
Herder Verlag, 2012
178 pp., ISBN 978-3451305320

The book, partially autobiographical, it's about how hard it can be to find a job in Germany if you are, like in the title, a young woman, "too" flexible and with no experience.

Since I am always looking for books that can help me to improve my German and to better understand the German culture, it sounds like fun!

Tags: Reading list, German, Young female authors, Learning a foreign language with books

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How to learn a foreign language, Zombie Boy & a difficult and yet interesting question for tattooed people

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On Air: Wir müssen das nicht tun

The hard part of being intolerant or allergic to something is not really not being able to be in contact with something or to eat it. No. The hard part is knowing it and feeling bad because of it. Feeling 'defekt', wrong, even stupid sometimes.

With some people is just the same. With people that are wrong for you.

[Purple chocolate, anyone?]

Three words in four languages for my 2011, because failure is just the beginning

A new year is about to start, and it is going to be kind of unique.

Probably not an easy one, and yet for sure a cathartic one.

[My Kim Novak in Purple]

2010 has been tough and, from the outside, one could think that I've experienced failure every single day for the whole year, while living in a different country, in a different culture, in a different language.

But. But even if I have been sometimes overwhelmed by fears, sadness, or just millions of cultural misunderstandings, I kept going. No matter what.
Maybe sometimes not so fast or not so confidently as I would have wanted, but I kept going anyway.  And that's what matters.

In Chris Brogan's style, my three words for 2011 are going to be:

#1. Courage (Mut, courage, coraggio)
#2. Perseverance (Entschlossenheit, détermination, determinazione)
#3. Quality (Qualität, qualité, qualità)

Tags: Three words for one year, Self-awareness, Self-mastery, Emotional intelligence, Perseverance

What to read next:

Coaching, reloaded - Coaching question of the day #79. - Setting goals like a she-devil

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Playing with words #1. Exotic or erotic?

For many people, something (or someone...) exotic is ipso facto also attractive and maybe erotic. Already heard about dark Latin lovers or cute Japanese girls, anyone?

Under these circumstancese, being exotic somehow means being erotic too...

[A beautiful and exotic Purple flower
Image source: Healthy Home Gardening]

Until today I had never noticed that only one consonant separates also literally something exotic from something erotic, in at least four languages. But I'm starting to doubt in a lot more...

• English - exotic / erotic
• French - exotique / érotique
• German - exotisch / erotisch
• Italian - esotico / erotico

Do you know other languages for this wordplay?

--

Per molte persone, qualcosa (o qualcuno...) esotico è automaticamente attraente e in una certa misura erotico. Avete già sentito parlare di focosi Latin lovers e deliziose ragazze giapponesi?
In tali circostanze, essere esotici significa in qualche modo essere anche erotici...

Fino a oggi non avevo notato che solo una consonante separa anche letteralmente qualcosa esotico da qualcosa erotico, in almeno quattro lingue. Ma probabilmente in molte di più...

• Inglese - exotic / erotic
• Francese - exotique / érotique
• Tedesco - exotisch / erotisch
• Italiano - esotico / erotico

Conoscete altre lingue in cui questo gioco di parole sia valido?

Tags: Word play, Adjective, Language, Learning a language, Exotic, Erotic, Gioco di parole, Aggettivo, Imparare una lingua, Esotico, Erotico

Words one should better forget, while learning a new language

During the last year, one of my worst nightmares has been...
Learning new German words, in order to improve my vocabulary and to enhance my language skills in German.

Yesterday I had just another chance to observe that, sometimes, instead of learning new words, it's actually better to forget some of them or to rather never use them.

One of the most dangerous is certainly "typisch", that in German means "typical".

How I'm learning German, one word at the time

German has a reputation for being a very difficult language to be learned as a foreign language.
Personally, I have not had too many problems while learning German grammar. My biggest problem is - still - how to increase my vocabulary.
In order to really learn the words and to use them effectively, you have to use them and to use them, you must already know them... a vicious circle which it's very difficult to escape from. At least for me.

I have also noticed that, if on a particular occasion, someone tells me a word I don't know yet and this word is perfect for describing the situation itself, I can learn it easily.
So today I learned a new word in German: Spinner. It can mean 'stupid, idiot, nutcase' and I guess I will remember it for a very long time.

PS. Thanks, Keegan!

Tags: Learning a language, Learning new words, Learning from experience

What to read next:
How to lose yourself in the mirror maze of a foreign language... 

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My first book in German: "Der Geschmack von Apfelkernen"

I'm reading my first book in German, for my new German class: 'Der Geschmack von Apfelkernen' (lit. 'The taste of apple kernels'), a big bestseller in Germany.

Der Geschmack von Apfelkernen (Paperback)
by Katharina Hagena
Kiepenheuer & Witsch, 2009
254 pp., ISBN 978-3462041491

I already read 'Der kleine Prinz' (engl. titl. 'The Little Prince') in German, but it 'doesn't matter', even if it's my favorite book.
To put it better, I already read 'The Little Prince' in Italian, English, and French so many times, so it doesn't matter because I know the text very well and reading a book I know so well it's obviously not as difficult as a book never read before.

I started today.
Wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed for me.

Tags: Der Geschmack von Apfelkernen, Katharina Hagena, Literature, Learning German, Learning a language

Further information:
The Katharina Hagena's official website [in German]

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